Peerless Bodyguard of a Stunning Beauty

Chapter 121: Chapter 100 Reward me with 200 acres of land?

At this moment, Mage Erzhen failed to hear his disciples’ warnings that his crotch was bleeding. He stood confidently by the riverbank, wringing out his sopping wet clothes. He then looked around at his disciples—some had made it to shore, some were still struggling in the river, their limbs bitten off and flesh torn away by the piranhas.

What are these good-for-nothings capable of, besides producing crap? By contrast, I, Mage Erzhen, am so formidable that I swam a lap in a river full of piranhas and not only remained uninjured but also emerged completely unscathed.

Just as Mage Erzhen was feeling smug, Wang Jingang looked at the blood spreading across his master’s lower body and said, ”Master, your... your privates seem to have been bitten by a piranha.”

With that, Wang Jingang gently poked Mage Erzhen.

Hearing this, Mage Erzhen looked at the injured Wang Jingang, chuckled, and said, ”Wang Jingang, only a blockhead like you would get bitten by a piranha. How could someone as formidable as me get hurt? What can a tiny piranha do to me?”

He was midway through his sentence when he suddenly felt a sharp, penetrating pain in his lower body. Looking down, he saw that his crotch was indeed bleeding.

Shocked, Mage Erzhen immediately unfastened his belt, reached into his trousers, and pulled a piranha out from his crotch. Seeing its sharp teeth, he gasped. He angrily slammed the fish to the ground, killing it instantly. ”Damn it, how did this fish get into my trousers? Did it chew up my balls?”

After speaking, Mage Erzhen took off his belt and turned around to inspect his injuries. It would have been better not to check, because the sight was catastrophic. He immediately turned pale with fright and said in agony, ”Damn it, I must have accrued eight lifetimes of bad luck. The piranha actually bit my balls.”

When the others heard that a piranha had bitten Mage Erzhen’s balls, they were all stunned for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

Wang Jingang, clutching his right hand which had lost a finger to a piranha, couldn’t help snickering. ”I thought I was unlucky, but I never expected you to be even unluckier than me, Master.”

Dasha, holding his left foot that had lost a toe, said with a mixture of tears and laughter, ”How can Master be so unlucky? I’d rather have a piranha bite off my toes than my privates. If a man loses those, can he still be called a man?”

Huang Mao covered his ear, which had been bitten off, and looked at Mage Erzhen’s stunned expression. He gasped and said, ”Compared to my injury, Master’s is obviously the most severe.”

At that moment, Zhao Rong, wielding the Dharma Sword, leaped onto the highest point of the broken bridge. He looked across at Mage Erzhen’s fallen and injured group and mocked them, ”Fools, didn’t you come to snatch the True Martial Sect’s Leader’s Seal? Why are you all lying on the other side of the river, not coming over?”

Hearing Zhao Rong’s mockery, Mage Erzhen turned around, grimacing in pain. Bending over and clutching his crotch, he said, ”Zhao Rong, I was coming to get my Seal back from you, but damn it, some idiot scattered piranha fry in the river, so we all got bitten...”

Hearing this, Zhao Rong laughed heartily. ”You bunch of perverse degenerates, if you want to snatch the Sect Leader’s Seal from Mage Yizhen, then come and get it. What’s there to fear from a few piranha bites?”

With that, Zhao Rong waited for the bastards to come over so he could give them a sound beating.

Meanwhile, the wound on Mage Erzhen’s crotch began to bleed profusely. In no time, his trousers and shoes were soaked red with blood. His face twisted in pain as he said, ”Zhao Rong, if I weren’t so unlucky today, I would have come over and killed you. However, given my serious injuries, and the fact that I am still a virgin, I must go to the hospital for treatment to save my manhood...”

Hearing that Mage Erzhen, who was over fifty, was still a virgin, Zhao Rong said in disbelief, ”This guy has the face of a lecher. Only a ghost would believe he’s a virgin.”

At this point, Tao Hua interjected, ”Zhao Rong, there’s something you don’t know. Mage Erzhen has remained a virgin all this time in order to cultivate the Heaven and Earth Dragon Elephant Technique. So, it’s quite possible he’s telling the truth.”

Zhao Rong knew that only a virgin could cultivate the Heaven and Earth Dragon Elephant Technique contained within the Sect Leader’s Seal to its maximum potential. He couldn’t help but mock Mage Erzhen, ”Old man, you sure went through a lot just to practice your version of the Sunflower Manual. Life is hard, and you’re already knocking on death’s door without ever having experienced the pleasures of the flesh. You’ve truly lived in vain. What an old fool...”

Having been thoroughly berated by Zhao Rong, Mage Erzhen’s face turned ashen with rage. Although he wanted to cross the river and kill Zhao Rong right then and there to snatch the Sect Leader’s Seal and begin cultivating, he was completely helpless.

Gritting his teeth, Mage Erzhen said, ”Zhao Rong, once my injury has healed, we will meet in the True Martial Sect’s dueling arena. I will kill you to avenge the humiliation you’ve caused me today.”

Zhao Rong was already eager to deal with Mage Erzhen. When he heard the challenge, he couldn’t have been happier. ”I was just thinking about giving you a good thrashing, and here you are serving yourself up on a platter. Good. You’d better heal quickly. We’ll settle this in the True Martial Sect’s dueling arena.”

With that, Zhao Rong prepared to sign a life-and-death agreement with Mage Erzhen. In the True Martial Sect, it was customary to sign such an agreement before a duel.

