My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1737: Chapter 1531: Separation

For you, I really can give up so much, but I also truly hope you can return to my side. I’ve never hated myself as much as I do now, and I never imagined that everything I’ve done would turn out like this.

”Is it that I treat you poorly, or am I not as good as her in some way? Is it that I’m not good looking, or have I wronged you somehow? Why do you do such heartless and ruthless things to me?

In your heart, do you just not regard me as your husband at all? Is the safety and well-being of our family so trivial in your eyes? Where do you place your family? Since you chose to form a family with me, you must take responsibility for it. The way you are acting now, what do you regard every person in this family as, a pawn you can discard at will?”

Zhang Zhentian became more and more furious the more he thought about it. He never imagined that his wife would turn into this one day.

He didn’t understand how the once lively and cheerful woman in front of him had become like this. Why is it that whatever he says seems irrelevant in her eyes, and whatever he does seems wrong?

Perhaps he doesn’t realize it, if a person no longer loves another, then no matter how hard that person tries, it has no effect. Even if it seems like the heart is still there, ultimately, it means nothing.

”Don’t say that, I was really happy with you during that time. You gave me everything I wanted, and I was willing to pay any price for you. But did you ever think about what kind of life I wanted, what kind of outcome we would have? Again and again, the result of your arbitrary decisions interrupted my life!

Have you ever thought about the life I want? I live each day in utter despair. Who has ever given me the happiness I long for? I am constantly tormented by illness and suffering. I too want to have the life I desire, but what has anyone ever given me?

I once asked him if he could keep crying, keep smiling for me, but in the end, I could not exchange it for anything. When I held him from behind time and again, did you know how much it pained my heart? It hurt so much, I really wanted to hold him forever and never let go, yearned for time to stop at that moment, but would heaven really pay attention to me? Absolutely not!

When I held her, I prayed again and again in my heart, hoping the heavens would slow down time or let it stay forever at that moment, to never pass. But when I looked up, I found that time had passed, and he turned away still, leaving me alone, waiting silently in that moment. How lonely and desperate I was, who could possibly understand?

You may think one should not be so selfish, but do you know all I ever want is just something so simple, as long as I can stay by his side, I wouldn’t care for anything else.

For years I have been thinking of others, but ultimately, I gained nothing out of it. In my heart, this is a failed outcome. No matter how much thought I put into others, in their eyes, what am I really?

I ignored my physical pain and chose to be with him. All I wanted was to see him smile once, even if my heart was bleeding. As long as he had a smile on his face, I could still be very happy.

Perhaps you think what I’m doing is foolish and naive, but don’t you know this is what true love is? I don’t need him to give me any emotional return, I don’t need him to place his heart on me anymore. As long as I can give my feelings, I can give my heart to her, that’s enough. Whether ultimately I end up scarred all over or achieve lifelong happiness, as long as I have no regrets, that’s enough. I’ve lost him again and again, and this time I really don’t want to lose him again. If I lose her one more time, I don’t even know how much longer I can live...”

Zhang Zhentian didn’t expect his wife to love that man so deeply, that she wouldn’t even value her own life. In his eyes, what even is he as a husband? Just a temporary emotional refuge? Is it really just a transfer of affection?

”I never thought that you could love her so deeply, that you could risk everything for him, even ignoring your own life. Why can’t you do this once for me? I remember when we were together, you pretended to love me so much, and at that moment, I really thought I had entered the paradise of happiness. But in the end, I found out it was just the start of the hell of pain!

Even if you never want to be with me in this life, even if there is no place for me in your heart, could you consider my feelings? I just want to live this life healthily, happily, and joyfully, even if just a little bit, just a little bit is enough. But over all these years, have I ever been happy? No, I ran everywhere for you, wandered the world for you. I gave up my entire family for you, for you I endured the pain of longing.

I clearly know my father was waiting for his child to come home and see him. I clearly know my father was there, waiting eagerly for us to return to the family.

But knowing all this, for your happiness, I still chose to pretend to know nothing. Do you know how desperate I felt, do you know how hard it has been for my father? You never considered what kind of life we wanted. Every decision you make is just for your own selfish desires!

Isn’t the real selfish person actually you? Don’t you have any inkling in your heart about the things you’ve done?

Don’t foolishly hope others will forgive you because what you’ve done leaves them unable to forgive you for life. You’ll live in your pain, in your own world, and never come out because you’ve nowhere to return to in this life. You can never come out; you can only endure the torment of pain, the pain that comes again and again, and in the end, you’re only reaping what you’ve sown!”

I don’t hate anyone, the only thing I hate is the mistake I made back then that allowed my wife to leave me!