My Alleged Husband

Chapter 699: Chapter 669: Sad Me_1

Of course, he only heard his own son speaking these words when he was not in his presence, which made it all the more unbelievable. Could it be that the woman before him truly did not care about her husband’s actions or any of her own feelings? Did she only care about the benefits before her eyes? But to a woman who was already empty, nothing else mattered. What was important was that the emotions she had longed for internally had finally erupted. That kind of love could not be replaced by anyone else. That kind of love was a pain that came from the heart, a pain that no one else could understand. No one could comprehend the depth and agony that this love had brought onto a person, slowly drawing oneself into a chasm of suffering, with no way to escape from that abyss ever again in one’s lifetime. One could only struggle in agony within that abyss, desperately seeking help, even if it meant grasping at the last straw to save oneself, reaching out for her own Qiusheng, but in the end, one would still be overwhelmed by the pain, forever living in agony, with no hope of emerging from it.

Xia Jing sensed the feelings in Old Master Zhang’s heart, and knew that what she had done might not be proper to speak so directly, which could really hurt the harmony of a family. She apologized to her father-in-law.

”Father, I’m sorry, I know he is your son, and when you hear me, his daughter-in-law, say such things, your heart must be indignant for your son. But I really don’t want to conceal my feelings anymore. I just want to live with the person I love the most. If the man I love could return to my side, I would give up everything. I would even give up my own life. If time could give me one chance, I would rather stand in the middle of the road and let every car run over me, crushing me to pieces, just to see the man I love one last time in the hospital. That would be the happiest thing for me. If I could see him look at me one more time, I would be content. Why does life have to be so full of obstacles? Why must my life be filled with them? Why can’t I just live happily for once? Time and time again, life has pushed me toward the abyss of suffering, and my actions have destroyed all the happiness I had.

My source of happiness was buried by my own hands; I don’t know how many wrongs I’ve done in this life, or how many people I’ve wronged. But I know that this time, I really fell for someone who moved my heart, and once you fall, don’t expect to win. I understood that from the moment I knew I had fallen for him with all my heart, I knew there would be no winning for me in this life, for my heart had been given to him. No matter where he goes, my heart will follow, even if it’s to the ends of the earth, I will follow him.

In this life, I myself do not know how pathetic I’ve lived. The person I want will never be mine, the career I want is never smooth. I just want to know why within the same kingdom, in the same year, I must endure so many experiences, so many setbacks. The person I want left me, my career crashed, I want to live happily, but I struggle time and again in the endless nights. I’m calling for help, wishing that the bright life could come to save me, and that bright life can only come through her, my first love!

”Forget it, whatever I say won’t get through to you. I don’t want to get involved with whatever is going on between you and my son anymore. Do what you will, just hope that you guys can be kind to each other in the end, and not do things that make each other more sad. Can’t the past just be the past? Must we bring it up over and over again, and make everyone suffer unbearably?”

”I’ve thought about it myself, but for him, I can disregard my own safety; even if I end up in the hospital from drinking too much, I’m willing to face that moment. I know that in this life, I have already fallen too deep to pull myself out. I don’t know how to make my presence felt anymore. I could only choose to hurt her, but I never expected that by hurting her, I’d be tormenting myself even more. How many centuries will it take to wait for him to turn back to me? I do not know. Time and time again, I dial his number, only to find out I’m blocked. Who can understand my despair, my pain? When I saw that he deleted all my messages and all traces of me, who could know how desperate I felt in my heart? Over and over, I remind myself not to make mistakes. As long as I’m happy with him, why should everyone be unhappy because of me? But I still let him down in the end; I still lost him. Thinking back on the days and nights we spent together, the times he was by my side, how much pain must be in one’s heart? Watching the night view, which is colorful in everyone’s eyes, but in mine, it looks sad and loses its luster. I can’t see any light, no matter where I reach out, it’s just darkness to me. That has become a dark place, the eternal darkness in my heart, with no way to find the light, unless he can return to my side!”

Perhaps you will never be able to fathom my pain, but I really want to tell you that I love him. I love him so much that I would do anything. I would give up my own life for him, forsake all that I care about. But in the end, I still couldn’t keep him by my side. Just how incapable must I be to not even keep the one I love most? I’ve thought about what it would take to win him back.

I won’t bring up these matters again. I will think about how I can live happily, but I can’t make myself happy. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is us holding hands. For so many years, I’ve never forgotten the happy times we had together. The happiness with him was the most blissful moment of my life. Maybe that time is gone, but in my heart, I will always love him, no matter where he is, whether he marries and has children, I will love him for a lifetime, and never forget. This love is deep-rooted, a love that comes from within, invulnerable to any form of erosion. Maybe time will prove everything, but time is also a liar!”