My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2319: Chapter 2152: The Days Ahead Are Long

”Grandpa, I used to always tell her that there’s plenty of time in the future, and now it really has become a long future ahead, haha...”

Zhang Yichen now feels that his father’s experiences over the years are simply colorful Chapters of life he hasn’t lived through. He also wants to go out and explore a few times, to live freely and recklessly like a wanderer. But over the years, he has been focused on his goals, aiming to prove to the world that he is a decent man, forgetting what he truly wants in the end.

”Dad, do you know? When I hear you speak about your life experiences, deep down I mostly envy you. I admire you more for being able to live freely outside for so long, free from all family obligations, only pursuing your own happiness. But I can’t. My whole life has been spent running around for the sake of everyone in the family. I have never known what it’s like to live for myself, nor have I tried to live my life independently!”

Perhaps because our experiences are different, our attitudes towards everything differ, you lived these years happily, freely, and extravagantly while I endured devilish training. At that time, I truly hated you all. I’ve claimed it to the world over a hundred times—how much I truly hated you all. I didn’t want to acknowledge you as my parents because you never stayed by my side to accompany me. You always brought me nothing but harm as parents, failing to fulfill your parental responsibilities. Instead, you repeatedly hurt us. Perhaps deep down in your heart, you think I don’t deserve to be your son.

It’s precisely because I fear you might think I don’t deserve to be your son that I gave everything I had. I spent my youth, my time, my childhood on training, hoping to show you that I truly am your son. Do I deserve to be your son? Similarly, do you truly deserve to be my parents? Deep down, you know more clearly than anyone else that you aren’t the most deserving parents. There are countless more perfect ones out there, even impoverished parents who struggle to stay by their child’s side, enduring hardship just to not abandon them. But what about you?

With the slightest upheaval, you are unwilling to stay by your child’s side, treating their child like grass—to keep or discard at whim. Where does that leave me as your son? In what position? From the start till now, I don’t know how much weight I hold in your heart. I don’t understand why you’d rather wander outside than stay with me—does staying with me bring you that much agony? Or am I only ever meant to stay here?

Mom and Dad, I truly don’t want to repeatedly talk about certain things as it only causes more pain to my heart every time. Whenever I think of those years when you abandoned me, or when I recall the struggling childhood I endured alone and the sneers I received from others, my heart cuts as if by a knife.

But I have no choice—I really have no choice—to easily let go of all past matters like you can. You can disregard everything that happened before, treating it as if it never happened. But I can’t, as those are pains imposed on me by others!

I truly wish time could reverse. More than anyone, I wish time could reverse even a little. Then I wouldn’t live like this, burdened and weary.

If only time could roll back a bit, I could live happily and joyfully. I certainly wouldn’t abandon my childhood, leaving it trapped in painful memories. Now, every time I recall my past experiences and my childhood bits and pieces, I can’t even believe—is that really a child’s childhood? Why are other childhoods bright and sunny, while mine was dark and damp?

Why is there such a vast difference between my childhood and others, simply because I was born into a wealthy family? Must I accept the fate of being abandoned by my parents, endure falling down time after time, and climb back up strong, facing everyone’s sneers with a smile?

I’m not content—I truly am not content. You are often not content about many things, so why can’t my heart also be discontent, even just once? I’ve given so much, why is the outcome like this? Had I known earlier, why did I choose to be born from you, only to bear such pain?”

”Child, please stop talking. We know how you have gotten through these years, enduring hardship and struggle. You’ve earned everything by your effort without asking anyone. Because of this, as your parents, we feel even more pain in our hearts. We never imagined we would bring such harm to you. We only wished for you to live peacefully and smoothly throughout life.”

”But why did I end up giving you such pain? Time and again, my role as a parent feels meaningless. I don’t know how to bring my child a happy, prosperous family life!”

”You’re right—we are indeed not qualified as parents. We didn’t fulfill even a fraction of our responsibilities to you, yet brought you much pain. Can your heart hate me? But don’t blame your mom. She did it because she had no choice. I forced her—she never intended to abandon you, her own son. Back then, she held you tightly as I pulled her away—she wouldn’t let go, she couldn’t bear it. Because you’re the child she bore painstakingly for ten months, her own flesh and blood connected.”

”Actually, who’s to blame no longer matters. Today, I just want to pour out the thoughts I’ve had over the years—I don’t want to be trapped alone in a little room forever, imprisoned in painful memories all my life. I just want you both to know, I’ve already forgiven you. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t say these things to you—I have no obligation nor responsibility to relieve your guilt!”

Always said ”there’s plenty of time,” but who knows whether tomorrow or unforeseen accidents come first.