My Alleged Husband

Chapter 716: Chapter 686 In Fact, I’m Not Stupid_1

Zhang Zhentian smiled. At least he knew his wife still harbored feelings for him deep inside, but he also knew that some things could not be forced. Even if his wife did not love him deep inside, he would never find happiness, no matter what. Keeping his wife by his side against her will would only bring him pain in the end. If that was the case, why treat himself like that? Shouldn’t two people together be happy? Why let some unhappy things turn everything so tragic?

”Actually, deep inside, you still have feelings for me, it’s just that my place in your heart isn’t as significant as your ex-boyfriend’s. Whatever decision you make, I will respect it!

I never did anything right in my entire life; everything I do is wrong, and in the eyes of others, I can never do one thing right. What’s the point in living in this world? I’ve never felt more like a failure in my life. No matter what I do, it’s wrong; I never receive even the slightest bit of understanding from others. No matter how much I give, even if it causes me unbearable pain, no one cares. You may think deep inside that you’re happy, but who knows if you are actually the most miserable?

Each person must forge their own path in life. No matter what I have done, or what decisions I have made, in the end, I only receive cold indifference. Why can’t I get what I want in this lifetime? The one I love, I can never have, while those I don’t love keep staying by my side. The ones I love abandon me over and over, leaving me one by one. Loving without being loved in return—what kind of principle is that, and who can understand?

”So you mean you don’t love me, but you stay by my side. Do you have any idea how much I’ve given up for you? I abandoned my own father, my family, my entire clan, all to be with you. To be with you, I’ve sacrificed so much, I would pay any price. But why can’t you understand my devotion? All I want is to stay with him peacefully!

No one lives a life free from mistakes, but once mistakes are made, we must face them bravely. If we keep running away, what will we end up with? No matter how much I give in this life, it’s just a passing cloud to others. They won’t care about everything I did for them. Everyone is so merciless, so cruel!

As they say, women’s hearts are the most difficult to fathom. All I wanted was a stable love, so why has fate treated me this way?

I really don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Repeated heartbreaks have caused me indelible pain. Why is it that what I want to have, I can never achieve, while what I don’t want insists on staying with me? Is fate really so against me, so truly unfair? Everyone has a heart that can hurt. Isn’t love supposed to be reciprocal? But I’ve given so much already, my entire youth and my whole heart. Why must I always be met with stony hearts? Don’t I deserve someone to love me just once? Even just once would be enough. No one can live happily in this world, but every decision we’ve made must be faced, shouldn’t it?”

”You’ve grown numb now. You don’t know what you really want. Your desires dictate you, controlled over and over by your cravings. You look at the person before you, and your heart aches. Only then do you realize how much you love her, but she is no longer yours. You’ll never have the chance to be together again in this lifetime. Who in this world could live happily, cheerfully? Everyone lives in pain, seeking only the simplest things. Why can’t everyone achieve what they desire?

I don’t regret giving up everything for you, even neglecting my own family. The biggest regret of my life is losing you. I just wanted to stay peacefully by your side. Why is fate playing such a cruel joke on me? Why won’t it let me stay with you? Does it really hate me that much? I numb myself with the pain in my heart, seeking even a moment’s happiness and cheer. But why can’t I ever find happiness and cheer, no matter what I do? My heart hurts so much, it’s suffocating. How painful it feels, no one can understand. Everyone is stone-hearted!

The greatest pain in this world is not parting from love but not being able to love. Everyone has their own personality, career, and family. Perhaps a single decision could ruin everything. Why does everything I care about always stay by my side? Why is living a simple life so exhausting?

Why does fate treat me this way? To be with the one I love the most? Why does it keep toying with me, playing so many indifferent jokes, making me wish for death all my life?”

”The world doesn’t owe us fairness; it’s about whether we’re willing or not. I see all that you’ve sacrificed for me, but I really can’t love you the way I love that man. I will never have the chance to love you in my lifetime. My heart has been given to him, and it will never appear before you again. I’ve thought about it—if I were with you, what kind of ending would I face? I’ve asked myself over and over, is it really worth it? I’ve grown numb. I don’t know what all I’ve done is for. But now, I just want to live a peaceful life. I only want her to return to my side. All else pales in importance. I can give up everything—only hoping he will look back!”