My Alleged Husband

Chapter 663: Chapter 638: Realizing the Mistake_1

Xia Jing’s eyes could no longer contain her tears as they slipped from her eyes, perhaps each droplet falling onto the palm of her hand, signifying how much of a failure she felt she had been throughout her life. The decisions she made time and again ultimately hurt the greatest love her son had for her.

She herself didn’t know if an apology at this stage would be of any use. If she apologized now, would her son forgive all the mistakes she, as a mother, had made? There was simply no way for her to undo what had been done. All that had transpired was but a culmination of her repeated errors. What right did she have to blame anyone else? She never considered what the outcome of her mistakes would be; each one she made caused others to go cold because of her actions. How could she now have the face to beg for forgiveness? She wasn’t the type to shamelessly seek forgiveness. If she had to grovel, she would rather leave with pride, maintaining the dignity and pride she held dear in her heart.

”Child, I am your birth mother, he is your birth father. How can you talk to us in such a tone? Do you realize how much it hurts us as parents? Have you ever considered how conflicted we as parents feel? Have you thought about how much pain and embarrassment your words cause your parents? You keep thinking that we abandoned you, that it was our fault. But if we admit our wrongdoings, can you accept it? You cling to these issues just to find some consolation deep within your heart, without even understanding why you can’t let go. You’ll never know the reasons behind the things we did, let alone have the right to discuss them. Maybe the things we did as your parents really did hurt you, but we too have faced the punishment we deserved. We’re not heartless people; we didn’t intend to leave our son and not look back. We were forced into it.

I believe that everyone goes through a time of youthful folly, thinking about enjoying freedom rather than staying home to care for their child. This was what your father and I thought at the time; we never planned to stay home and take care of you. But we couldn’t resist, all we could think about was going out to enjoy ourselves, and after having our fill of fun, we would return. But we never imagined that ’having fun’ would last over a decade. These past years have been incredibly painful for us; we feel like we owe a debt to you, our dearest son, yet we are powerless to change anything because this ending is the result of decisions we made. We can only grit our teeth and keep moving forward, and if the outcome isn’t what we wanted, then we must live with these consequences for the rest of our lives, because it was all our own doing. Who can we blame?”

Zhang Yichen didn’t want to say anything; he just quietly listened to every word his mother said. In reality, he was wavering inside, not understanding why he felt this uncertainty when he supposed to hate his parents so deeply. Why was his heart softening over a few placating words? Couldn’t he be as unfeeling as they were? His parents could abandon their own son for their freedom, so why couldn’t he, as their son, disown them for the sake of his pride?

”Child, those mistakes your father and I made in the past are beyond repair.”

If you really wish it, please let us stay by your side from now on, take care of you for life. We will never leave you again. We know how much our departure has affected you psychologically, and our hearts ache with pain too. We know better than anyone what we want, but we are powerless to make it reality. We could only watch hopelessly as our child stood at the doorstep, looking at us yet not daring to come forward for an embrace. Do you know how desperate that feels? You are my own flesh and blood; how could your mother not care about your feelings? We’ve thought it over again and again. Just to be back by your side, we would accept any outcome.”