My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2051: Chapter 1844: Trials and Tribulations

Isn’t life just about living through storms and hardships?

Zhang Yichen feels that no matter what, she should persuade her mother, and under no circumstances should she let her mother treat her father like she did before.

”Mom, no matter how you look at this, you were wrong first. You should not have treated my father this way. Even if he abandoned me, my grandfather, and my entire family, and even if he angered my grandfather into the hospital, I can forgive him because he is my father. No matter what mistakes he made, he is still my father. He gave me life. Without him, how could I be here today? You both step by step made me who I am, but you never considered how difficult my past was. You’ve never witnessed my growth. Do you know how frightening it was to grow up day by day, enduring harsh training again and again? I cried out of fear, but no one extended a helping hand to me!

Who among you can understand the fear of a child of only a few years old training in pitch darkness? Who among you can comprehend the shadow left in my heart because of repeatedly pursuing your own desires, ignoring your loved ones who most needed your company? You truly don’t know how to care for your family. Your actions were only to satisfy your own desires. But is your so-called freedom really that important? Over the years, you’ve gained freedom, but are you truly happy? You’ve gained freedom but lost the loved ones who care the most for you, your home. You wander like a nomad, never having a place to call home and living each day in constant fear. Is that truly the life you want?

Mom, no matter what, I still call you mother, because over these years, I know you’ve silently watched over what I do. I know you haven’t ignored my existence; you just don’t know how to interact with your son. I can forgive everything, regardless of the harms you caused, or how many times you destroyed my happiness. But for my father’s sake, I have to explain some things to you. What place are you leaving my father in by doing this? Don’t you know how much he loves you? He would give you all his love. Do you really want to peel away his affection like layers of an onion? If that day comes, can you really keep being happy?

Feelings are reciprocal. Who would give their all and receive a heart of stone in return?

If your heart feels the same anxiety, we won’t tell my father about this. We don’t want to make her sad, nor want them to quarrel with you. But some things have to stop. Don’t hurt her like before. She changed so much to match your pace. She never used to be like this, but for you, she did too much. You should understand his feelings; if you continue to hurt her, she will only drift further away. Everyone has different ways of living. Perhaps our way is different, but it would be right for you to adapt to our way. You’ve returned to this big family, to the official family. So, you should get used to living this way, rather than living your own life alone. That’s not a life meant to last!”

”My dear son, thank you for telling me such heartfelt words today. Deep down I know that once some things happen, there’s no changing them. Do you think I don’t want to return to the past? I only wish time could rewind and grant me another chance. My life has truly been sorrowful. I lost the one I loved the most, who also loved me the most, and repeatedly brought upon myself grief and pain. All of this was caused by my own hands. I can’t blame anyone else because I know that some things in this lifetime can’t be changed. The things I missed are missed forever. I only pity myself for the actions I took and for never considering the consequences on others. I really regret it. I don’t ask for time to go back; I only wish the heavens could give me one more chance, just once, to return and tell the one I used to love the most that I’m sorry. That would be enough for me to be with him wholehearted and devoted!

Sometimes I truly resent the heavens, for only giving me one chance. What I wanted was far more than this. I could give up everything for her. Had I known earlier that I loved him so deeply, and that his love was so intense, I would have done anything, at any cost, even the harshest consequences would have been worth it. Why did I make those choices that hurt her over and over, feeling guilt and pain beyond measure, making my heart numb? I no longer know who I am. I only know my heart has always loved that man. I love him; that will never change in this life. I just want to be by his side, but why does heaven play laughs by making such a cruel joke, again and again? Were all those quarrels just for someone else’s interference? Having a third party involved ultimately made everything extraordinary!

Child, the most important thing is to grasp your own happiness in life. Don’t wait until you’ve lost it like I did and then regret it when it is too late. I only hate myself for why I had to act that way. ’If I had known then what I know now’ is a phrase I say to myself. I understand how much pain my actions have caused those who loved me. I have no way to tell them or measure it. I only know I’ve embarked on a path of no return in this life because my choices hurt the ones who loved me the most. I can only live in lamentation. Sometimes I truly pity myself...”

I never believe in smooth sailing because it doesn’t exist. Even if it does, it’s not guaranteed to happen to everyone!