My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1628: Chapter 1422: Interest

Zhang Yichen saw his biological mother becoming so anxious every day, and felt a bit sorry for her. No matter how much harm his mother had done to him, his mother always loved him. There isn’t a mother in the world who doesn’t love her own child. She just chose the wrong path and now that she regrets it, why should he cling to the past and make everyone live in pain and unease, letting everyone forever struggle in pain? If it really were like this, wouldn’t he also lose his inherently kind heart? He never wanted these things to happen in his family because everyone thinks differently.

”Grandpa, there’s no need to dig into some things as we did before. As long as mom can come back, as long as we can reunite as a family, as long as everyone can live happily, what harm is there in it? Let the past be completely washed away with time. Maybe time is truly a healing medicine, to mend the wounds in everyone’s hearts.

Our family has finally reunited with great difficulty, so why let those unhappy things destroy our chance at happiness? We’ve paid too much, with nobody to bear the heavy price for us. It’s always ourselves who suffer each time. We should learn to look forward, forget the unpleasant things of the past, let my mom and dad return home, let them forever be by each other’s side, isn’t it better for our family to return to the happy life we had before?”

Old Master Zhang felt that his grandson made sense. He also thought that he shouldn’t delve into some things like before. If he held onto past matters, no one in this lifetime could truly live happily. Perhaps it was time to open his heart as he used to, to treat everyone around him well. Why let them suffer from his actions again and again? Everyone has a difficult time; no one lives easily and everyone struggles in pain.

”Maybe you’re right. Perhaps I’ve held onto too many things. Maybe I should really let go of those unhappy things from before and seriously reflect on whether what I’m doing is wrong. It’s time for me to let go, to stop controlling so many things, let their family be good together. I will no longer cling to past things, but that doesn’t mean I can truly forget. Everyone has their own little secrets, I understand that, but repeatedly disregarding one’s husband, I absolutely won’t tolerate that, after all, he’s still my own son!”

”Maybe you all think you can forget past things, but I can’t. Maybe you all believe time is a remedy to forget all the inner trauma you’ve suffered, but time actually has no effect. It can’t change the fact that you’ve been hurt, instead, it repeatedly adds to your inner pain. Time is actually the most terrifying killer. It drags you into despair again and again, leaving you no chance of recovery in this lifetime. You can only struggle in pain, never given a chance to rise because time knows clearly that if you rise, it’ll have no chance to suppress you!

Perhaps I shouldn’t blame the heavens for being unfair to me because the heavens are fair. They give you something, as well they take away something you love the most. Yet I will never be grateful to heaven, because the pain it has caused me cannot be erased in this lifetime. Again and again, I reflect on every path I chose. My only regret is losing her. I’ve never regretted any decision; my greatest regret is that I made wrong choices and lost it. This is the greatest pain in my life. This pain can’t be forgotten because it’s etched into my heart. I lost the person I loved the most because of my mistakes, my wrong choices, and there’s no way to make up for any of the mistakes I’ve made in the past!

No matter if I spend this life in happiness or the abyss of pain, for me, it doesn’t matter. Again and again, I wake up from nightmares. Do you know? What kind of nightmare is that? Again and again, I dream of him looking at my hands, leaving me alone. Who can understand the pain in my heart? When I wake from the nightmare, I find no one beside me to help. I found my entire world contained only me, and alone I stayed in a dark world, a world so dark you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. Who can understand that kind of pain? Maybe you don’t understand what kind of hurt that is, and I can’t explain what kind of pain it is. I can only rely on my perseverance to endure it because I can’t fall. I must use all my time to think about him, to accept the punishment from heaven. I can only let these things torment me permanently, for this means I shall never forget how wrong my actions were, I have hurt a person who loved me so much!”

Zhang Yichen decided not to say anything more. He knew his mother was now deeply entangled in her situation, helplessly trapped. The nightmares repeatedly turned his mother into someone fearsome. His mother had been tortured by pain beyond recognition, and he understood how much agony his mother had gone through all these years. He would no longer resent his mother like he did before because each day of his mother’s life was worse than death: living with someone she didn’t love, while losing the man she loved the most. What kind of mental torture is that? How had she managed to survive all these years with such perseverance to make it this far? Should he truly hold a grudge against her like before, allowing her no comfort for the rest of her life?

”It’s getting late, let’s not talk about these things anymore. Everyone should go back to their rooms and rest early...”