My Alleged Husband

Chapter 722: Chapter 692: Nightfall_1

”Zhentian, ah, you could never truly understand, what it’s like to see the night fall again and again before you, when you can no longer see your hand before your face, like walking alongside the road, seeing only the flickering streetlights and the night markets all open for business. Yet, the person you love the most is not by your side. You’re so worn out from hunger, waiting for him to come see you one last time, even if you never get anything in return in this lifetime. But why does she have to treat you this way, unwilling to give you even the last bit of her thoughts? He erased all memories, leaving you nothing but endless painful recollections, the heartache that tortures you over and over, until you can no longer bear it. You dropped all your dignity to plead with him, but why won’t he come out to see you just once?”

”You probably also think I’m stupid and foolish, don’t you, for giving so much to a man who doesn’t know. But do you understand how much I care about her? Because of the various mistakes made between us, we fought again and again. Who can understand the pain in my heart? I gaze at the pure white moon above, watching the bright moonlight spread over Dali, yet here I am, standing silently like a fool, waiting. I have no way to pray for him because I can’t enter the place where he lives. I can only look from afar, watching the lights in his dormitory turn off and on. Have you ever felt what that’s like? Even though you’re my husband and have suffered a lot with me, you’ve never felt this piercing heartache.”

”I have resolved in this lifetime, if he doesn’t want to return by my side, even if I’m with you, I won’t be happy. It would be better to part ways and let me live out the rest of my life in peace. I just want to wait for him there, never changing in this lifetime. I’ve given him so much, yet it’s nothing compared to what he has given me. He was willing to sacrifice his life for me, and what have I done for him? Being with you is the ultimate betrayal of him. It’s only right and understandable that he won’t forgive me. No matter what I do, in his eyes now, it’s all just to sustain a lie. But who knows how much I truly loved her? That kind of love can’t be expressed in words. I’m there, looking at the sky, hoping for a bit of compassion from the heavens. But why do I always end up only with others’ contempt, the odd looks they give me, and yet I still stand there, sit there, crouch there—anyway, just waiting there, lingering, but I will never see his voice again. Has he really become so heartless towards me?”

”Perhaps you think I’ve never experienced such pain. But do you know? Doing this to me is the greatest pain you could inflict. You’re my wife. How can you bear to say these things to me, time and again praising that other man before me? In your eyes, what am I, your husband, to you? You bring him up time and again before me, and I act as if it doesn’t matter, as if I don’t care. But that doesn’t mean my heart feels nothing. Hearing those words, my heart aches, and it hurts too. I’m only waiting for one person, but why do I end up waiting foolishly forever for a hug that never comes?

”Are you truly my wife? But what you’ve done to me is even crueler than a stranger’s actions. Even a stranger should be moved by me. I’ve given up so much for you, yet you can never see my love. You insult me time and again. In your eyes, what am I? Looking around, the darkness is just as you said, imperceptible. You’re waiting for your ’her,’ and I’m waiting for you. When you turn back, you should still be able to see me, but you choose not to turn back in this lifetime, for you have cut off all your means of retreat. All you want is him. No matter what I give, you’ll never see it because your eyes, your heart, are full of his shadow. Annoying her — you may never get the chance to be happy in this lifetime. But do you realize that without you, I will lose happiness for the rest of my life too?”

”You’re right, people are selfish, but can’t you see my genuine feelings for you and try to give your heart to me, letting me experience the sensation of being loved? The pain in my heart these years is no less than yours. I’ve always been waiting for you to come back to my side. All these years, although you’ve been physically with me, your heart wasn’t. What do you think that makes me feel like?”

”The person I embrace night after night is nothing more than a living corpse. In your eyes, am I really so unworthy of your love?”

”Is it such unhappiness for you to be with me?”

Zhentian grew angrier as he spoke. He really didn’t know how to deal with his wife anymore. His daily company was nothing but a joke in her eyes!

”Zhentian, it’s not like that. In my eyes, you’ll always be my friend. I can never fall in love with you in this lifetime. Being with me is the biggest mistake of your life because my presence cost you the chance to marry into a wealthy family. Do you know how guilty I have felt about that? I wish you could find someone who truly loves you to be with. Everything I’ve done was just to help myself, but I never thought that because of me, you would choose to be with me, and that’s why father was abandoned by you because of me. Do you realize how much pain that caused him? Why didn’t you consider father’s feelings in the first place?”

”He only wanted the care of his offspring, and have we really repaid him for all the years of nurturing he gave you?”

”Enough, don’t talk anymore. None of this concerns you. You’ve already said you don’t want to be with me. Do you know how much it hurts to hear you say these things? The person you are now frightens me. Do you realize how much damage you’ve caused me with your actions?

”Can’t people be less selfish? Sometimes it’s good to consider others, isn’t it? Why must you hurt the people who love you one after another...”