My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2346: Chapter 2179: Stardust

Perhaps these three words can only be spoken to myself, because when you tilt your head up to stop your tears from falling, you’ve already lost.

”Grandfather and Grandmother, I actually understand now why my parents hated you so much, and I also understand why you made him so sad. Sometimes, I would see him hiding in a corner, secretly wiping away tears, and it leaves me incredibly disappointed, watching him cry time and again, while I just stand by helplessly. I truly can’t bear to see such things, longing desperately for him to live a happy life. When he was hospitalized, I felt truly despairing. The one who doted on me the most was admitted, and perhaps I would never feel his love for me again.”

”You might think I’m being greedy, having already received the love from both my mom and dad, much more than my biological father ever did. My biological father never received love from his parents since he was young, whereas my parents have always been by my side since birth, never giving up on me. I should have been content with this. One should be content to be happy often. But I can’t help it because other children have the company of their grandparents, and I don’t. This comparison always lingers in the mind, and when one sees others, their heart realizes they don’t have that much after all.”

”Every decision I make relates to whether my parents can live happily. All I wish for is my family to be happy and joyful. I can disregard anything else, I can give up everything, I can live my life under grueling training, but I cannot let my parents be unhappy or unhappy.”

”Child, in the past, the decisions we made might have broken your heart, yet I hope you can forgive us. I’ve realized my mistakes. During these years away, I have never lived a happy life, burdened every day with pain, guilt, and self-reproach. So many years have passed, I’ve become numb, not knowing what kind of life I truly want. But until I met you, seeing you playing happily, I then realized what I’ve truly lost.

You are my grandson, the next heir of the Zhang Family. No matter what, we hope you can be happy and joyful. Having you in life is the happiest and most joyful thing. Without you in this life, what meaning would your parents’ lives carry? All they want is their child to grow up safely, their family to stay joyfully by their side. Regardless of what harm the final outcome might bring to each other, no matter the emotional pain caused, as long as your hearts believe, as long as you ultimately come together, then what problem is there?”

”In your eyes, you think that after doing something wrong, you can simply demand others to forgive you easily, but why should they? By what right do you have to let others forgive you unconditionally? Why should others pay for your mistakes? Why should others bear the consequences of the errors you’ve made? Instead of taking responsibility for your mistakes, you think about how to avoid them over and over again—does that make it right? You never consider how pained we are; you only wish for your own happiness, adventuring happily outside—why must you be so selfish?

Living selfishly is truly exhausting. I can never be as selfish and self-centered as you are, abandoning one’s own biological child. I know perhaps you had your compelling reasons through these years, but do you know? Though my father doesn’t say it, his heart also hurts, struggles, and feels guilt just like mine. With you choosing not to be by my side caring for me, it makes me think maybe my grandparents didn’t like me, maybe I wasn’t cute or obedient enough. However, in my father’s heart, he wonders why his own parents chose to leave his side, why they were unwilling to accompany him a bit longer. Could it be because he wasn’t cute enough, or perhaps, in their hearts, he wasn’t worth their effort and care?

Maybe you never thought my father would have such thoughts, truth be told, even I was shocked when I knew he felt that way.

My father appears outgoing and cheerful, yet no one knows the pains he harbors inside; he buries all his sorrow deep within himself, never revealing it to anyone.

Most times, most issues wouldn’t be problematic, with just a little more understanding, a little more care, and concern shared between each other. However, between you two, there has never been any communication, like myself being abandoned by you for such a long time. I know I still matter in your heart, yet you don’t know how to express it. I’ve chosen my own way to have faith in you, yet you don’t know how much my parents anguish inside, how disappointed they feel. Most importantly, my great-grandfather, she has sacrificed so much for the happiness of our family, worrying about us even in the hospital, whereas you?

You have never been by our side, uncertain about what way, what kind of words to communicate with us. Perhaps there’s a generation gap in our communication, but you know, everyone wants their parents to stay by their side. Every parent wishes their sons and daughters-in-law, even daughters and sons-in-law, to remain beside them fulfilling their filial duties. No matter how simple the companionship, even if not doing anything, just having them by their side would suffice. Yet you lack all the most crucial care. You can heartlessly abandon it all. In your hearts, there isn’t anything worth looking at differently. All you want is your own view of happiness, your own freedom. But do you know? All this can never exchange for the eternal love from relatives, never reclaim the lasting affection they feel for their own kin!

When even your friends become disappointed in you, you’ll realize everything you did was wrong. Why did you ever selfishly leave, disregarding your family’s joy...”

When I felt the evening breeze that you once felt, have we then, in some way, embraced each other?