My Alleged Husband

Chapter 634: Chapter 613 Unforgiven_1

Ran Zhihan heard her husband repeatedly saying these words and felt that if she didn’t seize this opportunity to firmly assert herself, then where would she stand in this family in the future? Although to her, having a foothold was not important, what mattered was whether she could be with her child for a lifetime.

Yet at this moment, she suddenly felt that if she did not even have a place to stand, what power and what right did she have to stay at home and be by her child’s side? All she wanted was to peacefully accompany her child, a request which might not seem excessive to others, but for her, it was nothing short of a luxury. She simply had no way out. If one day they really drove her out of the house, what should she do? How could she return to her child’s side? No one ever considered her feelings as a mother, always so selfish and self-centered.

Zhang Yichen seemed to completely overlook the expression on his wife’s face. At this moment, more or less, their relationship was being manipulated. A marriage that was once full of affection could one day be slowly drained by mutual suspicion. Even if the couple was deeply affectionate and had complete trust in each other, once someone interfered, their happy marriage could only end in ruin.

”Zhihan, let’s go back, shall we? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to watch our son grow up together? Stop being angry. What’s the point of getting upset? You’ll only hurt yourself and make me worry about you. Surely you wouldn’t want your husband to share in your worries. You’re so understanding. You should know what should be done and what shouldn’t, how we should treat each other, to make this marriage even happier. I know I haven’t trusted you enough, but have you ever thought about how much pain I felt inside after what happened that time? I’m not a saint, I have emotions too, and I can’t accept my wife remaining tied to another man!”

”Stop right there. How sweet the words, yet do you realize when you did wrong, how much you hurt me inside? You never considered my feelings, so why come now with this insincere talk? Besides, I haven’t agreed to forgive you yet. How can there be talk of us living a happy life? Since you admit that you don’t really trust me, how do you expect that as husband and wife, without trust, we could continue to live on? Think carefully about how we should act if we want this marriage to remain happily intact.”

”I’ve said it, I didn’t mean to doubt you, but some things are too compelling to ignore. I am a man, with my own pride. If I could just throw away my self-respect, then what’s the point of me being in this world? Everyone thinks differently. All I want is to live the life I desire securely. Why can’t you empathize with the pain in my heart?”

”So, you think that I have wrongly accused you, that your heart suffers, but do you not realize how much pain your words have caused me? You also wounded my self-respect, do you understand? I thought that my love for you was enough, that my confidence in our life together was sufficient. Yet I never imagined that, no matter what I did, in your eyes it was just a pipe dream!

All my hopes for you, due to your distrust, have been wasted, exhausted. Do you think life is worth living without a happy marriage? I don’t know if there’s any reason for us to go on. You probably want my forgiveness just to appease our child, but do you realize that every word you say, every action you make, weighs heavily to me because I care about you—I even care about your thoughts!

Perhaps you can’t understand this level of care, because you never cared for me that way. But do you know how much I care for you? For you, I could give up everything, so why can’t you feel the same in your heart? How much I long for a day when we can live well together. To you, all this may seem too extravagant, too difficult, but my heart aches even more than yours. Do you understand?”

”What do you want me to do then, to forgive me? This situation is not entirely my fault. Have you ever thought about whether my heart suffers from these issues too?

Have you ever considered the impact this has had on me? You’re all so stubborn and self-centered, never taking my feelings into account. I’m a living person too! Sometimes I get headaches, I feel my nerves intertwining and my head about to split open from the pain. You’ve never felt exhausted from work because I’ve arranged everything for you at home, so you just need to calmly stay with our child. And yet, you went out and did something to hurt me. I really don’t want to bring up the past, I just want the past to drift away with the wind, never to return. But you, you keep salting my wounds, you simply don’t trust—I mean really trust—that I want to live life sincerely with you. Maybe you don’t care, but I care about our marriage, I care whether our child can happily receive parental love.

You should know better than anyone, I’m a child who grew up without parental love, all I’ve accomplished came from my own struggles. I don’t want my son to suffer the same hardships, but you’ll never realize the fatherly hope of wanting one’s child to live happily, the effort it takes. I’ve given so much to this family, hoping that everyone could live without worry about food and clothing, but have you thought about why I’ve gone through all this hardship?

Whether you forgive me or not, please, for the sake of our child, let’s not let this hard-won marriage fall apart...”