My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2216: Chapter 2049: Too Late

This life has seen too many things come too late, too late to turn back and look at the once splendid glory, and I have embarked on a path from which there is no turning back.

Zhang Ni actually knows what her father truly thinks deep down. Over the years, she has chosen to say nothing, hoping to leave a way out for each other, so everyone can think carefully about the path they should take and the actions they should make, so no one feels sad about the decisions made because of their achievements. As time passes and the family’s arguments occur again and again, she has matured a lot. She feels that to survive in this world, family harmony and unity are essential. If every time problems can only be solved by force, even if she continues to live there, she will only bring sadness and pain to the family.

Zhang Yichen doesn’t understand what kind of thoughts his son really harbors. He only knows that he has fulfilled his responsibilities as a father, told his child everything that needs to be said, and whether his child eventually chooses to follow his wishes depends on whether he opts for that path in the end.

”Dad, you actually understand better than anyone else, don’t you? You see things more clearly than anyone else, but you chose not to say anything because you don’t want the family’s relationships to deteriorate. But do you know that because of your current mindset and actions, you have given each family member a different perspective, making everyone feel conflicted about your actions?

No one wants to live in pain all the time; everyone wants to live a happy and carefree life. But is it really possible to live recklessly for a lifetime? Will it truly become reality? Who can genuinely reach such a state? Every time everyone just seems so painful and sad, no one thinks about what I should do, or what the worth of everything I’ve gained is.

Back then, for trivial things, I just went along with you, only to realize now how absurd my actions were. Why did I argue with you over those things, and why did I let you feel a hurt deep inside?

I don’t know if what I did was wrong; I only wish to make things different from before. I just want every family member to live better and live the life they most desire, but why do I find that no matter what I do, I cannot make everyone in the family live according to my wishes? What I did seems meaningless. Was one decision really that significant? Mom, why in your eyes does it seem like I’m the only one wanting to live my own life, to explore the world by myself and discover how vast it is? To you, it’s just a joke, a casual remark; you never take what I say seriously as genuine words.

What I wanted to achieve has gradually been accomplished, but in the end, I discovered that the outcomes conflict with my original intentions. My goals are no longer what I once wanted most, and I have no way to control it. It makes me feel that my abilities are too weak, that I cannot grasp my best life. Instead, I’ve made a mess of it.”

”Child, let’s stop talking about these things now. Shouldn’t we, as father and son, coexist harmoniously? Why bother arguing over trivial matters? The most important thing now is to quickly bring your grandparents back, accompanying your mother, helping her return to normal, so that she can live normally again. Don’t let her stay in a daze day in and day out, sometimes erratic, sometimes clear-headed. Isn’t this a kind of pain for her too, deep inside?

You know very well that your mother is a proud person. Once she makes up her mind, she won’t let anyone easily change her decisions. But now, she can only lie here, confined in a small space. If her mind were clear, would she be happy? Would she feel that this is the life she most desires? She would only see this as the greatest humiliation and feel that she’s a burden on us, seeing herself as a liability.”

”I don’t want to dwell on these issues anymore. I hope you go back and persuade grandpa and grandma well, helping them figure out what they truly want. If they compensate for their child’s loss now and try to live as freely as I did before, then in the future, no one in this family would sincerely welcome them back. Their return would cause too many changes in this family, catching us off guard time and again. I don’t want such a life to continue. I hope he can genuinely think about what he wants most in life, and how every decision he makes affects us.”

Zhang Zhentian has been standing here, listening to the conversation between his son and grandson. He didn’t expect that they are still considering what he’s done as an elder all these years, the people he owes. But now that he has finally returned home, why must he continue to hurt them the same way over and over again, throwing away the trust they gave him, rendering all their efforts futile? What did he do all these things for? Why hurt them this much? Does his conscience really sit well with it? Does he not feel any guilt at all?

He is indeed suffering deep inside, but when faced with these matters, he doesn’t know what choices to make. All he wishes for is for everyone to live happily together, but the ending he most desires seems always out of reach.

Inside, he too is in pain and in conflict. He wishes everyone could be happy. But because of his appearance, this once harmonious family has become as awkward as it is now.

He cannot figure out, no matter what, where he went wrong.

No one ever stood in my shoes to think for me. The experiences I’ve gone through were always narrated by others’ thoughts, turning me step by step into what they wanted me to become.