My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1436: Chapter 1231: All Maturity Is Built Upon Pain

”Nai’er, do you know? There was a time when everyone thought I had endured quite a bit, but who really knows why I became the way I did, and why I had to choose this way to make myself different.”

”Yes, you have indeed become very mature now, and that’s exactly why I feel scared. Why, why do you have to become so mature? If you hadn’t matured like this, how could I have lost all my chances? Yet, there’s never a place for me in your heart. I truly don’t understand, am I really that insignificant in your heart? Why can I never enter your innermost being? I really want to open your heart and see if there’s a place for me, but I can’t. I want you to live happily, not have your life’s happiness and peace destroyed by my presence!”

Zhihan, promise me that come what may, you must live happily. No matter what troubles you face, at least tell me, if you see me as a friend, don’t stand on ceremony. If there’s anything I can help with, I will do my best to help you. If one day you truly end up with him, don’t forget there’s someone standing silently behind you, always waiting for you. Though this relationship has failed, I cannot immediately find another girl to live with. I’m not a frivolous man; I have always been steadfast in my feelings. Since I’ve chosen you, I will stay with you. Please don’t despise me.

I don’t know how your relationship with your husband has always been good, maybe it’s my intrusion that led to this situation. I’m sincerely apologizing for this. I didn’t intend to destroy your relationship. I really couldn’t control my thoughts. I just wanted to embrace the woman I love most, but in the end, this is the result I got, causing so much conflict between you and your husband. This is my fault, and I sincerely apologize to you both, hoping that you can forgive me.”

”Chen Gang, don’t say that. Ultimately, this isn’t just your fault. Actually, I have my own mistakes. I shouldn’t have doubted you, I shouldn’t have hurt you this way. For you, this might be the most hurtful pain. Clearly, the girl you love is right in front of you, but you can’t embrace her. Your heart must feel defeated, but I can’t go against my principles. Since I’ve chosen to live forever with my husband, I can only have him in my life and must not entangle with any other men.

You shouldn’t apologize to me; the one who should apologize is actually me. It’s my fault for making you wait all these years, while I was kept in the dark, unaware of your waiting. I’m sorry for not giving you a complete relationship, for not providing a complete family. It’s my fault for wasting so much of your youth. They say a woman’s youth is precious, but isn’t a man’s youth equally precious? You’ve given all your youth because of me. Don’t waste any more time waiting for me. Live well, plan carefully for your future, strive hard for your achievements, and find your true love who will be by your side for life, even aiding you in your career. Thank you...”

When Zhang Yichen suddenly heard Chen Gang say he was going to give up, why did he suddenly feel reluctant for him to give up? She always thought it was nice to have someone here with her as her husband so that she could always have something to do, to argue with someone every day, just to prove who loves their wife more.

”Are you really planning to give up now? Are you truly willing to step back, willing to never disturb the life between me and my wife again for the rest of your life? Do you find it easy to let go? She’s such a perfect girl, you’ve known her for so many years, do you think you can genuinely let her go?”

”What does it matter whether I let go or not? I remember your wife once told me, ’What is meant to be yours will be yours, and what isn’t yours, you can’t force.’ There are countless beauties in the world; don’t be a fool trying to force what isn’t meant to be.

You should understand what this means, right? Since she’s said that, what more can I do? I’m powerless.

In my life, I’ve never been so defeated. I’ve never been denied anything I wanted, but this time I finally understand there are things in this world I can’t obtain. For instance, your wife, the girl I love most, even though I’ve given everything, she still won’t live with me. From this point on, I’ve already lost to you, because the girl I love doesn’t want to be with me. But do you know? I wish time could turn back, back to a few years ago, back to the time when, if I had truly confessed my feelings, would this tragedy still have happened?

Sometimes I don’t know whether I should hate you or thank you. I always feel that because of you, I lost the girl I love most. But on the other hand, you take care of her so well, with such meticulous attention, that I’m deeply touched. My feelings are very conflicted. I don’t know what attitude I should have towards you. I don’t know how to describe this attitude. But do you know? I just want you to treat her well, not to hurt her kind heart. She can’t bear such pain.”

”Of course, I know how to cherish my wife. I don’t need an outsider like you to teach me. Remember, you’ve admitted that you’ve lost everything, lost your qualifications. Even if there’s something you want in the future, you can tell me, but you can’t go looking for my wife, because I will completely sever the connection between you and her. I won’t let you two meet again.

But thank you, because of your presence, even though we’ve argued quite a lot, I have to admit. It’s because of you that I realize how much my wife cares about me and this family. Rest assured, as long as you can leave here peacefully, return to where you truly belong, I will treat her well. I will never let you down. No matter what, she is my wife. How could I bear to see her heartbroken? Don’t you agree?”

Chen Gang smiled. Since he’s already lost, lost completely, why continue to force himself? It’s time to leave happily without burdens.

”Some people think maturity is just a process of gradually growing up, but who knows that maturity often stems from pain. Only when you truly suffer do you understand how deeply that pain is etched into your heart, leaving you wounded again and again, unable to escape, forcing you to make decisions you least want to make time and again...”