My Alleged Husband

Chapter 688: Chapter 658: Clearly Aware_1

Zhang Zhentian was well aware that the pain he had brought into his son’s heart might never fade away in his lifetime.

What parent doesn’t understand that their son doesn’t know the choices they once made, how much pain they would bring to their own flesh and blood? Yet, in the end, they could only pretend that none of it had ever happened. Only if they chose to forget would others possibly treat it all as just a dream.

Why did he always bring pain to his child in his lifetime? Was it really so difficult to let him live a happy life under his wing? He didn’t really want all this, what he wanted was just for his family, his loved ones, everyone to be happy and joyful. Why did every decision he made, every incident, every action always turn out the opposite of what he had envisioned? Why could he never make his family truly happy?

Was it that everything he did was never quite right? Why couldn’t he make his loved ones happy, or could it be because he never did a single good deed in his life? He didn’t ask for much, just to make his family happy, so why did all his actions ultimately turn everything to nothing?

Why did the people he loved leave him one after another? Was it because he had done something wrong? Did one mistake really lead to a lifetime of hatred? Why couldn’t they forgive him just once? Perhaps it was the repeated hurt that made everything so complicated, that made everyone not want to stay by his side and only want to leave him far behind. Perhaps it was because of his actions that everyone’s hearts were so filled with pain and anguish.

If Heaven would really give him another chance, he would never do anything to make his family sad again. The things he had done had changed everyone so much, but why was it that he never received his comeuppance? If Heaven were truly willing to forgive him, then please send a bolt of thunder to strike him, right on target, so he could leave this world forever and never open his eyes again. Opening his eyes only brought pain with no joy; the pain covered his eyes, shrouding his entire heart, letting the pain spread throughout.

It was only when the pain in his heart spread throughout his whole body that he truly understood what he wanted. But by then, it was really too late. He had lost the person who loved him most, he had lost his entire world, and all he could do was silently shed tears. There was no way to turn everything back because everything was the result of his actions. He couldn’t blame anyone else. Maybe Heaven was indeed fair. Because he hurt him, he truly left him and never came back.

”Child, you might never understand a certain kind of pain, that comes from leaving the person you love the most, especially when the person you love the most gives up on you forever because of your mistakes. You’ve never experienced that pain. Before I met your father, do you understand? I had a very, very good boyfriend.”

Being with him was the happiest and most blissful time of my life. He gave me a happiness that no one else could ever give; he gave me all his love. He gave all his love until I peeled it away layer by layer like an onion. Do you know how much his heart hurt?

I don’t know how to empathize with that kind of pain, all I know is that he was really desperate. He desperately deleted all my contact information, and you never thought about how I got through those years. Every day I was living as if the days were dragging by, thinking of him constantly, wanting him to come back to me, but to no avail.

When he left, he was gone for good, and he would never return to my side. I knew fully well that I had truly lost him forever because my actions hurt him. I tried to add him back again and again, but he ignored me every time. Eventually, he changed all his contact information. You can’t imagine how desperate I felt then. I finally understood the depth of his despair, finally realizing how much damage I had caused him. I regretted it so much, regretted my actions. If it hadn’t been for my stubbornness, my inexplicable whims, how could I have committed such abominable actions against him? He loved me so much, was willing to give me the whole world, and in the end, he said that all his plans included me. But how did it end up? Do you know what kind of pain that is? It’s unforgettable pain that cuts to the bone. You think the hurt we caused you is bone-deep pain, a pain etched into the bones. Then do you know? The pain I caused her was a pain etched into her heart. But when I found out all his contact information, that he had erased all traces of our time together, I realized he had truly given up hope. And I knew, there was no chance in this lifetime to see him again. The world is so big, where should I go to find him? I don’t know his family’s exact address. I’m just living day by day without direction...”

Zhang Yichen was stunned as he listened to his mother’s words. He had never imagined that his mother had experienced such a deep and unforgettable love. It turned out that his mother was not cold and heartless. She just knew that her actions had hurt that person and that she could no longer live as she had before. Still, she made decisions that hurt her loved ones again and again. In fact, her heart was not bad, she just forgot how to respect others, how to love others, and thought only of living selfishly. Maybe this way, everyone’s hearts wouldn’t be reminded of the pain of the past. But she forgot that the greatest thing in this world is respect, is mutual trust, is loyalty...