My Alleged Husband

Chapter 604: Chapter 583 Unrequited Love_1

”All right, since you’ve already spoken to that extent, I have no grounds to argue. I know that deep down, you never really had a place for me in your heart. I don’t regret having spent so many years of my youth waiting for you. In my inner world, as long as I feel I love you, I could go on living just to protect you, and that has been enough for me.

Perhaps everyone seeks different things, and the outcomes they face will vary. You want a life of freedom and love, while all I have done is wait for you, yearning for you, sacrificing all my youth for you.

Now I am tired. I know that all of this is nothing but my own doing, my own folly. In the end, it has only hurt my own feelings. Since I was never in your heart, why should I force you to stay by my side? I should have never appeared and should not have disrupted your originally peaceful and happy life. Now I have become the eternal sinner, and I can’t forgive myself. But I hope you can live in peace—that alone would suffice. I ask for nothing more than your forgiveness; I only beg you not to hate me and perhaps still regard me as a friend!”

Ran Zhihan never imagined that one day the good relationship they had as classmates would turn into what it was now, nor did she expect it would come so soon. She wanted nothing more than a stable life. Why then did she end up hurting so many people? Could it be that her so-called love would lead everyone to be heartbroken because of her?

Because of her, her grandfather had been worried sick, her marriage was in shambles, and she was on the verge of a separation. Yet, her old habits remained, leading to repeated instances of making things difficult and causing heartache for everyone. Why couldn’t anyone understand her well-intentions? Why did they all treat her as if she were an enemy? Didn’t she deserve their trust?

”I’ve already said it—I won’t choose to hate you, no matter what. Everything you did was for me. You have already been greatly hurt because of me, so it’s not right for me to doubt your intentions. I know that no matter how grave the mistake, you did it for me, and it was because of me that you have fallen into this irretrievable abyss. I have no right to blame you, much less to complain. All I can do is make you understand that no matter what, I will believe in you, because in my heart, you have always been my best friend!

Since the conversation has reached this point, let me be frank with you. Since I’ve always considered you a good friend, you shouldn’t harbor any improper thoughts towards me. You should see me rightly as your friend and not repeatedly harbor thoughts of taking advantage. I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling right now, but at least I want you to clearly know that some things can’t be obtained by force, and some people can’t truly be possessed just because they’re comrades. The nature of our relationship may still be unclear to you, but please understand that my painstaking efforts are sincere. We’re really not suited to be together. You may have once felt we were perfect for each other, sharing the same worldview, but eventually, you will see that we are truly not meant to walk the same path...”

Chen Gang, although he had anticipated such a response, still felt a tinge of discomfort when hearing these words from the woman he loved. Why was it that after all he had done for her, all he received in return was a simple thanks and still had to endure her censure? Did none of his actions have any merit? Why couldn’t he ever achieve a favorable outcome in her eyes, or diminish the suffering he endures? Why did everything become so complicated because of his appearance, leaving him to suffer and end up so embarrassingly defeated?

”Yes, of course, for you it seems none of it matters, you didn’t have to pay a painful price. What about me? I’ve given so many years of my youth. Why is it that only a woman’s youth is precious, and a man’s youth is not? During this time, I could have easily found a woman to marry and start a family with, but I didn’t. I always harbored a hope against hope, just wanting to be with you, even if you had a child for another man, I still loved you, and that has never changed. But today, when you tell me these things, I am utterly disheartened. No matter what I do, it seems I can never achieve a favorable outcome in your eyes; you will never believe that I did all this for you. Your world has become distorted; all you see is that man, and there’s never a place for me.

Zhihan, is your heart truly made of stone? After all I’ve sacrificed for you, can you really ignore it, turn a deaf ear to it? Why can’t you calm down and ask yourself what kind of love you really want? The years I’ve waited for you are all Dong Liu because of a single word from you. All the youth I’ve given, but still, I never had your regard, your choice. You will never stand by my side to consider what I truly want; you only know your actions are not what I desire!

Is hurting me a form of amusement for you? Is it that only once I’m battered and bruised can you live your lives happily? Is it necessary to harm others to achieve your so-called love and happiness? By hurting others, can your happiness truly last? Happiness should not be built on the pain of others. Today, I’ve finally realized that all my love for you over the years has just been my own fanciful delusions; you never loved me because you never have had room for me in your heart. In the end, I’m on a path of no return!

That’s right, it’s all been wishful thinking on my part. I never deserved you. It’s always just been my own wishful thinking!”