My Alleged Husband

Chapter 733: Chapter 703: Loss of Meaning_1

Zhang Zhentian didn’t know what the purpose of his wife’s life was anymore. In her eyes, he had never become an important partner in her life, and to him, he would always be but a passerby.

Now he had become numb. He didn’t know how to comfort his own temperament, to persuade his wife to give up the man in her heart. Every incident ultimately only brought him pain over and over again, and no one knew what kind of ending all this would eventually lead to.

”Sigh!

Xia Jing, you are my wife, even if in your heart you don’t wish to live for yourself, can’t you live for me just once? Can’t you stop being so selfish, hurting those who stay by your side because of a man who has already left? Do you think that’s fair?

Perhaps I shouldn’t be talking to you about fairness, but there are things I simply can’t tolerate anymore. All I want is to stay by your side peacefully, yet you keep me at bay. Your heart is always with another man. What am I to you?

Maybe you think I’m being petty as a man, but which man would be willing to watch his wife always think of another man and never give her husband even a small place in her heart? Would you be happy and satisfied if it were reversed? You only care about your own feelings, forgetting the pain caused by your actions to those who love you most.

Perhaps I’m speaking too much, interfering too much. I shouldn’t nag you with these things endlessly on your doorstep. But if only you could consider the seriousness of every action from someone else’s perspective, then no one would need to speak such heart-wrenching truths to you again.

I gave you everything, treated you with all my heart again and again, only to be met with your icy treatment. No matter what I do, I can never elicit the right decision from you. What have you made of me, then? I am merely your effort, and you keep thinking it’s only right that I treat you this way, but you forget I don’t owe you anything. I do so only because I want you to be happy and joyous, not for any other reason. But why is it that in everything you do, you are unwilling to consider my feelings?

Once, we both gave up our own child and family for our freedom. I thought I was happy then, but as time went by, I slowly realized that I was far from the happiest. Again and again, I suffered and endured, because I feared the day when the nightmare would come. I, too, hope to be with the person I love the most one day.

But how much have I given up for you? Don’t you have any idea? What kind of person do you see me as? Someone who will do anything to achieve his goals?

I really hope you can try to understand me. Don’t define someone’s life based on a single aspect. Such judgments are unsatisfactory to anyone. You always know only your own happiness and pain, but you forget the hardships of my love for you, how difficult it has been for me to reach this day, and how I stood by you day and night for these many years. Have you forgotten all that?”

”You’ve been with me countless days and nights; I’ve never once forgotten how you treated me. But I truly have no way to love you! If you’re not in my heart, wouldn’t I be deceiving you by saying I like you? How can I keep telling you such words? I just want you to understand that some things aren’t like that.

You say heaven is unfair to you, but is it fair to me? Time and again, I’m put to the test, challenging my limits, and what does heaven take me for in the end? Nothing but a tool to test human life, being used over and over, only to return wounded to where I originally belonged, with no one ever considering the pain I’ve faced. You all have only your joy and happiness. Aren’t you selfish too?”

Zhang Zhentian was left speechless by Xia Jing’s words; he knew that everything she said was the truth. All these things had indeed happened, but he had not chosen any means to stop them. Instead, he allowed the mistakes to continue, which might be an inseparable pain for every family. Everyone believes their actions are not wrong, yet who is truly at fault is not for them to judge. The outcome one faces in life is not easily seen, only reflected in the choices one makes over and over again.

”If you don’t want your life to lose its meaning, then I hope you can live for yourself just once. Do you know how rare such an opportunity is, how many people wish to live for themselves but are trapped over and over again in family illnesses, with no chance of happiness in their entire lives?

Those who are displaced, begging over and over for someone to treat them well, do you understand their pain?

My circumstances aren’t the best either, but I can use what little I have to help those in need. You might think this is trivial, but for me, it is a profound step from the depths of my heart and soul. Again and again, you think my actions are just for show, but who knows the sincerity behind all I do, and yet I am met with suspicion and doubt, which is almost unbearable for my heart!

Don’t let your life lose its meaning...”