My Alleged Husband

Ran Zhihan felt an increasing discomfort in her heart after being pulled out of Old Master Zhang’s hospital room by Zhang Yichen. Why hadn’t her husband sought her out during all these days? Was she really still his wife in his heart? Was such neglect normal for him as a man? Why treat her this way when all she needed was his tenderness as a frail woman?

”What exactly are you trying to accomplish by dragging me around like this? Haven’t we already made ourselves clear? If you’ve always suspected that I’m with you for your family’s wealth, then why treat me like this today? This only makes my heart more entangled and in greater pain. I understand that what you want in your heart is different from me. Perhaps every decision I make is against your liking. But do you know that everything I do is for you? It’s all just so I can be with you for a lifetime, never to leave you. And yet, in the end, all I’ve received is a heart full of scars.”

Yichen, please give me some time. Let me calm down. Don’t keep entangling me this way. Let’s both have a moment of peace to think about whether we still want to continue living together. Let’s reflect on ourselves and see if we’ve done anything wrong. I know sometimes I’m not good at speaking or doing things. But please don’t despise me. Don’t assume that everything is my fault. Is that possible?”

I also understand that my parents have enjoyed too much happiness and joy abroad because of me, something I may never be able to give them in my lifetime. But I’m grateful to you, because you let my parents experience the joy of family, and in doing so, you repaid the kindness my parents showed me all these years. I am truly thankful to you from the bottom of my heart. But I can’t continue to let you wrong me time and time again. You doubt me, and I can bear it quietly, but I’m not a pushover, to be squeezed by others at will. I’m a living person, I feel pain. When doubted by my own husband, my heart can feel like it’s dying. But who has ever felt this kind of pain?”

Zhang Yichen stopped in his tracks. In that moment, he suddenly felt that he had no words to refute his wife. Everything she said made so much sense. What had he done as a husband to hurt his wife like this?

Reflecting on his doubts about his wife, was that really what a husband should suspect? How deeply his wife cared about him—he knew that well, yet he pretended not to care. Was this the outcome he wanted to see? Or could he simply not comprehend the depth of emotion he truly craved in his heart.

”Ran Zhihan, whenever something’s wrong, can you not always go about it by whispering and compromising? If you have something to say to me, just say it boldly. Why do you always belittle yourself? Do you not know that this makes me despise you? Your actions truly hurt me. I never imagined where you might end up, and I never thought what our marriage might become. Do you know how excited, how fortunate I felt the moment I married you? I was grateful to the heavens for giving me the chance to marry the woman I love the most in my life. Don’t make me regret it, okay?”

Listening to her husband’s words, Ran Zhihan felt even worse. What was this life for? For a man who had doubted her from the beginning? Why make such a great sacrifice?

Everything in the world is supposed to be fair. She understood that well. Yet she had still naively jumped into the fire pit. Would she never be able to turn her life around? All she wanted was a stable life as a married couple. Why was that so hard for her? Didn’t anyone want to give her that kind of life? Did she really not deserve a happy life in their eyes?

”You don’t have to say these things to me. I’m grateful to you in my heart and love you, more than I can believe I’m capable of deciding. Being with you, I didn’t know what love was at first. I only knew my heart beat for you and ached more when you were sad. I knew as long as you were by my side, I would be very happy. Gradually, I understood; that was my love for you. And this love won’t change just because we have conflicts. On the contrary, I’m grateful you stayed with me through all the hardships, regardless of the pain. It’s been the happiest thing in my life, and I can’t bear to see you in pain!

No one can clearly say where our relationship stands. Many decisions I made— who can I blame? I knew some decisions would make me cry for a lifetime, yet I still jumped without looking back, until I was covered with wounds. Yet I still wait foolishly, hoping that someone will come to stay by my side.”

”Let’s both step back. After all, we have a young son at home. I’ve thought about it many times. I should let my son have a happy childhood, not immerse him in training forever like I was. In the end, although I gained the world, my heart was empty. I want my child to have the joyful childhood you talked about, not to prove himself over and over to those who don’t care about him. It would make one feel tired and passive. No one understands this pain, but I don’t want my son to endure every step I’ve gone through; it’s too cruel for him!”