My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2114: Chapter 1947: Fantasies

Stop dwelling on everything in the past and slowly flipping through it like that. Maybe I really don’t know you well enough. You say your tears are always hovering on the verge of falling, but do you remember the umbrella I once held over you in the rain?

”What, do you all think she’s pleading for me or something? You really think that highly of her? Don’t you feel that she’s deliberately saying this, deliberately doing this just to put on a show for you? Don’t you think doing this is really unfair to me? Now your whole family is all standing on her side of the battle line. What am I to you then? Does this mean I’m out of the game? No matter what, I’m still someone of the Zhang Family, I’m still the wife who married into the Zhang Family in broad daylight with a red bridal sedan. What right do you have to treat me like this? Who is she? Right now she has no relationship with the Zhang Family at all. She and my son aren’t even married yet. What right does she have to do all this? Does such a thing make sense?” Xia Jing was dissatisfied that every single one of them had aligned themselves with Ran Zhihan’s camp. She didn’t want this to happen, she couldn’t accept it. She had always cherished her husband, yet one day her husband suddenly turned against her and refused to stand on her side. This was something she truly could not accept.

When Old Master Zhang heard these words from his daughter‑in‑law, he really didn’t want to say anything more. He couldn’t figure out why his daughter‑in‑law could be so unreasonable. It was clearly such a simple matter, why did she have to make it so troublesome? It was obviously something that should have been especially joyful, so why did it become so ugly in her eyes? His grandson’s relationship was so aboveboard and open, so why did it seem so unreasonable in her eyes? He really couldn’t understand why something everyone else could see clearly, his daughter‑in‑law just couldn’t. Why was it that when everyone else knew how a person should conduct themselves, his daughter‑in‑law alone didn’t know how to be a person at all, even to the point of losing her own conscience, each thing she did more and more excessive than the last? How was he supposed to explain this to Ran Zhihan’s parents? The blow Ran Zhihan took this time was truly vicious, not just a simple physical injury, but a wound carved into her heart as well. Ran Zhihan had never imagined that her future mother‑in‑law could strike such a ruthless blow at her parents. How was she supposed to get along with Zhang Yichen in the future? When they did things, why did they never once consider their own son’s feelings? Was it really that in their eyes they were that selfish? Could such selfish and self‑serving people really have a good outcome? He didn’t know, and he didn’t want to know. He only wanted to understand why his daughter‑in‑law had to keep doing these things over and over, why she had to keep hurting, again and again, the hearts of those who cared about her and loved her. Why did she have to chill the hearts of Zhang Zhentian, of Zhang Yichen, and even of him, a father, time after time?

Looking at his wife’s obstinate refusal to wake up, Zhang Zhentian was anxious on her behalf, yet he had no idea what to do. This was the most helpless moment since the day he was born. He felt his helplessness had never been this intense. He had weathered so many storms before, had even gone through life and death together with Xia Jing, yet why was it that to this day Xia Jing still didn’t understand his heart? He couldn’t understand why, in Xia Jing’s eyes, he was so insignificant, why she had to hurt him time and time again, hurt his father, hurt the son he loved most. That was the son he had owed over ten years to—over ten years of debt that could not be made up in a day or two, over ten years of emotional arrears that could not be replenished in a day or two. But why was there never such a thing as ”making up for it” in her world? Why, in her world, were there only her own interests, and she could never see other people’s efforts, could never see the hardship others had gone through to achieve their goals...

”Xia Jing, oh Xia Jing, I don’t know how many more times I have to say this to you, and I don’t know how else I’m supposed to say it. I’ve tried every way of speaking, every good word I could think of, but you just don’t understand what I mean. Do you have any idea what a huge price you’ll pay for doing this? Do you know what you’re going to lose by acting like this? In the end you’ll get nothing. Do you think you can achieve your goal this way? All you’re doing is making our son love her even more. I really don’t understand—she’s such a kind girl, how can you harden your heart to such an extent and hurt her like this? Is she really that insignificant and worthless in your heart? Is the only life that matters to you your own? Is her life not a life? Or should I put it this way: in your heart, the only thing you think of, the only thing you care about is your own interest. You think that as long as you’re happy, everyone else will be happy along with you, is that it? You think that whatever you believe, everyone else has to follow your beliefs step by step, tread in your footsteps, is that it? Do you know that what you’re doing is really too selfish? I never knew before that you had such a selfish side. I misjudged you all those years.”

”Zhentian, how can you say that to me? After all the time we’ve been together, don’t you know me? We’ve been together for so many years, do you really have no idea what I think in my heart? We’ve shared the same bed and pillow for over ten years, why can’t you understand what’s going on in my head? Why can’t you just, for once, stand in my shoes and think about things? I don’t want that much, I don’t long for wealth and glory. I only hope that my son can be filial, that my daughter‑in‑law can be the one I’ve always pictured in my heart, that my husband can cherish me, love me, respect me. But why is it so hard to get even that? You always say I take you for granted, then let me ask you this, in front of everyone: in your heart, what exactly do you, Zhang Zhentian, take me, Xia Jing, for? I’m a person too. I have my own thoughts, my own feelings. I also hope to receive love from my husband, my son, my own family. Don’t you desire these things yourself? You’re a man and even you crave these things, let alone me, a woman. Women are the most sensitive creatures; their intuition is really sharp. All these years, I’ve never once talked back to you. Whatever you said, I went along with. Of course, many times when I had opinions, you also gave in to me. But I’m begging you, can you give in to me just one more time today? I really, truly want our family to be happy and harmonious and gather together. But why is it so hard? Is this step really harder than reaching the heavens?”

Xia Jing’s heart grew more and more unbalanced. She couldn’t calm down. Whenever she thought that her husband, her son, even her own father, would say those kinds of things to her because of some girl who had nothing to do with them, her heart became even more unsettled. All she needed was her husband’s love, all she needed was her family’s concern for her. But wasn’t it because Old Master Zhang and Zhang Yichen hadn’t given her enough care and attention that things turned out this way? Could this really be blamed entirely on her? It couldn’t all be her responsibility. Everyone knows there’s no smoke without fire. If there was no cause, how could this matter have happened? Everyone thought all of this was because of Xia Jing, but had they ever once stood in Xia Jing’s shoes to think about it? Did they really wish for these things to happen to themselves? Were the things she longed for, the things she cared about, really so worthless?

If only I could take your lingering regret as a kind of comfort you’ve left for me!