My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2131: Chapter 1964: Like?

Back in school, when the snow stopped, my longing surged like a tide. Perhaps I should have told you not to be nostalgic, not to be lenient with me, as it might sway my heart.

Xia Jing would never believe that her husband considered marrying her a stroke of luck. Maybe the words he speaks now are ones he will slowly realize are lies he’s using to deceive himself.

For Zhang Zhentian, the whole world has already collapsed. All she wanted was to return to her father’s side, but she destroyed it all with her own hands. How could she have the right or reason to say this now? Her family is in such disarray because of her own doing, and she often regrets why, despite her efforts, this was the outcome. What she wanted was really not much, but it seems she can never get what she desires. Perhaps the things she longs for the most are forever out of reach.

”I hope you never again tell me such deceitful lies. Do you know? Not a single word you said today is something I believe, because I feel everything you say is just to deceive me. You’ve lied too much in the past, causing me to lose faith in you. Since there’s no trust between us anymore, what meaning do we find in being together, when it only brings greater harm to both of us?

In the past, I could sacrifice everything for you without hesitation, but now I can’t anymore. When you abandoned me, it proved that I have to change myself, no longer doing everything foolishly for you. From your perspective, I never get any return. What you desire is merely the feeling of happiness, but you don’t understand the kind of happiness I seek. Perhaps what happiness means to me doesn’t feel like happiness to you.

Sometimes, when we think about it, our beliefs are really too different. What I love, you don’t; what I want to protect, you don’t care for. What I value, you always look down on. With such differences in beliefs, how can we continue to live together? Letting go is the best ending for both of us. If we both let go, then there might still be a chance for a happy life. If we cling to these things forever, we’ll only destroy each other’s happiness.”

”Every word I said to you today is not a lie. I just want to be with you honestly. Being with you is the greatest blessing of my life, this is the truth. It’s my heartfelt feeling when I speak to you, yet you chose to doubt me. You don’t believe me because you think every word I say is a lie. At the moment you didn’t consider believing me. Do you know how much this hurts inside? What I want is really not much, just to be by your side!

You always think every word I say is a lie meant to deceive you back to my side. In your eyes, am I really that worthless? Am I really a person who will resort to lying just to achieve my goals? Ask yourself honestly, all these years with you, have I ever done anything that betrayed you? No matter how willful you were, I always treated you as my most beloved. But you, did you ever truly treat me sincerely? Did you really want to be with me for a lifetime?

I don’t know why you always say these lies to deceive me again and again. In your eyes, doesn’t our relationship even withstand these lies? If your heart really trusted me, you wouldn’t weave one lie after another to deceive me. These lies prove that your heart chooses not to trust me. A marriage without trust is not what I cherish. Gradually, I realize that no matter what, I hope you can be by my side. All I want is for you to be here with me, stay with me forever!

Xia Jing sighed. He didn’t know how to say this. He knew every choice he made was hard for anyone to accept, but this man in front of him has given up so much for her. Lately, what right does he have to ask anything more of him? Yet she always feels so greedy, wanting more from her beloved time and again, knowing he loves her so much. She’s made unforgivable mistakes over and over, thinking she can rely on his love. But, in the end, can he really love her unconditionally and do everything for her?

Deep down, she knows her husband loves her so much, even more than he loves himself. But she can’t turn back, because once this path is chosen, turning back means all is lost. She doesn’t want others to laugh at her; she doesn’t want others to say she’s a woman who can’t manage on her own. She wants everyone to see clearly that she can live without her husband, proving she’s the strongest woman in the world. She wants all women to know that a woman doesn’t necessarily have to live with her husband and that she can achieve her own sky as long as she has the ability.

”Please stop telling me those deceitful lies to trick me. From today on, we will cut off all ties. I will not contact you again, because contacting you only brings back the painful memories in my heart over and over. That pain cannot be forgotten in a few words. The hurt you’ve caused me cannot be so easily erased by a few kind words. You should first acknowledge what you’ve done, you know it a hundred times clearer. Things done cannot be forgotten at will; clear things can’t be erased easily!”

”I’ve made myself clear today, yet you still want to sever all ties with me? In your eyes, do you really not want to live with me? Is living with me really more painful than death for you? Can you not put aside your pride, abandon your so-called dignity, and live with me once more, giving us a chance? Why do we have to walk a path from which there’s no return?”

Looking at those wounds, do you still need them healed?

I always thought none of this would hurt, thinking I was as strong as steel, but in reality, I am still a vulnerable woman.