My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2195: Chapter 2028: Sorrow

You will never understand my sorrow, just as you can’t comprehend or understand my love for you!

Ran Zhihan kept whispering into Zhang Yichen’s ear, hoping that she could summon back the man she loved the most. She didn’t want the man she had loved for so many years to remain in eternal sleep like this. She couldn’t bear to see this happening to herself. If she had to face such a situation, she would rather be the one lying in the hospital bed than Zhang Yichen. To Ran Zhihan, nothing was more important than Zhang Yichen!

It’s uncertain if Zhang Yichen heard the words Ran Zhihan spoke to him, but in his dream, he saw a scene of them having a conversation.

In the dream...

”Yichen, why don’t you want to wake up? Is it really because I hurt you too much? Seeing you lying on the hospital bed so unaware, do you know how much it pains my heart?

If you truly love me, why aren’t you willing to open your eyes and look at me? If you really love me, can you bear to see me cry from heartbreak?” dream Ran Zhihan said to Zhang Yichen.

”Zhihan, listen to my explanation, it’s not like that. I also want to open my eyes to see you. I want to open my eyes to see the woman I cherish the most and see if she is taking care of me. But my eyes feel so heavy, as if there’s no way to open them. Please don’t blame me. It’s not that I don’t want to see you, but I am powerless, my dear!”

”Don’t say things like you’re powerless. If you really want to open your eyes to see me, then you must find a way to open them. I’ve been saying so much heartfelt words beside your bed, yet you never opened your eyes to see me. That only shows that your heart doesn’t love me. Since you don’t love me, why do you still forcefully keep me by your side?

Do you know how much I love you? I love you even to the bones. For you, I would give up my life, and yet you don’t want to open your eyes to see me. You dare to say you love me? Is this how you express your love for me? If you really love me, open your eyes right now and see if I’m always by your side, see if this woman, who has hurt you in the past, remains by your side...”

”Didn’t I just say, it’s not that I don’t want to open my eyes to see you, but my eyes just can’t open. As soon as I try, it feels like a mountain pressing on my eyelids. No matter how much effort I put in, I can’t open my eyes. I want to open my eyes to see you. I want to reach out and touch you. Don’t you know how important you are in my heart? For you, I would also give up my life. But why do you treat me like this?

I begged you to stay by my side, begged for you to spend your life with me. But what about you? You heartlessly chose to abandon me and leave alone. If it weren’t for you, how would I end up lying in this hospital bed? Seeing me like this, shouldn’t you be happy? Because now you can leave freely, and no one will force you to stay by my side. No one will force you to do anything. Isn’t this something that should make you happy?

Why did you come back to my side? Do you intend to hurt me again?”

”Don’t say that. I never intended to hurt you. In my heart, you are more important than anyone else. That day, you begged me to stay by your side, but I cruelly refused you, not for any other reason than my fear that higher society would criticize and judge you. I didn’t want my status as a civilian-born daughter to cast a shadow over your future prospects. Even though I have completed my studies and returned, I still can’t fit into high society. I don’t even understand what life in high society is like. Yet during my years studying in the United States, I discovered that many children from high society and families like ours are worlds apart. That gap often leads to a lot of judgment from others. In your heart, you should understand it’s not that I don’t love you, but that I’m unsure how to continue this journey with you. Every moment with you is filled with joy, a genuine smile from my heart, a smile I rarely use. But with you, I smile almost every day. My heart is bright and sunny because whenever I see you, I feel like there’s a Prince by my side protecting me. Whenever I see you by my side, I feel an incredible sense of security. Even if you just glance at me, it fills my heart with joy. But many times, I have to make cruel decisions, because if I don’t, it won’t just hurt you and me but also more people. Perhaps you found it hard to accept my decision back then. I must admit, when I made that decision, my heart ached deeply, you know?

I wished so much to hold you and cry, and hoped you would beg me not to leave. But I forced myself to suppress my reluctance and cruelly pushed you away. I know you still resent me in your heart, but I hope you can see it from my perspective. If you were me, you might make the same choice because you are as kind as I am, unwilling to let your loved one suffer the slightest harm. There are many things I don’t know how to explain to you, but I hope you can trust me a little more. Believe that my love for you has never changed.”

”Is everything you said true? Have you truly always loved me in your heart? But I’m afraid one day you’ll fall in love with someone else and choose to break up with me. That kind of pain is heavy for me, and it’s heart-wrenching. Sometimes I’m just like this—I can’t tolerate any grains of sand in my eyes. I just don’t want the one I love to betray me, you know?

I just want the person I love to be by my side, and that’s enough. I don’t ask for sacrifices or contributions from them. I just hope they always see me as their most beloved and stay by my side. My demands aren’t many, and I’m not greedy. My request is simple: to walk hand in hand with the one I love for life, and that’s enough. I don’t care if I have a son or daughter in this life.

That doesn’t matter to me. I just want the woman I love to accompany me for life, to see her at all times, without saying anything harsh to me for any reason. Rest assured, I will wake up, but the time for waking up hasn’t come yet. When the day arrives where I can wake up, I will certainly do so. I truly hope that when I open my eyes, the first person I see is you, not anyone else. If the first person I see is you, then I hope you will stay with me forever and never speak of separation...”

Who is singing and playing, yearning for and longing in the distance? It’s unknown if it’s a blessing, yet we still can’t let go!