My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1448: Chapter 1243: Tedious

Even though you were so precious back then, the longing turned to ashes, and we couldn’t go back to the past.

”Child, do you know? The most important thing between a husband and wife is loyalty. If there’s no loyalty, then the breakdown of the marriage is not far off. I once forgot what loyalty was, didn’t know what loyalty truly meant, and hurt the one who loved me the most. This is my greatest regret in this life. Time and again, I made decisions that hurt those who loved me the most.

Why can’t I keep those who love me close, yet I constantly find ways to hurt them, pushing them away and making them leave me? My heart aches so badly; sometimes, I become numb that I don’t know what kind of life I want or what kind of person I wish to love. I just know I miss him a lot. Even during the years with your father, I still missed him greatly.

You might think that as your mother, I seem somewhat indecisive and unfaithful to my husband. But do you know?

He loved me so much and sacrificed his whole world for me. I’m not heartless; I can feel it. How could I want things to turn out this way?

Everything in the world is fair. Whatever you do will bring about corresponding consequences. Cause and effect are inevitable. The mistakes I made in the past ultimately come back to haunt me, no matter how big or small, circling around me like retribution, making it so that I have no way to turn things around. My only regret in life is why I did those things back then, hurting someone who loved me so deeply. I lost the entire world; my world already collapsed. Though there was a bit of love during that time with your father, he wasn’t the one I loved the most.

Remember, child, no matter what difficulties or temptations you face, never betray the one who loves you the most.

In both love and marriage, betrayal cannot be endured. Once it occurs, it leads to destruction!

During that time, I waited day and night for him to respond to my messages. I set his messages as my top priority, waiting day after day, night after night, watching my phone. I hoped he would reply, even if it was to scold me, but in the end, I got nothing. It was at that moment I realized I truly lost him, lost the whole world!

Time and again, I begged him not to delete me, to leave me the slightest connection. Yet he cruelly abandoned everything we had. I am truly despairing, facing a world where I see nothing; my mind has lost all motivation, my heart completely hollowed out. I only know that I’ve seen the darkest corner, which is the border of death!”

Only Zhang Yichen’s mother shared these heartfelt words with him, making everything even more unbelievable. He never thought his parents were so in love, only to find out it was all a facade. His mother had a first love early on, giving him everything. He never imagined his mother lived such a ”happy” life, nor did he realize how she spent those years.

Perhaps, as everyone says, only you can truly understand your life’s every Chapter and its different consequences. Not knowing what fate awaits, perhaps such a life leaves no way to change it. Everyone lives so arduously, so tired.

”Mom, did you think that his steps were too fast at the time, leaving you with no way to follow, yet you kept on stepping in his footsteps, thinking that as long as you followed in his view, you could be with him forever? But you didn’t realize that when you gave up all your principles, all that you cared about, and lied to your family repeatedly just to be with him, you still lost him. It was only after losing him that you understood he was the most important person, always longing to be with him for life. You never imagined that man plans, but heaven dictates. Fate would bring such pain, robbing you of chances. You only wanted a stable companionship by his side, but heaven took all opportunity away, leaving you helpless your whole life!

But in your heart, you’re well aware that even if you had kept pace with him, he might not have been yours. Everything is uncertain. Unless you were truly engaged and walked down the aisle of marriage, even with the best relationship, breakups might still happen. But you didn’t realize you were getting deeper and deeper until your whole self was trapped. You just hoped to see him once more, to find joy in his smile, to feel heartache at his discomfort more than anyone else.

Yet you lost him all the same. Losing him was a fate destined from the start, but you’re forever unable to forget him because he is permanently imprinted on your mind. Everything he gave you, the joy, the love, the sacrifices, are all etched into your heart, irremovable until perhaps the day you’re in your coffin, and you can forget everything. But I guess you don’t want to forget either?”

”You’re right; I will remember everything he gave me, etching it in my heart forever. I won’t replace my heart; even when I’m laid to rest, I’ll still remember it because he is the only one I ever loved. Maybe my love was too rampant, flooding everything. Yet who knows, every road traveled remains etched in my mind, impossible to forget.

I walked each path, once walked with him, arriving at places where my mind is filled with his silhouette, impossible to erase. Even his every heartfelt gesture, who could understand such pain? This pain is unforgettable for a lifetime, and I’d rather live in such agony than forget him!”

It’s easy to remember someone, but hard to forget them. It’s possible you’ll never forget this person’s place in your heart, and no one can truly see inside you.