My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2128: Chapter 1961: Free Time

If you have the time, I wish so much you could spend a winter with me. These words feel as biting as the chilly wind.

Regarding Xia Jing’s suggestion to remain friends, Zhang Zhentian could never accept it.

She couldn’t bear the thought that the woman she once loved most would become strangers with her after being lovers, married, and sharing a bed for over ten years, ultimately having to choose to be friends.

For Zhang Zheng, this outcome was undoubtedly the biggest blow. It only made him feel that as a man, he couldn’t even obtain the most basic thing — he couldn’t have the person he loved the most. He felt that living in this world had no meaning, only rendering him unable to bear the pain.

He secretly made up his mind; if he had to choose a path, then he would rather be strangers than friends. Being friends meant they never deeply loved each other. Having loved deeply, how could they, after going through such storms, choose to be mundane friends? This could only mean there was never real love.

”If you insist on being friends with me, then it’s best we don’t even become friends. Being strangers is better, isn’t it? You don’t interfere with me, I don’t interfere with your weddings and funerals — each goes their own way. Isn’t this the outcome you want?”

Once, I hurt you deeply, so deeply, and I have received all the punishment myself. But is this far from enough in your eyes? You want to watch me continue to live in unbearable pain because the pain I once caused you is a kind of hurt that can never be repaid. You think I should experience that pain, so you tried everything to make me endure that agony, right?

If you truly think that way, then congratulations, you’ve succeeded. You let me experience that unbearable pain, the kind of pain where even breathing is labored. Perhaps what I did back then caused immense harm to your heart, but then again, hasn’t what you’ve done put me through torment too? And I can only swallow this bitterness silently, over and over again. I can’t say it out loud because I am a man. I should have the basic dignity; I should have the responsibility and courage to withstand storms. I can’t choose to cry like you girls do when feeling even a bit of discomfort. Tears aren’t a solution to the problem nor are they weapons. They can only vent inner anger, but cannot solve difficulties. Whatever decision you make, I will support you. After all, we once deeply loved, and that love will forever remain in my heart. I will never forget what that kind of love felt like. Do you know? That love in my heart has never changed. No matter when or where, I hope you can forever stay by my side, never leaving me for a lifetime.”

Descending into his heart, she still felt touched; standing before her was once the man she loved most, her husband — the man she used all her energy to pursue. But why did things end up this way? What made it turn out like this? There was no way, he doesn’t want this kind of thing to keep happening to him, so he can only decisively make a cut, or else he would be caught up in confusion. He cannot bear such a risk again. For each, the road they chose was different, so the result will also differ. They chose to fall in love, to marry and have children, to accompany each other for a lifetime. But in the end, they couldn’t withstand the test of time and could only choose to live the lives each desires separately because their goals weren’t here — their expectations weren’t here. This is one reason why they were never able to become lifelong companions.

”The pain you gave me once long ago doesn’t hurt anymore. Although sometimes occasionally, thinking of it still brings heartache to my soul, gradually it’s gone. Back then, when you abandoned me, my heart was quite smoothly broken. But now, I don’t hate you anymore because as my love slowly faded, my hatred for you also went away. Now I don’t love you nor hate you. I only regard you as a friend in my heart. You’re right — being strangers well, nobody interferes with anyone living the life they want, striding grandly and openly without worrying about being seen by their former partner!

Now, from my perspective, I know I don’t have any right to interfere with your family affairs. But I hope you can understand one truth: Dad sacrificed a lot for us, especially for our son, tirelessly pulling him up and giving him the achievements he has today. If there’s any conscience left in your heart, if you still understand what gratitude is, please return to Dad’s side and take care of him, letting him enjoy some family bliss. Don’t let him suffer as he once did; your refusal made him sick and hospitalized. To anyone, this is a bolt from the blue. I know when you learned Dad was sick and hospitalized, you were anxiously disturbed, but don’t hurt him anymore. Your every refusal will only make his heart suffer more. Why can’t you let go of your so-called past dignity and return nicely to your father’s side to accompany him a bit? Let him also have the kind of life he desires!

You can pretend you didn’t hear any of these things I said. You can treat what I said as air, as wind by your ears — I won’t say anything because the final decision is still in your hands. I just hope if your conscience is still present, then please don’t do anything that would harm your father again. He doesn’t owe you anything; on the contrary, he’s given you countless opportunities, truly too many!

As children, we can only choose to be filial to our parents, letting them live carefree lives, not letting them worry to pieces about our affairs, not letting them repeatedly feel sad and upset because of us!

I’ve said all I can. It’s now up to your final decision what to do. If you really can understand, that would be the best; if not, I’m helpless too. From today onward, we will become strangers. Originally, I hoped to be friends with you, but you ultimately chose not to contact me anymore — that’s the best. Your ability to let go so thoroughly gives me the greatest comfort because at least I won’t feel troubled by your entanglement anymore...”

I thought I would feel no pain — self-learned — watching the haste. The heartache you talked about, turns out to be like this!