My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2101: Chapter 1934: On My Mind

No matter where I go, I can’t escape my memories. I know it’s hurting me, but I still can’t give it up.

Zhang Yichen watched his wife as she hesitated. He knew her heart was troubled too. Why should he have to humble himself and beg his wife for a child? He just wanted another child to accompany their son, to grow up healthy and happy. Even if one day he leaves this world, maybe the outcome will be different.

”Honey, haven’t you forgiven me yet? I know the things I’ve done may be hard for you to forgive, but please try to see it from my perspective. If you found out your husband had done something like that, it would be hard for you to accept it too, and you wouldn’t easily forgive him. Let’s switch roles for a moment. Just give me another chance. Let’s not make things awkward between us. Let’s give our son a sibling, so he has company on his path to growing up!”

”Dear, that’s not what I mean. Actually, I’ve already forgiven you. No matter how harsh your words were, no matter how you’ve insulted me, I’ve always wanted to grow old with you. You’ll always hold the most important place in my heart. I’m not agreeing to this because I don’t want a child right now. I’m unsure of the role I should play in having this child, given that Grandpa is still in the hospital, and our child is going through intense training, while unresolved issues linger between us. Do you think I should break the news of a pregnancy now and thus regain the family’s love and respect?”

Maybe you think I’m being melodramatic, but do you know what it means for a woman to be valued and loved by her family only because she’s pregnant? What’s the point of staying in this family under such circumstances?

I have no other thoughts. I simply wish to live a happy and peaceful life at home!

Dear, when I truly want a child, I’ll unwaveringly decide to have one with you, as the essence of our love. Right now, I’m uncertain whether your heart loves me or not, and if we have a child at this point, what place do you think it should have? After birth, what identity should he possess? He would be nothing more than a product of our arguments or a means to quell our anger.

To put it bluntly, he might not be the essence of love but merely a product of anger between us. If that’s the case, do you think the child will be happy once born? No parent wants to see their child start life without happiness and joy. I can’t bear it!

Plus, I’m really scared our child would have to endure the same fate as his brother after birth. I don’t want him to continue suffering this way, nor do I want my kids to undergo such painful training repeatedly. It’s exhausting. They’re my children. As a mother, I wish for their safety and peaceful lives. I’m a mother, not a Saint. I can’t find joy watching my children undergo such tough training!

I hope you understand my heartfelt concerns. I’m not heartless, nor do I not want to have children with you. But I really need some time to calm down and reflect on what steps we should take next. I want to choose a path where neither of us has to be passive. As a mother, I just want my kids to stop going through this painful training. That’s enough for me!”

Zhang Yichen knew very well how conflicted his wife’s heart was. As a father, he too didn’t want his children to experience the same hardships he had. He wanted them to grow up healthy under the care of both parents.

In his own childhood, he lacked parental love, but now his son has both parents by his side. Yet, why must he endure such grueling training? Is it just to prove to his parents that he’s an outstanding child?

Sometimes he couldn’t fathom what his son’s heart desires. Despite knowing there’s no outcome from this, he’s unwavering and ultimately only hurts himself.

”Zhihan, since you’ve said all that, I don’t have much else to say. My only choice is to respect your decision. I believe one day you’ll be willing to have another child with me, belonging to us. Right now, I just want you to live well, without worrying about these issues. Let bygones be bygones. Past events are like clouds; once they’re gone, don’t bring them up. It’s sufficient to live a stable and happy life together.”

”I know everything you’re doing is for the good of our family. I understand you don’t want our son to suffer either. I’ve already gone through one painful experience, and how could I bear letting my child suffer again? I’m a parent too, and I want my children to live carefree. The harm I once suffered, as a father, how could I wish for my children to endure again? That torturous pain remains unforgettable. Each step I took to today was paved with my own effort. I feel no guilt, and I don’t want my children to have good conditions still suffer. But it’s something the Zhang Family’s children must face. If you want to be an Upper-class Person, only then would no one trample you underfoot in this lifetime.

I believe you, too, don’t want to see your child’s dignity casually trampled by anyone. It’s an insult to the child and a degradation of a man’s dignity. No man can endure such humiliation. I believe our children choosing this path is the wisest choice!”

Over the past six years, many things have changed, but my feelings for you remain unchanged. I constantly miss you at every moment!