My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2321: Chapter 2154: Monologue

The winter snow has left no trace, how can I leave, how can I awaken love, you’re not here, time turns into the sea.

”Alright, since you have brought things to this point, I have nothing else to argue. I know that in your heart, I never existed. I don’t regret these years waiting for you, spending my youth on it. In my heart, as long as I feel I love you, I can keep living just to protect you. That’s more than enough for me.

Maybe everyone pursues different things and the outcomes are also different. You want a life full of freedom and love, but I only want to have you, to wait for you all these years, to give up my youth for you.

Now I’m tired too. I know that all of this is just my own doing, and in the end, it hurt my own feelings. You never had a place for me in your heart, so why should I force you to stay by my side? I shouldn’t have appeared, let alone disrupt your originally happy and peaceful life. Now, I have become an eternal sinner. I have no way to forgive myself, but I hope you can live peacefully. For me, that’s enough. I’m not asking you to forgive me, just not to hate me, and still regard me as a friend!”

Ran Zhihan never thought that one day he would turn a perfectly good classmate relationship into this. He never thought this day would come so quickly. What she wanted was just a stable life. Why did it end up hurting so many people? Could it be that her so-called love would eventually make everyone sad because of her?

Because of her, her grandfather worried his heart out, her marriage was falling apart, teetering on the brink of separation, but she still never changes, doing things that make everyone feel embarrassed and sad time and time again. Why does no one understand her intentions? Why does everyone treat her like an enemy? Is she really that untrustworthy in their hearts?

”I’ve already said that, no matter what, I won’t choose to hate you because everything you did was for me. Because of me, you have already suffered great harm. I shouldn’t use a petty heart to rate a noble intention. I’ve already understood that no matter what big mistakes you make, it’s because of me that you ended up in this irredeemable abyss. I have no right to blame you, nor do I have the right to resent you. I can only make you understand that no matter what, I will always trust you because in my heart, you have always been my best friend!

Since we’ve already spoken to this point, let me be straightforward. Since I always regard you as my good friend, you shouldn’t harbor any improper thoughts about me. You should correctly regard me as your friend, rather than having ideas of using me over and over again. I don’t know how to explain the feelings in my heart right now, but I want you to clearly understand that some things can’t be obtained by force, and some people can’t truly be owned just by being allies. As for the relationship between us, maybe you still don’t understand what kind of relationship it actually is, but please at least understand my good intentions. We are really not suitable for being together. Perhaps you once thought we were a perfect match, with so many identical worldviews, but in the end, you will truly realize that we’re really not meant to be...”

Chen Gang already knew in his heart that he would get such a response, but when he heard these words from the mouth of the woman he loved, he couldn’t help but feel a bit unhappy inside. Why, with everything he did for her, does he only get a simple thank you from her eyes, and in the end still endure her rebuke? Was everything he did really all wrong in her eyes? Why can’t he get a good result from everything he does in her eyes, why does he have to endure so much pain, why does everything end up so troublesome just because he wanted to get back the love he lost over the years, and ended up in such a sorry state?

”Yes, to you, it seems none of this matters because you didn’t pay any painful price for it. But what about me? I paid for it with so many years of youth. Is only a woman’s youth precious? Is a man’s youth not precious? In that time, I could have found a whole woman to marry and have children with me, but I didn’t. I always held onto a lucky thought, I only thought of being with you, even if you had children for someone else, I still loved you and never changed. But when you said these words to me today, my heart turned completely cold. No matter how much I do, in your eyes, it will never have a good ending. You’ll never believe that all I do is for you. Your world has already become twisted, and in your eyes, you only see that man, and I will never have a place.

Zhihan, is your heart really that hard? I’ve done so much for you, and can you really turn a blind eye? Why can’t you calm down and ask your own heart what kind of love you really want? My years of waiting for you have all gone down the drain, just because of one word from you. I’ve given all my youth, yet in your eyes, I still can’t get you to choose me for once. You’ll never stand on my side to consider what I truly want. You will only know a reunification with the one and only. Can’t you see that everything you’ve done isn’t what I want!

Is it fun for you to hurt me? Is it that only when I’ve been hurt all over that you can live happily ever after? Does hurting others really fulfill your so-called love and happiness? After hurting others, can your happiness really last long? Happiness is not built on other people’s pain. Today, I finally realize that my love for you all these years was just me being delusional, you never loved me in the first place because there was never a place for me in your heart. In the end, I still walked on this road of no return!

That’s right, I was delusional from the start. I wasn’t worthy of you, it was always just my wishful thinking!”

Tear each word of memories apart, forgetting why there was any feeling.