My Alleged Husband

Chapter 686: Chapter 656 Leaving You, My Greatest Pain_1

”No matter which one of you makes me a promise, I won’t believe it, because the least credible thing in this world is someone else’s pledge. For a promise made, it invariably becomes a lie as time goes by—all too soon, everyone fails to keep the promises they once made!

If you couldn’t keep the promises you made in the first place, then why so easily make them to others? I remember everything you said before, no matter why you left me, but I will never forgive you again.

I know you are my dad and mom, and I’m aware that you are my birth parents. There are some things I can’t change, but there are outcomes I can definitely deal with in any way I see fit.

I realize that you don’t approve of some of the ways I handle things because they eventually hurt your feelings for each other. However, you have no clue why I became like this—why I made every decision I did. After all, there’s always a reason behind each decision, isn’t there?”

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing were acutely aware, deep down, of why their son would say such things. The actions they’d taken in the past were unforgivable to anyone; as a child, he’d done well even to reach this point. He’d forgiven his parents, who had hurt him, time and again without holding grudges or voicing the discontent in his heart. In consideration of his family, he’d repeatedly let go of all prejudice, only to be met with deceit in the end. How could his heart not ache? Just like anyone else, his heart was made of flesh. When people err, pleas from the sidelines soften hearts; he wasn’t heartless—when facing his parents, his heart was tormented just the same, filled with conflict and unease. He didn’t know what decisions to make to be responsible to his family, to his parents, to uphold this household.

They both knew how hard their son’s life had been over these years, how weary he had become.

Yet, despite knowing the life their child had endured, they, as parents, were powerless to mend the situation. Fully aware of who had brought this pain, they could only continue to live in his world as if nothing were wrong, knowing too well that any wrong move could disrupt an otherwise peaceful life and ultimately make it impossible for the family to carry on.

In their hearts, they also understood that some things, once done, are irrevocable—no matter how painful the outcome might be, they had to silently bear all the agony. In the end, every bit of it stemmed from their own actions.

”Child, since your parents have made these promises to you this time, you can confidently do everything you want. As your parents, we won’t interfere with any decisions you make. I hope you’ll think it over carefully. If there is anything you need help with from us, just ask boldly, and we, as your parents, will spare no effort to assist you. We’ve failed you in so many ways before. Perhaps only this help can compensate for the guilt in our hearts. Give us a chance to atone, will you? We’ve caused you so much harm in the past, and we can no longer live as we used to, but I’m trying my best to change—to change our state of mind, to change the way we feel about each other, isn’t that so?

We really hope you can give us a chance to make amends. Being apart from you is the deepest pain of my life; I never thought it could be so excruciating, never imagined that leaving you would be so unbearable. Perhaps this is a test fate has given me, to accept the pain inflicted by my own child, because of my own actions that hurt my family and destroyed all that should have been happy. I have no choice but to accept all these decisions!

Child, we’ve suffered profound pain from leaving you. If, for the love of us being your parents, you can find it in yourself to give us a chance to reform, please, don’t cut all ties. I believe heaven has eyes. Whatever one does, heaven sees it all clear and bright. If it’s something I’ve done, there is no way to return to the beginning. Once a heart is wounded, it stays that way forever, irreversible—that I know too well. I realize I’ve hurt you as a child, you’ve lost all hope in us as your parents. Perhaps there’s no way to heal your broken heart, but please, believe us—we really can give everything to provide you with a bright future because you are our son, and we will give our all to help you, to love you!”

”Then there’s no need to talk about this anymore. Just keep in mind, a heart that’s been harassed can never return to its initial state. You should realize how deeply you’ve hurt me, how much I detest you now. I can’t just forgive you completely because of a few nice words; I really can’t do it.

Everyone’s despair accumulates little by little, disappointment after disappointment, until it brings utter hopelessness. When one person despairs of another, there’s no chance for them to return to the beginning for the rest of their lives, no matter how deeply they loved the other. Once hurt, always hurt—there’s no going back to the time when feelings were fresh. So, the damage you’ve caused me is something I can never forget my whole life, no matter how much care you give me as parents now. You can never make up for the void I felt as a child, and all the cold surges and hot winds I faced afterward are pains that will forever be etched in my life!”