My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2275: Chapter 2108: So Difficult

Life is hard. It’s not something you can just fix casually.

”I’m not being unreasonable. Everything I’m saying is the truth. You were my wife to begin with—just because we’re divorced now, I’m not allowed to call you my wife anymore? From what you just said, it sounds like as long as there are people around, I can’t call you my wife, but when it’s just the two of us, then I can still call you my wife, right?” Zhang Zhentian said, refusing to give up.

”That’s not what I meant. Whether there are people around or not, from now on you’re not allowed to call me your wife, because we no longer have any marital relationship. Since there is no marital relationship, then legally we are not husband and wife. If we’re not husband and wife, you can’t use that word to address me. That will only make others misunderstand, you know? Back then, the one who was ruthless enough to choose divorce was you. You were the one who kicked me away from your side. You were the one who stopped seeing me as your wife. You were the one who personally buried the more than ten years of marital bond between us. Since that’s the case, why bother regretting the decision you made back then now? You have to pay the price for what you did; you have to bear all the consequences that came with that decision. We all walk the roads we chose ourselves. Back then you chose the road of divorcing me, so now you don’t get to regret it. If you were going to regret it now, then you shouldn’t have chosen this road to hurt me in the first place. You hurt me so completely—what right do you have now to say these things to me? Don’t you feel that the things you’re saying to me now are incredibly hypocritical?”

”Then what do you want me to do? Do you want me to kneel down and beg you to come back to me? These past few years, I’ve been jolted awake by nightmares all the time. Every time, in the dream I see us walking out of the Civil Affairs Bureau. Do you know? Every time I wake up from that dream, there are tears at the corners of my eyes, because I can’t bear to lose you. I personally pushed the woman I love away from my side. I personally destroyed the marriage I worked hard to maintain for more than ten years. Do you think my heart has really been fine? Just because I don’t say it doesn’t mean I’m not torn up inside!”

”And do you think saying all this to me now still means anything? What’s done is done. Can you turn back time and go back to a few years ago? If you could make time flow backwards and return to those years, then I could promise you I wouldn’t divorce you. But do you have that ability? You don’t. So let’s not talk about the past anymore. Let’s both just live our lives peacefully. I don’t want my son to suffer any more harm because of our relationship. I know our divorce was a blow to my son. He couldn’t really accept it. Even though these ten-plus years I’ve never given him any motherly love, in his heart he’s always treated me like his biological mother. I cannot let him be hurt again because of our relationship. That would only make me hate myself even more. We’re different—you and I think completely differently. All you think about is your own interests. But now what I think about is my son, my future daughter-in-law, and my future grandchild. So I hope that from now on, we don’t contact each other anymore!”

Zhang Zhentian really hadn’t expected Xia Jing to say such things to him. Did the more than ten years of marriage really mean so little in Xia Jing’s heart?

”I really want to ask you—do the ten-plus years of marriage between us really mean so little in your heart? How can you be so cold and heartless, just leave because you say you’re leaving? Where does that put me? What am I in your eyes?”

”We’re strangers now, so why bother asking where I place you? You have no position at all in my heart now. In my heart, there’s only my son and my daughter-in-law. As for you, on the day you ruthlessly divorced me, I had already erased you from my heart. You stopped being the person I loved most. We went through so much, and in the end we still couldn’t escape fate’s arrangement and ended up divorced. That’s not just about you and me; it’s also an outcome that was already destined. Our personalities were incompatible from the start, yet we still insisted on being together. Two people whose personalities don’t match can’t last long. What’s more, during the time we were married, you lost your trust in me. A marriage without trust also can’t last.”

”If there’s no trust, we can build it again. If we’ve lost the marital feelings, we can still keep creating feelings between us. What exactly do you want me to do for you to be willing to come back to me? Am I really that unimportant in your heart? Is there really no place for me in your heart anymore?”

”That’s right. In my heart, you no longer have a place. No matter what you do now, I won’t feel distressed for you. Even if you fall off a thousand-foot cliff, I won’t panic. When the feelings are gone, they’re gone. No matter what you become now, no matter what consequences you bear, what price you pay, I won’t feel any discomfort, because that is the retribution you deserve. It’s the result you should bear for ruthlessly kicking me away back then. Through our divorce, I understood a crucial truth: if there is no trust between two people, then they absolutely shouldn’t be together, because a marriage without trust will never be happy. It’s like a couple—if there’s no trust between them, they’ll live every day steeped in suspicion of each other. Think about it: it’s not easy for two people to finally be together, but every day they’re constantly guessing what the other is doing, who they’re with, what they did today, where they went to have fun. Don’t you think that’s exhausting? And it’s not just one person—both people are exhausted! Back when you heartlessly brought up divorce, my heart hurt so much, I felt completely shattered, I was practically at the point of wanting to die. But in the end I realized I’m not someone who can’t live without you. Without you, I can still live perfectly well. I can still live happily, because I still have my son, my daughter-in-law, and my future grandchild. But you—do you feel that without me, it’s the same for you? Our marriage ending up like this, we can’t blame anybody else. If we have to blame someone, we can only blame the fact that there was too little trust between us. You stopped trusting me long ago, you were always suspicious of me, always thinking every lie I told was for some ulterior motive. But you never knew what the biggest purpose behind those lies was. Even now you still don’t understand, so there’s no need for me to tell you anymore. I just hope that from now on you don’t call me that in front of outsiders, and I don’t want you to keep tangling with me like this. Let our past life become the most beautiful memory in both our minds.”

It was just that I’d never imagined it would be so hard!