My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1703: Chapter 1497: An Impassable Hurdle

Zhang Yichen felt that no matter what, she should persuade her mother. No matter what, her mother shouldn’t treat her father the way she did before.

”Mom, actually, no matter how you look at this, you were at fault first. No matter what, you shouldn’t treat my father like this. Even if he abandoned me, abandoned my grandfather, abandoned our entire family, and even made my grandfather so angry he ended up in the hospital, I can forgive him because he is my father. No matter what mistakes he made, he’s still my father. He’s the one who gave me life. If it wasn’t for him, how would I be here today? You both step by step made me who I am now, but you never thought about how hard it was for me back then. You’ve never been there for my growth. Do you know how afraid I was as I grew up, with all those repeated harsh trainings? I cried in fear, but no one extended a hand to help me!

In the dark, where you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face, who could understand the fear in the heart of a small child? Who could understand the shadow it cast on my heart back then? Time and again, you only considered your own desires, forgetting your own family who needed your company the most. You truly didn’t know how to care for your own family. Your actions were merely to satisfy your personal desires, but is your so-called freedom really that important? Over the years you’ve gained freedom, but are you truly happy, are you truly content? You’ve gained freedom but lost the family who loved you most, lost your home, wandering aimlessly outside, living in fear every day. Is that really the life you want?

Mom, no matter what, I still call you mother, because all these years, I know you’ve been silently watching over my actions. I know you’re not ignoring my existence; you just don’t know how to interact with your own son. I can forgive you for everything, no matter the harm you caused me, no matter how many times you shattered my happiness, I won’t hold it against you. But for my father’s sake, I must make you understand, what place are you putting my father in with your actions? Can’t you see how much he loves you? He’s willing to give you all his love, are you really going to strip away each layer of his love for you, like peeling an onion? If that day really comes, can you continue to be happy?

People’s hearts are flesh and blood and can ache; feelings are not one-sided. Who would willingly give everything only to receive a cold, unfeeling response in return?

If you were reaching out, you wouldn’t be worried about these things. We won’t say anything to my father. We don’t want her to be sad or upset, let alone cause a fight between you. But things have to stop somewhere; don’t hurt her like before, again and again. She’s changed a lot to follow your steps. She wouldn’t have done this before, but she’s truly given up so much for you. You should also consider her feelings. If you keep hurting her, she will only drift further away. Everyone has a different way of living. Maybe our way of living is different from yours, but we hope you can follow our way of life together. You’ve returned to this big family; you’ve returned to a formal family setting. You should adapt to our way of life in this big family and not live as you did before, on your own. That is not a way to live long-term!”

”My dear son, thank you. I’m grateful you spoke such heartfelt words to me today. I really understand that some things, once they happen, cannot be changed. Do you think I don’t want to go back to the way things were? I just wish time could go back a little, to give me another chance. My life would have been so miserable; I lost the one I loved the most, who also loved me the most, and ended up in a cycle of my own sorrow and pain. All of this was created by my own hands. I can’t blame anyone else because I know that some things cannot be changed in this lifetime. What I missed will always be missed. I only feel sorry for myself—why did I never consider other people’s feelings when doing things? I just acted willfully, never thinking about the consequences. I truly regret it. I don’t ask for time to turn back; I only hope heaven gives me another chance, even just one, to return to the past, to say sorry to the one I loved the most, to let me be wholeheartedly with him. That would be enough.

Sometimes I truly hate heaven. Why give me only one chance? What I wanted was far more than this. I could give up everything for him. Knowing how deep my love is, how heavy his love is, to do anything for him without concern, to bear the heaviest repercussions willingly. So why did I hurt him again and again, feeling guilty and in unbearable pain, making my heart numb? I don’t even know my own name anymore. I only know my heart has always loved that man. I love him; it will not change in this lifetime. I just want to stay by his side, but why did heaven play such a huge joke on me with fights again and again? Still, others’ interference, the intrusion of another, ultimately made everything extraordinary.

Child, controlling your own happy life is most important. Don’t be like mom, regretting after losing it. By then, it’s too late. I only blame myself for why I did it. If I had known, why start it? That sentence is for me. I know how much pain my actions have caused; I know how much psychological shadow it has cast on those who love me. I can’t say it; I have no way to measure it. I only know that in this life, I’ve embarked on a road of no return because my choices hurt those who love me the most. I will live in sorrow for the rest of my life, sometimes truly feeling sorry for myself...”

Believe that everything you want is within your reach; as long as you try hard, you will surely succeed!