My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2136: Chapter 1969: Yes or No

How many times have I wanted to know everything, yet in the end, I never found the answer? Did I ever give up? No, perhaps deep down this is what I truly want.

In fact, Zhang Zhentian understands very well that if he misses this opportunity, he might completely lose the woman he loves most. However, he has no way to face everything, and he has no reason to salvage it.

All of this boils down to my own mistakes. In the end, I hurt the woman I love most, and personally abandoned her.

He is fully aware that once certain mistakes occur, there is no chance to make amends. Moreover, once some mistakes become a certainty, no one will allow them to continue. He knows this well, and that’s why the pain in his heart is even greater. Although his mistakes might not be the main cause, he has to take responsibility for all errors, because he wishes his wife to see him differently, he must show the responsibility a man should have.

”Since we’ve reached this point, we shouldn’t say anything else. Let’s say one last farewell peacefully!”

In truth, you are still a good man; you just went down the wrong path. Everything you’ve done has made me reflect on whether being with you is right or wrong. You never considered what attitude you should have towards our lives together. You only thought about using your authority and desires to control me without considering what I truly want, or if you could provide it.

I hope you remember that love is mutual, not one person selflessly giving while the other constantly waiting for the other’s devotion. Such love is not true love; it is merely the relationship between a creditor and a debtor. I hope, one day, you will understand my painstaking intentions.

I must admit, during these years with you, my heart has often been truly in pain. You’ve never understood what I want, and the pressure and harm you’ve given me never cease. I have always comforted myself that if one day you could awaken and treat me well, giving me everything I dream of, then I would stay by your side for a lifetime, no matter how many grievances I might suffer. Yet, only now do I realize it’s too late for that awakening. I lack the patience to wait for that day. I am impulsive; I cannot silently wait for someone else’s realization repeatedly like others do for their families. What I want is simply to quickly achieve my dreams and everything I desire. Perhaps due to this situation, your heart will be deeply hurt; whether you hate me or not, I don’t care. After all, this is my mistake, I’ve wounded you, harmed the genuine love between us. There’s no way to restore this relationship. I also hope you don’t use any means to stop me from leaving. Since things are said so clearly, maybe letting me leave to venture on my own, even if it’s far away, would be good. Don’t use your so-called love to tie me by your side...”

”Since you have decided to leave, anything I say won’t make you stay. So why should I beg you relentlessly, only to have my dignity trampled underfoot once more? I want to be happy, to be a man who is upright and responsible. Perhaps in your eyes, I’ll never have such a day. But I want you to believe that the heavens favor those who strive earnestly. As long as I aim to be a responsible man, whatever it takes, I can achieve my dreams, proving my worth, so you won’t think of abandoning me for any reason.”

Rest assured, this situation is not solely your fault; how could I choose to hate you? In my heart, you’re forever the woman I cherish most. I will only consider you my longing, burying you in my heart, recalling our paths and times shared, days of sharing joys and sorrows together. Those days will never return. Since you’ve decided to leave, no matter what I say, you won’t come back to me. So, I wish to retain my final dignity. If a man doesn’t even have this, how can he love the woman he loves most?

Everything I did may have once made you look down on me, but I hope you understand that everything in the past was just genuine love for you, which led me to do things that hurt you. It’s only now that I’ve realized, no matter how much I loved you, in the end, I hurt you. This damage can’t be erased with apologies on my lips; it will be forever buried in your heart. Has your heart also become fearful due to the harm I’ve caused?

I hope we can make a three-year promise to each other. If, three years later, you find me entirely different from who I was before, if by then you think I have become a man of responsibility, courage, and strength, then I hope you will give me another chance, return to me, and let us create our world together, knowing and keeping each other company forever.”

”If by then you’ve really changed entirely from who you once were, I am willing to give you another chance, and give myself another chance too, allowing us to continue the joyful days we once had, no longer doubting each other due to whatever happens, but truly trusting that everything we do is best for ourselves.”

Zhang Zhentian knows this is the biggest concession Xia Jing can make.

Given that, how do I have the right to continue pressuring her, demanding another chance for mistakes made because of me? Therefore, the only choice is to agree to this three-year promise, changing myself completely within three years, so my beloved woman willingly returns to me, not because of my repeated force, but to share a life with me.

”Since you’ve agreed, please let us fully remember this three-year promise, not allow anything to ruin it. This is a promise to each of us...”

I once made a three-year promise with him; now a ten-year promise, yet time flies by, soon it will arrive, and he still hasn’t appeared by my side.