My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2214: Chapter 2047: Encounter

Until now, I only realized that once certain things happen, they can never truly be changed. No matter who was right or wrong, at the end of the day, the blame always falls on you.

Perhaps when I hear winter leaving, I will wake up one day. I think of you, I wait for you, and I also look forward to you, but the future cannot be planned around this.

Zhang Zhentian knows that this is about his own father and son, giving himself a final chance. He understands, yet he doesn’t know how to choose. On one side is his wife, on the other is his family. No matter which side he chooses, he will have to give up, and the other side leads to a conclusion he most dreads. If his choice forces him to make this decision, he will never be happy, never be content. What should he do to get everyone to consider from his perspective what kind of outcome he truly wants? If his repeated wrong decisions lead to a lifetime of regret and there’s no way to forgive himself, wouldn’t he be making mistakes over and over again?

Therefore, he doesn’t want to make a correct decision along life’s path, hoping everyone respects him, and that he doesn’t feel so mentally exhausted. But some things are really not that easy, making a decision is never easy, and how difficult must it be to make the right one?

Everyone views things differently, and maybe everything he does brings the most painful results to his heart, yet he has no way out. All of it only makes him feel pained and unbearable.

Xia Jing clearly understands what her husband is thinking deep down.

Even if she knows clearly deep down, she is powerless. She thought about keeping her husband at home, but she couldn’t force him to stay if he wanted to leave, so she quietly left by herself.

”Actually, you don’t have to worry about my feelings. I know you really want to stay with this family. Over the years, you’ve dreamt countless times about returning home. Even if you’ve forgotten, I haven’t been able to. It’s my fault that things have come to this, it’s my fault you’re struggling so much. But do you know? No matter what, I can’t bear to see you continue to live in such pain. Even if I’m living alone outside, I’m still your wife, our legal bond will never change, but I hope you understand that.

Everyone in this family needs you now, how can you choose to abandon them for a little personal desire? Leaving was out of necessity.

But if you choose to leave again now, it would show that we never truly saw them as family. We don’t want this ending, it would only bring us pain. We should prove with our actions that we truly want to stay, that we truly consider them family from the depths of our hearts. If I make the wrong decision again, what way will we have to return? How will we face our ancestors?

You know, I’ve never asked you for anything over the years, but today I’m really pleading with you to make a correct decision. I’m begging you to think twice, I’m begging you that none of us have to be repeatedly saddened by this matter. I’m imploring you to consider staying, to take care of your children, and your father. Don’t leave again in a moment of anger, that’s not the result we want.”

Zhang Zhentian knew his wife would say something like this. He knows how hard life has been for her all these years, how could he not know? But he never made a wrong choice. Perhaps nothing he says now will change anything, as every word might lead her to misunderstand. He doesn’t want her to feel so worn out, and even less for her to bear the whispers of others. He just wants her to live happily, freely.

”You’re right, I do want to come back to this family, but the precondition is that you’re here too. What meaning is there with just me?

Please don’t push me away. You think me leaving will bring me happiness, but you’re pushing me to the brink time and again. Please, let me live happily. Let me have autonomy, like a normal person!

I hope I can choose the life I want to lead, that the path I take is mine. I don’t want my entire life to depend on all of you. I want everyone to know that every decision I make is right, that I can depend on myself to the end. I don’t want others to look down on me.

Dad, deep inside, you know very well, whatever decision I make, it’s hard to change, because I’m not the type of person to easily change my deep-seated beliefs. Time and again, I’ve come to this point. How I wish my life could be happy and peaceful, but the outcomes always disappoint me.

I admit, I caused you great hurt back then, but it wasn’t intentional. I just hoped for a happy life, but my repeated outcomes just brought you sadness. Do you know how much I regret it? None of you can feel the remorse inside me, a feeling that suffocates, that step by step pushes me to despair, and I’m powerless.

I wish I could live freely, even if only once, I would be at peace. All these years, I’ve never lived freely. You actually understand, everything I’ve done to achieve what I have now hasn’t been easy. I’ve gotten here through my own hard work, yet who really cares about how I feel, or thinks about the hardships I’ve gone through? No one truly understands.

You always think what you deem as good is the best, but you’ve forgotten if it’s truly suitable for me? If this way of life is not meant for me, how do you think I feel? It’s just torture, deep-seated torture that grinds down one’s willpower, leading them into a painful abyss where they can’t pull away. I don’t blame anyone, because it’s all the result of my decisions, and I can only bear it alone. But you should also consider my pain, my bitterness, and how many tears I might have shed.”

All past pains never truly faded for a moment, those scars are deeply etched within, unforgettable wherever and whenever. Perhaps to others, it’s just another Chapter, but to me, it’s so complex and unbearable.

I always wished you were here, like you never left, with your sweet smiles. How I long to return to the day we first met, no one could predict how the story would end. I want you to accompany me through every moment, all of which now turns to rain!