My Alleged Husband

Chapter 332: Chapter 312 Trust between Husband and Wife (Part 2)_1

”Do you really think there’s a way to turn back after everything that’s happened between him and me? Now that things have become what they are, do I still need to consider anything? We’ve been apart for so long, and except for the very beginning when he actively sought me out, he never approached me again. By now, he has nearly completely forgotten me. Why should I shamelessly cling to the idea of going back to living with him? I, Xia Jing, am not someone who can’t survive without Zhang Zhentian. Without him, I can just as well live freely and happily. Why should I give up an entire forest for his sake? Since he no longer holds me in his heart, then I needn’t keep him in the deepest part of mine. Over time, I will dilute the longing I have for him, and eventually, I will forget him. Because only by doing so can I provide the best outcome for him. Right now, I don’t want to think about anything else; I only want to make amends to my dearest son. I don’t want my son to suffer any more harm because of me. How I wish I could turn back time. If I could, I wouldn’t have abandoned him, wouldn’t have walked away and left him to live alone for over a decade, subjected to everyone’s mockery. How tormented his heart must have been these years, with everyone pointing fingers at him, saying he had no parents. Do you know how big a psychological shadow this could cast on a child? Yet I never stood up to protect him, because I never lived by his side!”

”Auntie, since you said you don’t want your son to suffer any more harm or to have any regrets in his heart, then I beg you, please consider remarrying Uncle. It’s Yichen’s greatest wish! Do you know that ever since he woke up, during the days I kept caring for him at the hospital, he’s been dreaming about his mom and dad living together? In his dreams, he’s saying, ’Mom and Dad, please don’t divorce. I don’t want you to divorce.’ Do you know how much pain I felt when I heard these words? He is the man I love the most, yet I have to watch him endure such pain, powerless to help. I can only watch his agony spread through his body, through his heart, and see a tear fall from his eyes while he sleeps. I believe you must know what it feels like for two people who truly love each other — to see the one you love the most crying even in their dreams — it’s a feeling of heartache too intense to breathe. Seeing him in so much pain, it’s unbearable for me, so I had no choice but to come to you. I want you to be with Uncle, to continue living together. If you truly want to make up for it, then don’t divorce Uncle. Because to him, the harm is just too great. He has gone through being cruelly abandoned by both his parents, left to live alone for over a decade. Not long ago, he experienced his parents coming all the way from abroad wanting to stay by his side, only to go through a divorce again. How can his heart withstand this kind of pain spreading through his entire body? Even as an outsider, I can see that you truly love him. If you love him, don’t inflict more suffering with what you think is maternal love. That will only cause his heart more agony...”

”Child, it’s not that I don’t want to go on, but there really is no turning back for me and him now. I’ve already told you very clearly, a marriage without trust can’t go on. Even if they did, they would eventually choose to divorce anyway. What’s the difference? Whether it’s a divorce sooner or later, it’s still a divorce. So why shouldn’t I choose to end it quickly rather than drag out the pain? I admit, on the day he abandoned me, I did indeed go mad. My heart nearly broke. I had thought of ending my own life, but I couldn’t bear to because I have my son. It’s not that I can’t part with this world, not that I can’t part with him, or anyone else. It’s just that I can’t bear the thought of my young son losing his mother. I’ve spent over a decade with him, devotedly caring for him, wishing to give him everything I have. Yet, in the end, I realized I was wrong. No matter how heart and soul I put into him, what I got in return was his ingratitude. If he doesn’t have you in his heart, he will never care about how much you’ve sacrificed for him, he only sees his interests, his so-called right and wrong. He’ll never consider whether your actions had a reason, whether you were forced into it, whether you had no other choice. It’s time to end the marital bond of over a decade, dragging each other down serves no purpose. He chose to give up on me, so let him never come looking for me again in this lifetime. Zhentian and I will have no more ties. My only hope now is that my son can live a happy and joyful life, because with you, I believe you can give him happiness. I believe you are truly good to my son from the bottom of your heart, and that you would give up everything for him. But I hope you remember, if there is no trust between you and my son, then you shouldn’t stay together because a marriage without trust is truly just pain and hurt for both people...”

”Auntie, I understand what you’re saying. But are you really not going to reconsider?” Ran Zhihan asked uncertainly.

”There’s no need to reconsider. At this point, no matter how much I think about it, I won’t change my mind. Please do me a favor and tell my most beloved son this: Tell him that in this lifetime, I owe him. If there’s a next life, I will surely make it up to him and never allow him to suffer even the slightest harm. Also, please tell him not to feel any pressure over his parents’ divorce. He should continue to live his happy life. Once he’s discharged from the hospital, I’ll immediately arrange for your marriage, because I know that apart from his father and me being together, it’s his second greatest wish!”

”Alright, Auntie, since you’ve made your decision, I won’t try to persuade you further. Thank you for speaking to me so candidly, and for finally accepting me. Rest assured, I will take good care of him in the future and will absolutely not let him suffer the slightest grievance. I believe he will always trust me because he is nothing like Uncle — I can feel it!”

”Child, you should head back to the hospital now. I believe he’s waiting for you. Don’t let him wait too long!”

Xia Jing said to Ran Zhihan with a grin, but deep down, there was a reluctance she couldn’t dispel.