My Alleged Husband

Chapter 710: Chapter 680: Not All Apologies Can Be Answered with ”It’s Okay”_1

Xia Jing must have known how much damage she had caused her husband; as a woman, she could hardly accept her husband having another woman outside, let alone how a man would feel. Men’s dignity is far more critical than a woman’s, and yet she had sacrificed so much for herself. Why did she always act so recklessly, taking his love for granted and only realizing how wrong her actions were whenever he chose to forget and leave her? Why couldn’t she see that some things, once done, cannot be undone? Every mistake she had ever made ultimately made things difficult. Why didn’t she ever consider the impact her actions had on her loved ones? Who could know what kind of outcome it finally brought to her?

Perhaps she was just a burden in this lifetime, a drag on everyone’s life, causing others to suffer with her because some burdens should have been hers to bear alone. Yet, with her presence, everyone was hurt. Was her existence truly a mistake? Why couldn’t she ever gain others’ recognition? Was she always seen as a burden, someone who dragged others down, never able to truly love someone?

”I’m sorry, I know what I’ve done has deeply hurt you. I’m aware of how much you’ve sacrificed for me over these years. I’m not a heartless woman; I could never ignore your efforts. I must admit that I’ve slowly developed feelings for you, from initially using you to gradually liking you. Do you know how many years that took? I’ve been trying to change my heart in order to forget the person I love the most. But the truth tells me that no matter what, I can’t forget him, because the happiness he gave me is something no one else can offer. I just want to live happily, undisturbed; why is that so hard? Do my actions only lead to being abandoned by others, time after time?

You know how hard my life has been in recent years. With my resilience, I’ve reached today, climbing up step by step with my life. As an Upper-class Person, I just wanted to make everyone respect me. Why do my actions ultimately lead to everyone’s prejudice against me? Did I really hurt everyone with what I’ve done?

”The sacrifices you’ve made for me, I might never be able to repay in this lifetime. You’ve been hurt today, and I can’t change that. But do you know how much I love you? I love you to the point I’d pay any price, give up everything I have, even my life. Can’t you just comply with me a bit? Even a little compliance would be nice. I know you’ve loved me so much over these years!

”I am fully aware of all the love you’ve given me for years, and today I have truly apologized to you. What more do you want? Is my apology so insignificant to you? Why can you ignore my apologies as if they mean nothing? I just want to be with you sincerely, regardless of who the other person in my heart is. Now that I am your wife, I won’t regret it. I regret what I did, yes, but it’s because I hurt the person I love the most, the person who loves me most. That’s why I feel such pain, why I am so full of regret. But you love me, yet I don’t love you in return. I’ve taken your love for granted, forgetting you need my love too. Only mutual trust and respect can build love!”

Zhang Zhentian couldn’t help but laugh when he heard his wife’s naive words.

”You’re really a good woman, aren’t you? Don’t you understand yet? Not every apology earns forgiveness. Do you really think I wouldn’t mind what you’ve done? There are things I don’t want to say, not because I can’t, but because I must not. I have to bury these pains deep within me; for the sake of my family’s honor, I must maintain it. For you, I’ve made my father lose face, and now, shall I do that again because of you? I can no longer be so selfish!

”Do you know? Sometimes I really don’t know what to do. My love for you has never diminished, but do you realize how much I care for you, your feelings? I would never get you what you don’t want, even if it means going against the world. And if you want something, even scaling mountains or diving into oil, I would get it for you. But why choose this way to treat me? Lies, deceit, time after time, all tearing our marriage apart. My trust in you is exhausted, gone. I don’t know what’s true or false anymore. Although being with you makes me happy, I’ve also experienced a lot of pain. Everyone lives empathetically. I’ve given you all my love; why repay me this way? Don’t you love me? If not, please tell me early. Why live with me all these years, letting me naively believe that everything I did was worthwhile? I thought at least you loved me, but in the end, do you? You judge me with your heart full of false pretense, using my love for what purpose? Is it for that man in your heart? These pains I will never forget, but I hope you remember—not all apologies merit forgiveness, not everyone will indulge you like I have!”