My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1635: Chapter 1429: Homeward Journey

”Grandpa, maybe we should all live our lives quickly. None of us have had it easy; you should have your own path to follow.”

He didn’t know how it all began, but these days and nights he was constantly thinking about his first love. He didn’t know what he should do to forget these memories. Whenever he closed his eyes, his mind was filled with images of past bliss and happiness. Those pure, bright smiles continually brought back memories, making him wonder if he was possessed. He desired nothing more than for everything to return to how it originally was. But is it really possible to go back? Again and again, the hurt and unbearable pain had sealed his fate in failure. He could only survive feebly on his own, knowing full well his existence in this world would be nothing but sorrowful.

For the first time, he felt that his life was truly sad, a despair he’d never felt before. It sprang from deep within, without any joy. Her despair overshadowed all of his happiness, holding onto the hope that one day he could return to the beginning. But can things really be that way? The past has already become the past. How could he turn the tide and make everything return to its original state? Is it necessary to risk one’s life to restore things to their original form? Must he completely disappear from this world for everything to return to how it was?

He didn’t understand, nor did he want to understand now. He only knew he lived each day in excruciating pain, like struggling in a deep abyss. Relentlessly, he sought a lifeline but found the lifeline had long abandoned him. The sun in her world had already forsaken him completely, leaving him forever trapped in darkness. In such endless agony, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could endure. Maybe a day, maybe a month, maybe a year—or perhaps he could hold on for just a second before falling apart entirely.

He didn’t understand. Could it be that he was too greedy, leading everyone in the world to retaliate against him? Is this why he must live his life in a pit of suffering, unable ever to escape? So, Heaven chooses to hurt him repeatedly in such a cruel manner, forcing him to the brink, leaving him with no hope of ever rising again, causing him to lose the man who loved him the most in this life. What must he do for Heaven to show mercy to him? Must he sever all financial paths, take his own life, or even lose all his limbs?

Zhang Yichen could see how despairing his mother was. He could empathize with the profound pain his mother endured. He had no way to comfort her except to silently stand by and watch his mother lost in thought, knowing what was on her mind. To his mother, this was the deepest wound she couldn’t forget in her lifetime. No matter how much time passed, there was no way to erase the harm she’d suffered nor the pain it had caused.

”Mom, is it true you really don’t want to live in this world anymore? You still have me, your son, and our whole family. We all love you; we are your kin. How can you be so stubborn about things and people from the past? Maybe my words will be hurting, but I have no way to make you understand; everyone just wants to live well. I desperately want my mother by my side. It may seem simple to you, but it’s profoundly difficult for me. For over twenty years, I haven’t felt a mother’s love. I couldn’t tell you what paternal love feels like, nor do I know the warmth of maternal affection. All I’ve ever been is a child abandoned by my parents.”

”Child, maybe you don’t understand these things now. But do you know? When I truly lost him, only then did I realize how wrong I’d been. I don’t understand what price I must pay to get him back, only knowing the harm I caused him can’t ever be undone. Maybe I truly did walk a mistaken path. It wasn’t until his departure that I discovered how deeply I loved him. It was through his departure that I learned a profound lesson: storms cannot wash away heart wounds, time does not erase emotional scars, never speak of permanence lightly, you realize the desolation only in parting!”

Who among you can understand the multifaceted pain my heart has suffered over the years? Each moment of my life is unbearable. I don’t want much—only for him to stay by my side. I’m willing to give up my whole life to keep him by me. If he could return to see me one last time, I’d willingly die in his arms. I could forgo everything, even my most precious life. I’d lose all worldly possessions, but he’s the exception—his loss is something I cannot endure. I’ve become obsessed with my love for him, verging on madness. I don’t know what to do to make everything as beautiful as it once was!”

”Child, as your father, I have no more to say. I understand the pain in your heart. Each person has a past, and everyone grieves over past matters. But I hope you understand: now you are someone’s wife and mother. Why continue dwelling on past matters? No matter what you do, you can’t go back. Do you truly want to forsake everything you have for that one person from before? You have your family here, your kin, your son. Can you truly be so heartless? You’ve already sacrificed so much; you’ve deprived your son of too much motherly love. Are you willing to once again have him live without his mother’s love? How can you be so cruel? What’s so hard about caring a little more for your child? Regardless of age, he’s still your son. He hopes for more care, less harm from his mother. Every action you take chills others’ hearts. Now, speaking this way, aren’t you afraid everyone will feel disappointed in you?”

”Dad, at this point, I’m no longer concerned about disappointing others. I can say clearly: living each day in despair is my reality. My entire life is steeped in sorrow, so how can I find happiness? Losing him means losing my greatest joy, my greatest happiness. Now I’m nothing—nothing but a living dead.”

We’ve all experienced sorrow, and as we progress, we should think about which path we truly wish to walk...