My Alleged Husband

Chapter 410: Chapter 389 Reply_1

Xia Jing saw the message from Zhang Yichen and didn’t know how to reply to her son. Eventually, she responded to Zhang Yichen, ”Child, I’m sorry. I know that it was I who caused the outcomes you’re experiencing now. Whether you hate me or not, I hope you can understand that in my heart, I will always love you. You will always be my dearest son. Although I did many things for which I should apologize to your family, I hope you can understand that I had no choice at the time, helpless as I was. I was young and reckless, not knowing the severe consequences my actions would bring. You should be understanding toward me. I know you are a very good child, and to find a son as good as you in this world is not easy. Having you is the greatest blessing of my life. I have made so many mistakes in my life, but the one thing I didn’t do wrong was to have you. I have no reason to stay here any longer; staying will only add to my sorrow. I believe that, even if deep down you hate me, you wouldn’t want to see your mother unhappy. If you knew I was living each day in gloom, would your heart be content? You would want me to find my own happiness, wouldn’t you? Although this will cause you pain, I believe you would support my decision unequivocally—that I believe in you. After I’m gone, I hope you will take good care of your grandfather, your wife, and your son. I believe that one day we will meet again. As long as you take good care of your elders, we will eventually reunite. But I don’t want you to use any other reason to force me to stay.”

Zhang Yichen couldn’t understand why his mother, despite his desperate pleas, still refused to stay. Do I really mean so little in her heart? Is it really that hard to just live happily with my family for a while? Why? Why does my sacrifice result in such an outcome? How can I accept this?

Zhang Yichen hastily replied to Xia Jing, ”Do you really have room for me in your heart as your son? Do you truly love me? If you do, you should sacrifice for me, you should stay for me. But why won’t you stay for the sake of your son? Is it because in your heart, I no longer hold any place as your son? If that’s the case, why bother making noble claims? Don’t you think that all these excuses sound hollow? I can understand you looking for grand-sounding excuses to leave for your own sake because everyone does this. When they don’t want to face the responsibility for their errors, they always find some high-sounding reasons to explain themselves away. They don’t want others to despise them. I understand your initial intent, but you’re my mother. Can’t you stay for your own child? I have never really asked anything of you in this life, but this time, I’m truly begging you to stay. For my sake, for my family, for my child. I beg you, don’t abandon all of us just because of my father. I really don’t understand why every time you act, it’s so selfish. You say it’s for the greater good; shouldn’t you make some sacrifices? Are you a mercenary, my mother, or a part of this family? How can you be so selfish and self-serving as you were before? Don’t you feel this is totally unfair to us? We value you so much and sincerely treat you as part of our family. Is this how you repay us?”

”I’m sorry, I know I have wronged you all. I have caused such hurt to your family. But things have come to this point, and there is no turning back for me now. I only hope you can sympathize with my arduous reasoning. Do you understand? I sincerely love you; my love for you is no less than anyone else’s. I know you always think I am selfish, and it’s true. I could abandon my son, my father, and my family all for my own selfish gains. I even abandoned everything I cared about. All these wrongdoings are my doing. But couldn’t you understand the immense pain in my heart? You think I created this situation out of selfishness, but have you ever thought about what drove me to this? When your father cruelly kicked me out of the house, not a single person spoke up for me. Now, at this point, by what right or reason can you claim to make me stay? Do you want me to continue to suffer your father’s abuse? All of you should understand that my self-respect and pride are the things I hold dearest. Yet your father trampled on these things repeatedly to discard me. What position did he grant me? Did he ever treat me as his wife? I gave him so much over the years, yet in the end, I was repaid with his callousness and finality. Do you understand this pain? The feeling of pain so great that you wish not to live, a feeling I’m sure you’ve all experienced. The immense pain you felt was caused by me, and now I’ve received my retribution—your father has abandoned me, the source of my most profound pain. I can never return to the Zhang Family again. I can’t bear the thought of living under the same roof as your father; doing so would make me suffocate. The pain is so intense it stifles my breath. Do you know such pain, that even breathing becomes torturous? Please forgive this selfish act of mine. Now, I must leave, for if I don’t, staying would only harm everyone, and none could have peace. We should all think of each other, shouldn’t we? Let’s not linger on these matters anymore. Let’s live our lives happily—that should be enough. Let the past go.”

”Since you’ve decided so firmly, I have no more to say. If you insist on leaving, my efforts to persuade you to stay are meaningless. I just hope you think it through. By leaving, we might never have the chance to recognize each other in our lifetime...”