My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1425: Chapter 1220: Not Qualified to Give Up

No one in this world lives easily, we should have our own path to follow, and we should make our lives extraordinary.

”Zhentian, if there is a next life, I would still be willing to live together with you again because you truly are a great man. But now I can’t continue living with you. The paths we’ve chosen have already determined the kind of outcome we will face in the future, so I don’t want such an outcome to embarrass us even more.

Since today is the last time we will meet, listen to what I have to say from the bottom of my heart. When I first got together with you and looked at you, my heart suddenly skipped a beat. I knew at that moment I had deeply fallen for you, and there was no way to change it for the rest of my life.

But later, I realized that even though I love you so much, I am nothing in your heart. I don’t know why you chose to be with me in the first place, but when I was with you, it wasn’t for your money, your family background, or your status. If I cared about those things, I could have found a man a thousand times better than you, but I didn’t. I only knew I was a common girl and couldn’t compare to those from a Wealthy Family, so I couldn’t have a marriage that matched your status. From the start, your father also opposed us being together. At that time, I was truly disheartened. I never thought my road to love would be so difficult. But when I saw you stand up against your father for me, I realized you truly loved me. Whether that love was feigned or had other intentions, it comforted me. From then on, I didn’t want much. I only hoped the person I loved could selflessly give to me, love me, truly consider me part of his life plan.

Although the decisions we made then were hard for us to believe, looking back, that youthful recklessness is a precious memory for us. Thinking back to that time, I was really happy. Thank you for giving me so many memories; these memories can never be erased in this lifetime, they will always remain in my heart. Whether you forget them or not is beyond my control. Maybe you’ll turn around and forget, but I won’t. I genuinely loved you from the start, but you chose to use me. There’s no need for you to explain now; my intuition was accurate. Even though I knew you were using me, I still followed after you despite everything, even though in the end, I knew I would be hurt completely. I still wanted to be with you despite it all. I only hoped to be with you without expecting anything else. But in the end, what kind of reward did you give me that resulted in your distrust and doubts? Do you think I need such a marriage anymore? Wouldn’t it be better to end it early, as it wasn’t the happiest marriage for either of us? During those times, I didn’t know if you were happy, but I was very happy. The happiest time in my life was in those years, when you could give up everything at home for me and wander the world with me, homeless. I’m very grateful for that. I can never repay what you gained from me in this lifetime. I know you lost a lot, and because you lost those things, I can’t make up for it. But I hope you understand many things. Since you’ve already made a decision, don’t think about reconciling with me, as it’s an unrealistic idea...

I’ve said everything I need to say, so think about what you want to say. Since today is the last time we meet, if you don’t say it now, there won’t be another chance.”

Zhang Zhentian knew every word Xia Jing said was true. He understood that if this woman chose to hide and not see him again, he wouldn’t be able to find her even if he searched every corner of the world. The power behind her was too strong for him to make it vanish, so he could only comply. Therefore, he needed to seize this moment to speak, or he might not have another chance to speak.

”Maybe you think I had ulterior motives when I first got together with you, and that I didn’t love you. But I have no regrets being with you, and I still love you even without you by my side. It was only after you left me that I realized that kind of love can’t simply be forgotten. But I must bear the consequences of my mistakes. I can’t always push all the blame onto you and make you take the fall for me. I know that every decision I made back then hurt you, but you never left me. You always stayed by my side, and that brings me great comfort. Even knowing these matters were unfair to you, I still never stood up to say a word for you or consider your perspective. This was my failure as a husband and my failure as a man. I won’t be like I was before. Maybe you can forget me, but I need to figure out what I truly want in my heart and what kind of life I want. I’ve realized I wasn’t truly mercenary. I could give up all benefits for my love. I could do anything for love before, and now I can still give up everything for the one I love. I don’t care about money, status, fame, or power. What I care about is whether I can achieve the life I want, the life I envision, which is missing you, so it’s not perfect. I believe with my efforts, I can still find you and build my perfect life. I hope you will wait for the day when I find you. No matter where you’ve gone, I’ll find you, even if it’s at the ends of the earth. Even if I die in the process, I’ll continue until I find you, without regret or complaint.

I ask for nothing and want nothing, only that on the day I find you, don’t give me despair again. I just want you to be with me. If you give me despair again, I would truly collapse. My life can’t handle such ups and downs. I have already realized my mistakes. The despair you gave me made me deeply feel the approach of death. I know that kind of despair is terrifying!”

Delete what’s to be deleted, so what if fingers linger? If everything could start anew, it would be better if we never met, never loved!