My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1629: Chapter 1423: Milk Pairing?

Xia Jing knows that the things she’s doing now are things her husband might never be able to understand or forgive for the rest of his life.

I’ve been way too outrageous in my life, repeatedly hurting my husband’s trust in me, and damaging all my loved ones’ affection toward me.

Sometimes, it’s not that I can’t understand these things; if certain things were to happen to me, who knows, I might do something even more outrageous. But I’ve repeatedly pushed all the pain onto others. Why am I so selfish? Can’t I learn to appreciate the psychological pressure others have to bear? Why is everything I do always so self-serving? If I could learn to look forward and consider what kind of pressure others are enduring, then wouldn’t I avoid causing such heartbreak over and over again, missing opportunities and making mistakes repeatedly, until everyone can see what I’ve become? What exactly should I do to make everything return to what it used to be? Do I really have to let this all step by step end in total disaster? Must I truly let Heaven continuously torment me with suffering?

Zhang Zhentian was truly angry when he heard his wife reveal those matters. He never imagined that the wife he loved dearly was thinking about another man in her heart. How unfair is it for him? For this woman in front of him, he could forsake everything, even disregarding his family’s and the clan’s reputation, but the legacy his father painstakingly built over a hundred years, he could just toss aside for his wife. So why did she ultimately have to tell him such a cruel truth?

He felt that even if his wife didn’t love him, there was no need to tell him these things. Even if she kept him in the dark his whole life, he could at least happily enjoy this brief happy and blissful life. Why make him so miserable? Why push him into the abyss of agony again and again? In his wife’s eyes, what did she really take him for?

”Xia Jing, I don’t want to say anything to you now. I only want to ask you one question: in your heart, am I better, or is your first love boyfriend better? I hope at this moment, you tell me the truth about everything, don’t hide anything from me. Otherwise, I truly have no way to forgive you for the rest of my life. You know, some things are major taboos for men. No man can tolerate his wife’s heart longing for another person, especially someone she hasn’t forgotten for so many years. If you reveal the truth, I might choose to never deal with you again for the rest of my life. I might also choose to end our marriage. I hope you think carefully.”

Xia Jing sighed. She knew her husband was leaving her a way out, giving himself a platform. He didn’t believe every word she said because he feared everything was true. Such a fact was simply too big of a blow for him, that his beloved wife was entirely thinking about another man. How could he, as her husband, bear this? If word got out, how would others perceive him? Perhaps she never considered her husband’s feelings at all. Why is she really so selfish? Can she really not learn to consider what others might go through in life due to her actions?

”Zhentian, I’m sorry; I must admit that I really love my first love boyfriend very, very much. No matter where or when, he is the most significant person in my heart, and my love for him will never change even a little bit.

I think now it’s come to this point; I have no reason to deceive you further. If I continued to deceive you, it would just be irresponsible to you. I don’t want our future to become so ugly. I always thought I could live joyfully; I always imagined growing up carefree under your protection, but I forgot you are people too; you gave me all your everything, but in the end, I could only hurt you. My heart is painfully conflicted, but I have no way out. The more I face this situation, the more I know some things are destined endings, regardless of what I want to change, there’s no way to solve them.

Since I can now honestly tell you everything openly, it proves I’ve given up any hope of moving forward with you. If you choose to divorce me, I won’t complain at all. These things I’ve buried deeply in my heart; I’ve watched you facing everything forsaking all for me time and again, and my heart hurts terribly. I’m not heartless; I am moved and guilty when I see all you’ve sacrificed for me, because being with you, I’m still thinking about someone else. It’s truly unfair to you, and you can’t accept such a thing happening to you. Many times, I really am selfish, but I have no choice. What I want is only the happiness deep within my heart, forgetting that you also need my greatest care. You are my husband, but many times, I only wanted you to understand me, forgetting that you also need my understanding. Time and again, I see how much you want to go home, but because of me, you stay outside with me over and over; you never go back. Did you think I had no feelings at all? Seeing your eager eyes to return home yet having to stay because of me, and witnessing your disappointed, forlorn expression, my heart is truly tangled. I don’t know what decision I should make that’s best for you. Everything I do ultimately hurts those who love me most; I truly do not understand what kind of meaning there is for me in this world.”

”I’m not afraid to tell you, hearing your words makes me truly furious!”