My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1433: Chapter 1228: Never Forget Your Original Aspiration

I once thought we could live together without forgetting our original intentions, but in the end, who can really stay true to the end?

Xia Jing seemed as if he had made up his mind to leave. Here, he was explaining things to everyone, feeling that he must make everything clear. To prevent his family from being hurt, so that every person in the household could continue to live happily, some matters would have to be faced sooner or later.

”My dearest son, I’m sorry. My presence has brought pressure to your life once again, and I truly feel sorry. For years, I’ve longed to return to this home and be by my son’s side. To me, nothing is happier than living with my son. But in the end, I realized that everything I did and thought was too selfish. I never considered whether you needed such a life. Over the years, I’ve never given you a mother’s love, not even a day’s companionship. It’s me, as a mother, who’s been unqualified. I’ve hurt you over and over again. Whether you resent me or hate me, I have no regrets.

But I hope you can take good care of your grandfather and father. All the arguments they had were because of me. It’s my existence that has turned them into this. I hope you can consider things carefully, consider whether your father and grandfather did anything wrong. Whatever they did, it was for the family, for loving you. Everything they did was for the good of the family. But I disregarded all the interests of the family, threw away the family interests, and treated everyone in the family as tools for my use. I never considered your feelings. Whether you hate me or not, I don’t care. I only care if you all can be happy and peaceful, if you all can live happily ever after. To me, nothing is more important than that. As long as you are happy, even if I leave and never return, I will be willing.

You know, over the years, your mother has done so many bad things. Every step I’ve taken to today is a destined conclusion, already set in stone. No matter what, I will never deserve forgiveness from others. Everything I’ve done is indeed unforgivable. But I do not regret it, because everything I did was following my heart. The thing I regret the most in my life was leaving you. Leaving you is a pain I can never erase. For many years, I’ve missed my child, missed being able to return home, missed every relative at home. But I had already taken that step and there was no turning back. Do you know how desperate I was? I was afraid, afraid the people at home had prejudices against me, afraid no one at home would let me stay by your side, afraid my actions would bring harm to you again and again. Yet in the end, I still did something that hurt you.”

”I don’t understand why you are telling me this, why these things you think should be done by you. If you think you owe me, then all the more you should stay and accompany me, return all the love you’ve owed me these years. Deep down, I’ve always longed for the love of my parents, but I’ve never gotten it. Do you know how hard and difficult my life has been? I’ve never considered what kind of ending I would come to, I only longed for you to be happy.

Saying I don’t hate you is impossible. I resented you because I know your actions have hurt me. I can’t make myself completely indifferent to everything. I also wish for my life to be somewhat bright. But what have I gained in the end from everything I’ve done? Time after time, I climbed higher, reaching the pinnacle of life, stepping on everyone else. At that moment of triumph, deep down, I felt proud, but I was also in pain because my dad and mom didn’t see it. I’ve come this far all because of you, and yet you are forever distant, never witnessing what that day was truly like!

When I was taking over other people’s companies, listening to their CEOs beg me for mercy, to spare them a way out, do you know how cold-blooded I was? I heartlessly destroyed all of them, drove every one of them out of the company, leaving them to fend for themselves. I felt I was mimicking you because that’s how you treated me, you shaped my mindset. It was because you hurt me that I hurt thousands of employees. Do you know how desperate those people were at that moment? They might have had elders and children to care for, relying on that salary to keep their family running, yet I heartlessly drove them out.

Don’t you feel I’m truly terrifying now? Why have I become like this? Haven’t you thought about why your son turned out this way? You wanted your son to be happy, but is your son happy now? Your son is unhappy; instead, he is living in much pain and suffering, all brought upon by my own hands. I have no choice but to bear it alone in pain.

I can very well understand that kind of revenge, that pleasure from others’ pain, how proud, how happy it feels. When I inflicted all my pain onto others, when everyone was begging me, do you know how happy I was? I was laughing out loud, unable to hide the excitement in my heart. Seeing them beg me, I felt like the most successful person in the world. I could lord over, but in the end, I realized what if I gained the whole world? I’d never be able to recover the childhood I missed or find the parental love I lacked as a child.

They all think they’re pitiful, but they had happier childhoods than me, at least their parents were there with them. I was just a lonely person. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up with parental company. I only know to repay hatred, mergers were my only way out. Only by swallowing one company after another could my company grow strong. This world is survival of the fittest; the weak are eliminated. If they have no capability, they will be driven out step by step by me!”

Beneath the brows, there was warmth expressed. But you and I, in the end, are not the same kind of people. We still can’t get along happily.