My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1435: Chapter 1230: Everyone Has Experienced It

Some people always say you never truly experienced the pain of adoration. You couldn’t understand the depths of my suffering back then, but who knows, that pain is not something everyone must endure, yet no one can truly escape it.

”Since you yourself already said it, that man personally told you he no longer has any feelings for you, then why are you still so devoted to staying with him?

Is it that I’m not good to you, or am I not as good as her? Am I not good-looking, or where did I wrong you? Why would you do such heartless things to me?

In your heart, do you not see me as your husband at all? Is our family’s safety so trivial to you? Where do you put your family in your heart? Since you chose to form a family with me in the beginning, you must take responsibility for this family. By acting like this now, what do you take everyone in this family for? Pieces that you can want or discard at will?”

Zhang Zhentian was genuinely growing more and more upset. He had never imagined that his wife would one day behave like this.

He didn’t understand how such a lively and cheerful woman in front of him became how she is now. Why is everything he says nothing in her eyes, and everything he does is wrong in her sight?

Perhaps every day he just doesn’t know, if one person doesn’t love another, no matter how overbearing that person is, it has no effect. Seemingly always keeping him in mind but ultimately, it amounts to nothing.

”Don’t say that, I was really happy being with you. You gave me everything I wanted. You asked me if I could bear any cost, but did you really never think about the type of life I wanted, and what kind of ending we would have together? Time and time again, with autocratic results disrupting my life!

Have you ever considered what kind of life I want? I live in unbearable pain every day. Who has given me the happiness I desire? Time and time again, I struggle in pain and torment. I also want to obtain the life I wish for, but ultimately, what did you give me?

I once asked if he could continue to cry or smile for me, but ultimately I can’t get that back. When I held him from behind time and time again, did you know my heart was cursing in pain? It really hurt a lot then. I really wanted to hold on to him forever and never let go. I longed for time to stop at that moment forever, but is Heaven really protecting me in this way? It won’t!

When I held her, time and time again I silently prayed in my heart, Heaven, let time flow a little slower, or let it stop forever at that moment, never to pass. But when I lifted my head, I found time had indeed passed, and he still turned away, leaving just me standing silently waiting at that spot. How lonely, how desperate I was, who can comprehend?

You might think people shouldn’t be so selfish, but do you know what I want is just that simple, just to stay by his side, and for me, everything else can be forsaken.

These years I’ve been constantly thinking for others, yet ultimately, what kind of result have I achieved? In my heart, that’s a failed outcome. No matter how much I think of others, in their eyes, what am I really?

I disregarded the torment of physical pain and chose to be with him. All I wanted was to see him smile just once. Even if my heart is bleeding, as long as he smiles, I can still be very happy.

Perhaps you think I’m foolish and naive to do this, but do you know this is true love. I don’t need him to give me any emotions now, nor do I need him to place his heart on me. It’s enough that I give her my heart. Whether in the end, I’m left bruised and battered, or I gain my lifelong happiness doesn’t matter as long as I regret nothing myself. That’s enough. I’ve lost him time and again, and this time I really don’t want to lose him anymore; if I lose her once more, I don’t even know how long I could continue living... ”

Zhang Zhentian couldn’t believe his wife loved that man so deeply. She was willing to forsake even her own life for him. What was he in her eyes, after all? Just a stand-in for feelings time and again? Is it really just due to displacement?

”I never imagined that you could love her so deeply, willing to forsake everything for him, even your own life. Why couldn’t you do that for me just once? I remember when we were together before, you pretended to love me dearly. At that moment, I really thought I had entered a paradise of happiness, only to find out later it was just the beginning of hell’s suffering!

Even if in this life you refuse to be with me and in your heart I don’t exist, could you consider my feelings a bit? I just want to live my life healthy, happy, and joyful, even if just a little bit. But have I ever genuinely been happy all these years? No, I roamed around everywhere for you, forsaking my entire family, enduring the pains of longing for you.

I knew my father was waiting for this son to come home and see him. I knew my father was eagerly anticipating our return.

But despite knowing all this, I still chose to act ignorant for your happiness. Do you know how desperate I was? Do you know how hard my father lived? You’ve never considered what kind of life we wanted, your decisions were just for satisfying your own desires, time and again!

Could it be that the truly selfish one isn’t you? The things you did, are you not aware of them in the least?

Don’t delude yourself about others forgiving you, because what you’ve done makes it impossible for others to forgive you in this life. You’ll forever live in your pain, trapped in your world, and never emerge because you won’t have any path to return in this lifetime. You’ll only suffer the tortures of pain, endure heartache time and again, and ultimately this is just reaping what you’ve sown!”

Many times, I’ve already forgotten what I desire most, but I’ve experienced those things, and no one has never cared to understand, no one comprehends one’s own pain. Everyone should walk towards the happiness and joy they should receive. Why repeatedly harm everyone around them using such ways?