When Tao Hua saw Zhao Rong about to sign, she immediately stepped in front of him to stop him. ”Brother Zhao Rong, you’re only a level-nineteen cultivator, and you don’t have any Cultivation Techniques or Martial Techniques. How can you duel someone who’s level twenty-seven and has Cultivation Techniques, Martial Techniques, hidden weapons, poisons, and more? Aren’t you just marching to your death?”

Tao Hua was extremely pessimistic; she was certain that if Zhao Rong signed the agreement, he would undoubtedly die in the duel. Seeing her block his way to prevent him from signing, Zhao Rong simply smiled confidently. ”Tao Hua, don’t be afraid. My level might be low, but my IQ is high. I may not have any Cultivation Techniques or Martial Techniques, but I have justice and kindness on my side. And while I don’t have throwing darts or poisons, I do have pepper spray and rat poison, which are definitely just as toxic as whatever Mage Erzhen has.”

Hearing this, Tao Hua nearly fainted.

Mage Erzhen’s poisons are top-grade lethal concoctions created through refinement, while Zhao Rong’s rat poison was probably bought at a street stall. The two are simply incomparable.

With a flourish of his pen, Zhao Rong signed the life-and-death agreement with Mage Erzhen.

Seeing this, Mage Erzhen was delighted. Zhao Rong, if you hadn’t signed this agreement, I could have only beaten you severely, not dared to kill you. But now that you have, don’t blame me for being ruthless.

In this world, parallel to Earth, the law stipulated that as long as a life-and-death agreement was signed, killing an opponent during a duel carried no legal consequences.

Just as Mage Erzhen was reveling in his good fortune, he suddenly felt dizzy from excessive blood loss, and stars flashed before his eyes. He quickly told Wang Jingang to call an ambulance. ”Disciple, once we get to the hospital, you must make sure the doctors save my manhood, no matter what. After I master the Heaven and Earth Dragon Elephant Technique, I plan to finally break my celibacy. I was going to be like Mage Yizhen and go to Ukraine to find a foreign girl, ride a tall foreign mare...”

Before he could finish, Mage Erzhen fainted from blood loss.

Soon, the ambulance arrived. When Mage Erzhen came to and saw it, he was thrilled. Finally, the ambulance is here. It seems I, Mage Erzhen, am saved. Zhao Rong, you just wait. Once I’ve recovered, I will definitely kill you.

Just as he was basking in the relief of being rescued, the doctor preparing to give him a blood transfusion made a startling discovery. Mage Erzhen had RH-negative blood, the so-called ”panda blood.”

The doctor sighed. ”Oh, man. Of all the blood types, this old guy has to have RH-negative. We don’t seem to have any of that in our blood bank.”

Hearing that he had ”panda blood” and that the blood bank was empty of it, Mage Erzhen wet his pants in fright.

Damn it all, when it rains, it pours! First, the bridge inexplicably breaks. Then some classless fool dumps piranha fry into the water. And now, when I’m bleeding to death from piranha bites, the blood bank doesn’t even have my blood type!

Suddenly, Mage Erzhen fainted from sheer terror.

When Zhao Rong saw his plight, he couldn’t help but roar with laughter. ”See? He’s such a bad guy that even the heavens can’t stand it and are deliberately creating obstacles to torment him.”

Zhao Rong hadn’t finished speaking when he saw three beautiful women—Miss Lili, Yu Lan, and Xuelian—rushing towards him. Seeing their anxious expressions, Zhao Rong wondered, Weren’t they sleeping in the dorm and taking care of my drugged assistant? Why did they suddenly come running over? Did something happen?

As he puzzled over this, Miss Lili ran up, gasping for breath. ”Brother Zhao Rong, it’s terrible! The Mayor has personally come to the True Martial Sect to find you!”

Hearing that the Mayor had come to find him, Zhao Rong furrowed his brow in confusion. I haven’t done anything wrong, have I? How could I have attracted the attention of the Mayor of Xijing City?

Yu Lan, also catching her breath, added, ”Brother Zhao Rong, the Mayor brought a lot of people with him, and they’re carrying ceremonial banners.”

Hearing that the Mayor had come with ceremonial banners made Zhao Rong even more baffled. Lately, I haven’t done anything bad, but I haven’t done anything good either. Why would the Mayor bring banners? Is he here to commend me for cutting down the bridge and dropping Mage Erzhen’s group into the river to feed the piranhas?

While Zhao Rong was still lost in thought, he saw the ambulance carrying Mage Erzhen attempt a sharp turn. The driver hadn’t slowed down enough and had underestimated the centrifugal force, causing the vehicle to flip over. Mage Erzhen was flung from the ambulance and landed in a stinking ditch nearby.

Seeing the half-dead Mage Erzhen, already suffering from massive blood loss, now tossed into a foul ditch from a car crash, Zhao Rong couldn’t help but laugh out loud. ”Wow, Mage Erzhen really should go buy a lottery ticket.”

At that moment, the Mayor of Xijing City approached. He handed a ceremonial banner to Zhao Rong and said, ”Zhao Rong, you are the great hero of our Xijing City. Your heroic deed has shaken our city to its core. Therefore, Xijing City has decided to grant you honorary citizenship and reward you with two hundred mu of land.”

Hearing he would be rewarded with two hundred mu of land, Zhao Rong’s eyes widened. ”What? Reward me with two hundred mu of land? Wouldn’t that make me a landlord? But, what good deed did I even do? I don’t know myself. Mayor, could you tell me?”