My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2057: Chapter 1890: Coldness

Can you somehow make everything go back to the beginning? I truly wish none of this had happened. Grandpa, I really wish she was still here.

After Ran Zhihan was pulled out from Old Master Zhang’s room by Zhang Yichen, he felt increasingly uncomfortable and aggrieved. Why has his husband never searched for him in these many days? In his heart, is he really still his wife? Is this neglect normal in the heart of a man like him? Why treat him this way, he’s just a fragile woman needing his affection.

”What exactly are you trying to do by pulling me like this? Haven’t we already made everything clear between us? Since from start to finish you suspect I’m with you because of your family’s money, why are you treating me like this today? It only makes my heart more conflicted and painful. I also understand your inner thoughts are different from mine. Perhaps every decision I make causes resistance in your heart, but do you know it’s all for you? It’s just to be with you for a lifetime, never to leave you, yet ultimately it all ended with myself covered in wounds.”

Yichen, I beg you, give me some time to calm down, don’t keep entangling with me like this. Let each of us quietly think about whether to continue living this way, and let both of us reflect on whether we did anything wrong. I know sometimes I really don’t know how to speak or do things well, but please don’t despise me, don’t think everything is my fault, okay?

I also understand over the years, my parents, because of me, have enjoyed too much happiness abroad, which perhaps I never could provide them for a lifetime. But I am very grateful to you because you let my parents enjoy the joy of family, repaid their years of nurturing me. I sincerely thank you from my heart, but I cannot allow myself to continue being wronged by you again and again. I may tolerate silently, but I am not a soft persimmon, anyone can just pinch however they want. I am a living person, I have feelings too, but when doubted by my husband, my heart also aches unbearably. But who has ever felt this way?”

Zhang Yichen paused in his steps, suddenly feeling he had no words to refute his wife. Every word she spoke was so reasonable, and as her husband, what had he done to hurt her?

Reflecting on his suspicion towards his wife, is that really what a husband should do? How much his wife cares about him, knowing clearly inside yet pretending it doesn’t matter high, everyone is saddened by his actions. Is this truly the desired outcome? Or is he simply unable to understand the deepest longing for that emotion?

”Ran Zhihan, I ask you, whenever something happens, can you not always choose to humble yourself and seek compromise? Whatever you have to say to me, just say it openly, why always make yourself so aggrieved? Don’t you know it makes me look down on you? Your actions really hurt my heart. I never imagined what lengths you would go to, nor did I ever imagine what state our marriage could turn into. Don’t you know? At the moment I married you, I was so excited, so grateful, grateful that I still had time to marry the most beloved woman of my life. At that moment, I truly thanked heaven for giving me such an opportunity. Don’t make me regret this, okay?”

Listening to her husband’s words, Ran Zhihan felt even worse inside. What was this lifetime for? For a man who had doubted her from the very beginning? Why must she make such great sacrifices?

Everything in the world is fair, and she was aware of that fairness, yet she foolishly jumped into the pit of fire without any chance of turning back in this lifetime. All she wanted was a peaceful life between husband and wife. Why does it seem so difficult for her? Why does no one wish to offer her such life? Is she really so undeserving of happiness in their eyes?

”You simply don’t need to say such things to me. I am grateful to you and I love you, I can hardly believe this is the decision I made. Once being with you, I indeed didn’t know what love was, now my heart beats because of you, feels more painful because of your sorrow. I only know that as long as you’re by my side, I will be extremely happy. Gradually, I’ve come to understand that it’s my love for you, and this love wouldn’t change due to conflicts between us. Instead, I am grateful for your continued presence beside me despite difficulties, which is the happiest thing for me in this lifetime. I have no way to watch you suffer in pain with open eyes.”

Our relationship can’t be clearly explained by anyone. Many decisions are made by oneself, who then can they be blamed upon? Knowing some decisions will leave oneself heartbroken for a lifetime, yet still jumping into them until thoroughly wounded, waiting foolishly alone, hoping someone would accompany deep down.”

”Let each of us take a step back, after all, we still have a young son at home. I have thought many times about making my son happily experience his childhood, rather than, like me, immersed in training during childhood. In the end, despite achieving the world, my heart remains empty. I want my child to enjoy the childhood as you mentioned, not to prove repeatedly to those who don’t care about him how great he is. It would make one tired and passive, no one can understand such heartache. I don’t want my child to walk every path I’ve taken, that’s too cruel for him!”

Don’t make me feel too miserable, Zhihan, where are you? Do you know I am waiting for you?