My Alleged Husband

Chapter 726: Chapter 696: Can’t Lose You_1

”Perhaps you think all this is unbelievable, but do you have any idea how much it hurts inside when my tears have turned to rain, when I see couples laughing and teasing each other as they walk through the crowd on the street? That’s the moment I realized, no matter what, I truly can’t forget him.

In my life, I rarely make decisions that I’ll regret forever. But this time I truly regret. My biggest regret is choosing to be with you and abandoning her. Do you know how much pain that causes me?

It wasn’t until that moment that I discovered I can’t lose her no matter what, because I still love her. Without her, how could I go on living? I really want to hold her, to tell her I’m sorry and to ask for her forgiveness. But my indecisiveness hurt him over and over, failing to protect the person I love most in my heart. Now, I just want to hold her forever, not to part for the rest of our lives, until the day I lose her. It hurts so much, so very much. I never realized loving her would cost me this torment throughout my life. But for me, it’s no problem. I am not afraid of suffering and enduring injustice my entire life; what I’m afraid of is losing him...”

”You say you can’t lose her, but does that mean you can lose me? You say you still love him, but does that mean you have no feelings for me?” Zhang Zhentian, stubborn and bitter, couldn’t let go. He couldn’t stand the thought of being played by his wife again and again, clapped upon like some performance. He wanted to struggle one last time, to see if he held any place in his wife’s heart. If there wasn’t even a sliver of a place for him, what was the point of forcibly keeping her with him? If he wanted a lifeless companion for the rest of his days, why not live alone unburdened and content?

”Honestly, I really don’t want to hurt you, but there are some things I must make clear. I just can’t lose him. My heart is filled with his love, and while I might live without you, without the whole world, I just can’t lose the man in my heart. You may find that everything has changed too quickly, leaving you overwhelmed. But only after I left him did I realize how deeply I love him. I could disregard everything, entrust him with my life. But with you, I’m sorry, I simply don’t have that feeling!

If I choose to be with someone but lack even the most basic passion, then why should I stay with him every moment? From the day I fell in love with him, how I longed to be with him, grow old with him. But there was such a great divide between us that I chose to lie to myself, to deny my love for her. Eventually, I realized the person I’ve always loved is him, and it could never be anyone else!

Do you understand? From my initial crush to being together gradually, and then wanting to grow old with him slowly—it all turned out to be a cruel trick by fate, tormenting me, shattering my most cherished hopes again and again. I hate the heavens for being so unjust to me!

You probably think the heavens are unfair to you, too, because you gave your wholehearted love, and in the end, I hurt you like this. It’s very common, and just as unfair to you. But does everyone know the torment within? When I chose this outcome, I doomed myself never to live a happy life again. But I no longer care about any of that. Yet you claim you could give up everything for me, but do you truly mean it in your heart? If you could, you wouldn’t want to return home over and over. If you could, you wouldn’t let expectations turn to despair. Your repeated attempts are only to gain my sympathy. And even if I did sympathize with you, what then? Without any understanding between us, how could we ever live happily together? Please, don’t force me anymore. Let go.”

”You’ve said so much, and for so long. You’re merely trying to make me give up on you. Since I chose to be with you from the beginning, I won’t give up easily, especially when our relationship has entangled family interests. I cannot selfishly ignore the safety of my entire family. You know how important family prestige is to my father, how much he values his reputation. Yet for our sake, he has time and time again given up his pride and dignity. How could I continue to treat him that way? I’m not heartless. All I want is simple. But since you can’t give me what I want, let me achieve it for myself, won’t you?

You should know, if I make the wrong decision this time, it could ruin my family’s entire fortune. Business is like a battlefield, I cannot ignore the lifetime of effort my father invested. I was too naive for asking you before, thinking you were worth it. But in the end, I realized you’re not. So why should I foolishly ignore my father’s years of toil for your sake?”

Xia Jing understood the reasons behind her husband’s actions. He had done so much for her, yet in the end, she caused him such pain. In that case, why should she keep her husband against his will to do things he doesn’t want to do? Over time, even the softest heart can turn to stone, because everything is the consequence of her own actions. Whom could she blame? All these choices led her to this point, and in the end, they can only leave her lifeless, with no way to change the inevitable outcome that had already been sealed...