My Alleged Husband

Chapter 690: Chapter 660 Bitter Memories (Part 1)_1

Zhang Yichen had truly never considered his own mother and the possibility that she might have experienced such things. He felt that his parents had abandoned him simply because they didn’t love their child. But how could he have known what his mother had gone through, the sceneries she had seen along the path she walked, how arduous every step she took was? No one knew. He always lived in pain, time and again, never once considering what kind of life he truly wanted. He constantly confused himself, striving to become the strongest person in the world. However, he had never thought that his repeated abandonments would ultimately cause the deepest wound in his own son’s heart. He felt that this pain, perhaps as a mother, he would never be able to make amends for it in this lifetime. But she really couldn’t bear it! No matter what, that was her own flesh and blood. How could a parent willingly bring about their own child’s misery? He kept recalling the moments of leaving home from his past, but there was nothing he could do. He knew this was an outcome he could never change in his lifetime.

”Mom, perhaps you don’t know what kind of love I truly desire within my heart. In your and dad’s eyes, you always feel that your own son is a bit spoiled, having never suffered any hardship. But do you know? The hardships I have faced are no less than yours.

You always feel that the road you have walked in life is the hardest, but have you ever considered what kind of pain I went through as a child? Step by step, I’ve reached where I am today, without you realizing the footprints I’ve left behind. Do you know? During those demonic training sessions in my childhood, when I got injured, it was always elsewhere. As the wounds on my body split open, and the blood flowed with my body, dropping drip by drip down to my feet, then imprinted on the ground by my own steps—do you understand what kind of pain that is? It’s a pain etched into my bones, a searing agony that nobody can truly comprehend. I’ve always persevered, never surrendered to anyone, nor begged for mercy, because I know the only way to make others eternally submit to you is to become strong myself. If all I did was beg for mercy, why would others repeatedly listen to me, give me chances, and let me surpass them?

Since then, I’ve silently vowed in my heart never to seek anyone’s help. I will climb to the peak of life through my own efforts, step by step. I want to make everyone submit at my feet, to have everyone by my side, with no way to leave me. Because they need to earn money under me, because I can offer them a wealthy life, and they can only maintain their family expenses through the salary I provide. How proud I should be then, and that’s why I desperately raced upwards, never once looking down at the injuries I had suffered until after I achieved success and realized just how much hardship I had endured before.

Now, when I recall the hardships I once faced, they really don’t seem like anything, because now I live smoother and wealthier than anyone else. But no one knows what kind of answers I have received for myself.

Similarly, I never considered, mom, that you too might have walked this path. How I long for you to live a happy life, even though you abandoned me. Yet, I still regard you as my most beloved mom, because you gave me life. At the very least, I understand gratitude and indebtedness. If not for you, how could there be me, and without me, how could today be as it is?

In fact, the hardships that my parents suffered were not at all less than mine. Your childhoods were very much like mine. When you were in your deepest pain, you had each other’s company and comfort, while I could only endure all the pain silently by myself.

Because I couldn’t cry, nor let my grandfather know. If grandpa found out, how heartbroken he would be, how sad. He never wanted me to suffer any harm; he spoiled and cherished me as if I were a treasure, giving me everything I wanted. But I couldn’t be like that. I had to earn everything I wanted through my own efforts. Only that is eternal. If I relied on my grandfather for what I wanted, then if one day my grandfather left me, would those things also disappear with his departure? I am truly afraid. Only what I earn with my own hands is truly eternal. I just want to obtain what I most desire, and I have indeed achieved it—I have met all my demands. Now, I have no regrets at all. If one day, I suddenly leave this world for another realm, just like my grandfather, I wouldn’t be sad, because I have given my wife a life of luxury. The only thing I haven’t given her is my most important companionship in this lifetime. I really, really wish time could turn back. If time could turn back even a little, how happy I would be. If that were the case, when I was a child, I would have taken good care of myself and not let myself suffer such painful harm.

Sometimes, when I recall the blood I shed back then, it’s shocking. Why was there so much blood? That blood flowed from my own body; imagine how painful it must have been. At that time, I became numb to pain, with no sensation of the severe agony throughout my body. All I knew was that only by training hard, pushing through my suffering, could everything become better!”

”My child, I’m sorry. Your dad and I never imagined your life to be so painful. All your suffering is what we, as parents, have caused you. Do you understand? I also wanted you to be happy, but in the end, our actions still hurt you. If you truly hate us, we can stay out of your life forever. You can live in peace, but I just wish to silently watch over you from behind, to look after our own son. We want you to be cheerful and have a blissful and safe life...”