My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2276: Chapter 2109: Strength

All gains and all sacrifices are worth the same; no one loses or gains something for no reason.

Zhang Ni knew his great-grandfather and his own parents were very sad, but he had no idea what to do. He only hoped his family could happily stay by his side, watching him grow up carefree and joyful. For a child like him, that was already enough. He was just a kid; he didn’t scheme like adults, and he didn’t have so many extravagant desires and pursuits. All he wanted was that his family’s love for him would never change. But for their family, this seemed so, so hard. Every person had different pursuits, all thinking about how to leave this place, never once considering how the ones who needed them would feel, how much it would hurt inside.

When he stood outside the door and heard Old Master Zhang talking, he knew just how heartbroken his great-grandfather was. Yet he had no idea how to comfort him. Maybe all of this was just like his mom and dad once said—there was no way around it. Many times you clearly want to do something, but you just don’t have the strength or the means. Precisely because of that, the way so many things end up developing leaves everyone disappointed. He only hoped his whole family could live happily by his side, but that was really, really hard. He had never once gotten that kind of outcome. They were always that selfish and self-centered. But he couldn’t become like his parents, couldn’t become like his grandparents. His mom and dad had so much helplessness of their own; his grandparents’ hearts were truly ruthless. So why should he turn himself into one of them? Wouldn’t that just make those relatives who care about him even sadder? There were so many things he wanted to do, but he simply didn’t have the ability, and that was exactly what made the people who loved him so heartbroken while he was powerless to help. That feeling of wanting to comfort those who’ve been hurt but not knowing how to speak—how unbearable that was. But what could he do? Could he just give up like that? Impossible. If he gave up on them so easily, what right would he have to call himself his grandfather’s grandson, what right would he have to call himself a descendant of the Zhang Family? Generation after generation, every one of them had lived clean and upright, and if the Zhang Family’s reputation were ruined because he was a coward afraid of trouble, then even if he fell into the eighteenth level of hell, he would accept it without regret.

”Yichen, Zhihan, do you know? Back when your mom and dad cruelly abandoned our whole family, my heart was so tangled, so tormented. I never once imagined my own biological son would do something like that. I am his flesh-and-blood father. His mother died very early when he was little; I was the one who carefully, painstakingly brought him up. But in the end I realized that no matter how I treated him, in his heart I never existed as a father. What I wanted actually wasn’t much. Maybe you think all my desires have already turned into pure wishful thinking, but was I really wrong? I just wanted him to stay by my side, to let me enjoy some peace in my old age, to let me taste the happiness of having children around my knees. But in the end, not even a little of that came true. They are always so heartless, always abandoning me again and again, hurting me again and again. Does their heart really not ache? I am human too, I have a soul, I have feelings. So why, when they do these things, do they always hurt me so recklessly, without caring about the consequences? After wounding me like that, can they really feel happy, feel joyful inside? I am their elder; is this really how they should treat an elder? Are they really not afraid of retribution? What I want is only this tiny little bit, and even this little bit of desire has turned into a distant, hopeless fantasy...”

”Grandpa, don’t say that. No matter where my dad and mom are, you still have me, you still have my wife, and you have my son. The three of us are here to stay by your side. I’ll ask my parents if they’ll come back home, but we will make sure you can enjoy the happiness of children and grandchildren around you. As long as in your heart you don’t keep missing them the way you used to, you’ll be able to truly feel happy. But I also know: as parents, how could you not miss your own children? As an elder, you can’t possibly forget my dad, you can’t possibly forget my mom. It’s exactly because of that that your heart feels so tangled and pained—because the people you care about most have hurt you, and you can’t accept that such a fact exists in your own life. Don’t keep yearning for them like before. They don’t have us in their hearts at all, so we should learn to forget them too. If they want to wander out there, drifting around for a few days, then just let them go. The past is like clouds drifting by; once it’s gone, it’s gone. No matter how much we yearn for them, they’ll never come back to us. So why do we have to tear ourselves apart, covered in wounds, continuing to remember them? Their hearts left us long ago; why do we keep giving them chances to hurt us again and again, while we ourselves never learn how to protect ourselves?”

Old Master Zhang knew his grandson was making sense. He understood these truths, but he just couldn’t make things become the way he imagined. Inside, he had no idea what to do. To truly forget his own flesh-and-blood son—that was impossible. Back then he had poured so much effort into raising his son, just as he now poured himself into raising his grandson. That kind of bond isn’t something you can just erase. But his son had already gone so far astray—what could he do? Was he really supposed to drive him out of the Zhang Family? If he did that, his heart would ache with reluctance. That was a descendant of the Zhang Family—how could he just be kicked out like that?

”You’re a sensible child, and your son is the same. But none of you can truly understand the bitterness in all this; no one can fully feel that kind of heartache. It’s not something a few words can express. That sorrow is a pain that comes from the depths of the soul. You’ll never be able to understand what it’s like when the son you’ve worked so hard to raise turns out to be so ungrateful. Can you really imagine that kind of pain in my heart?”

Zhang Yichen understood that pain; if you haven’t gone through it yourself, you simply can’t know what it tastes like.

A strong life is won and guarded by yourself!