My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1742: Chapter 1536: Letting Go

I know that I am the person you think of only in your most lonely and helpless moments; unknowingly, because of you, I have overlooked the boundaries that should exist between us. Hidden deep in my heart, yet untouchable, is the person whom I can no longer partake in this play of love.

Ran Zhihan hasn’t involved herself in her father’s matters these past few days. She hasn’t even bothered about what her husband is doing. She only feels uncomfortable all over, but at this point, she is embarrassed to tell her family—they’re already swamped with their own matters. If they were to come over to help her because of her problems, wouldn’t that make her more awkward and make them more agitated? She absolutely cannot become their burden, or else they would only perceive her as someone who brings them burdens without offering anything else.

Zhang Yichen doesn’t seem to notice what’s wrong with his wife either. This time, he’s been tangled up in issues between his father and grandfather. He doesn’t want his father to hurt him. He believes he’s done his part for his wife, thinking she’s a considerate, understanding, and generous girl who wouldn’t mind these matters. But he also forgets that any woman hopes to receive attention and care from her husband, even if it’s just a simple greeting, which would lead to a different outcome.

Watching her husband and son argue over and over, Xia Jing feels deeply conflicted inside. Why do all things end up with this conclusion? Did she really put in all her efforts to return home only to create family happiness and joy, yet they haven’t achieved happiness and joy? Why do they seem a hundred, a thousand times more miserable than before? Is it due to her return that all this has turned out this way? If so, why did she come back, why not leave entirely, never to set foot here again? Would they go back to the happiness they had before?

Zhang Zhentian didn’t know his wife’s deep-seated thoughts were like these. Had he known earlier, he certainly would have reasoned with her that none of this originally had anything to do with them—why place the blame on themselves? Isn’t living happily good? Must we care about others’ feelings? If his life is eternally lived under the shadows of others, how could he find happiness and joy? If he lives selfishly, never caring for anyone else’s feelings, wouldn’t that be nice? Forever indulging in his world of joy.

”Zhentian, really think about how to explain things to Dad. Don’t argue here with your child. Arguing will not solve problems; it isn’t a solution. If you keep arguing like this, what do you think both of you will become? Will you continue to be at loggerheads? You are father and son, not enemies. Must things become such that you can only be enemies for life to be satisfied deep down?

One of you is my son, the other my husband; helping either isn’t right, but I just wish to stay quietly here without disturbances. Have you thought about it? What harm have your actions done to those around you? All this you’re fighting for, each and every time, is merely for your desires. But, what do you actually want over and over again? Where do you put me? In your hearts, do you believe all you are doing is for the good of your family? Yet you forget, beneath the premise of doing ’good’ for family members, you are hurting them.

Think carefully about how many have been hurt by the excuse that it’s for the family, how many times you’ve hurt your own family. Have you really never thought about this? Why must one use selfish and self-centered views to measure others’ deep feelings? Does it truly matter how others see you? In the end, you are harming those who care about you most; you’ll never mature, forever immersed in your own world, blind to the pain your words bring others, the blows they suffer. No person of flesh wishes to be continually harmed and remain indifferent, nor can anyone laugh off others’ criticisms when hurt.”

Zhang Yichen was left speechless by his mother’s words. All these years, hasn’t he known the excuse was hurting so many? Only too clearly, yet he dared not confess, believing speaking would worsen things, not wanting others to look down upon him. He thought if his heart was strong enough to pull the wool over the eyes, it would suffice; being robust within would prevent becoming like this.

Today, hearing his mother say those words to him, he suddenly realized all these years’ deeds were wrong—none were correct. He hurt so many, including his grandfather’s grandpa, who continually greeted him with forced smiles, but truly none knew his innermost thoughts—the things he truly wanted never asked, only thoughtlessly imposing his views upon him, making her bear all pain for him.

For his sake, his grandfather has sacrificed too much, relinquishing his children, his family. His sole wish was for him as a grandson to live joyfully, pressure-free. But what does everything he did mean? Ultimately, harm always fell upon those who loved him, while those who didn’t love him remained unscathed by his actions. Yet his grandfather suffered immense blows, all caused by him. Never has his grandfather reproached him, instead continually protecting him, giving him all love belonging to his father, forcibly seized for all that affection.

The past carries warmth, yet the day’s encounter shattered the heart’s door; the film was rooted in sadness, and their separation marked a bitter silence between them.