My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2215: Chapter 2048: Entrance to Dreams

I don’t know exactly how far the person I’m waiting for is from me, all the pain lingers in my heart.

”Child, I never thought about adding to your troubles when you were already at your most difficult time. I’m your father, and you should know that a father’s greatest wish is to protect his child. How could I possibly bear to let you suffer this harm? But what am I doing all this for? I keep pushing myself, step by step, to where I am today. All I want is to live a stable life, but what about you? Since I came back to this family, how much ridicule have I endured? You know better than anyone. When you see me suffering all that ridicule, does it hurt your heart at all, as a son?

Although all those things are my own doing, my own mistakes, I should bear the cost. But this price has been paid for many days; I don’t know how many days, I don’t know how much price I’ve paid. I keep supporting myself, just so you can see my determination, my genuine wish to stay by your side. I sincerely hope you can be happy. I keep shutting myself away just to show you my best side. Again and again, I’ve hoped for you to have the happiest, most blissful life, but I’ve repeatedly made things worse.

I’ve caused you all this harm, and as a father, I really have no way to make it up to you in this life. But I hope you can understand, as a father, no matter what, would never sincerely want to hurt his child. I really can’t bear letting my child be hurt while I still smile away. Do you think, in such circumstances, I’m still fit to be your father? I am a person, a father, a son. I have to consider issues from different angles, different outcomes. I have to look farther than anyone else. Perhaps now our departure would bring you a peaceful life, reverting to the state before we came back. You might feel much more relaxed then.

We also understand ourselves better than anyone. We know how much harm we’ve caused you more clearly than anyone. Do you know? Whenever I make my heart suffer like that, I yearn so much to be happy, because time and time again I’ve only brought harm to my son. In your heart, I am unfit to be your father. But do you know? I also hope to get my son’s forgiveness. Over the years, we have tried time and again to return to this home. Finally, we managed to, only for this outcome to happen. None of us wanted to see this outcome. It makes everyone feel like we wish for a stable life, wanting to live without such humiliation, but the outcome turned out to be like this.

Child, no matter where mom and dad are, just take good care of your grandfather, your wife, and your child. By taking up the responsibilities you should toward dad, it would be the greatest comfort for me. There’s no way I can abandon your mom. If your mom chooses to leave alone, how could I, as her husband, leave her alone? If it were you, you couldn’t either. I believe you have sincere feelings for your wife, just like I do for your mom. You should understand that feeling.”

”You’re right; I can understand that feeling, but I never said I wanted my mother to leave this home. Why do all your decisions always ignore my feelings and answers?

Do you think in your hearts that every decision you make is correct, while every decision I make is wrong? So in your hearts, you’ve already treated me as an outsider, not needing to ask for my opinion on any decision. What am I in this family then? Am I still a member of this family? If I am, then I have a say. I have the right to decide who stays and who leaves this family!

I don’t understand what reason makes you so ruthless to choose again to leave today. I don’t blame anyone because I know if my wife’s destiny has such a trial, even if you didn’t come back, she would still have become crazy and gotten depression like now. I can’t blame anyone else; I can only blame myself as a husband for not giving her love, neglecting her so that she turned out like this. All the responsibility should be mine, not my parents’. You have no reason, nor the right, to bear all the responsibility for me as a husband. She is my wife; she is only your daughter-in-law.

I think I’ve made myself very clear at this point. You should understand what I mean. Don’t keep opposing me again and again, and don’t try to test my patience. I don’t have that great patience; everyone’s patience has limits. You understand better than anyone that repeatedly challenging someone’s bottom line has no good outcome. It only makes things awkward between us. Consider more when doing things. If you do even a little bit, I would be much happier, much more relieved. I don’t ask for much help from my parents; I want them to sincerely treat me, sincerely willing to give up some stubborn obsessions for this family.

If one doesn’t face it directly, living might be tiring. If someone is obsessed, obsessed deeply, doesn’t living become tiring? Step by step pressing oneself, only hoping to be happy, turning oneself into almost a lunatic, do you think such a life is meaningful?

I don’t want any of my parents to leave this family. If you truly love me, don’t add to my troubles now when I’m at my most difficult time. Please stay, if only to bring me some peace of mind, can you? Don’t make me divert energy to take care of you, to think about how to protect you. That’s really exhausting for me. Give me some freedom, some space, or even some protection, for my sense of security, can you?

I am a child who lacks a sense of security. As long as you can stay, I won’t mind anything...”

Once, you told me to keep believing that love is the most beautiful crystal held in one’s palm. I once prayed for you not to leave or abandon me. I need you so much. How I want to hold you, how much I wish you’d look again, and ask again, you’d know how much fear I have.