Peerless Bodyguard of a Stunning Beauty

When the Crematorium Director heard Zhao Rong say that the zombie-slaying weapon—the sandalwood sword—was about to arrive, he scoffed in disbelief. ”Kid, don’t spout nonsense or make empty boasts,” he said. ”The only reason I had the guts to tell you what weapon kills these zombies is because I know you have no way of obtaining them.”

This crematorium is in the middle of nowhere, completely cut off from the world, the Crematorium Director thought. Forget buying a sandalwood sword at some nearby market. Even if he ordered one online from OmniCart, JD-Mart, or even Amazon, the delivery would take time. By the time a courier got here, they’d all be torn to shreds by the zombies’ sharp fangs.

Meanwhile, the assistant standing behind Zhao Rong asked anxiously, ”Zhao Rong, that horde of a thousand zombies will be on us in twenty or thirty seconds. Are you sure those sandalwood swords you bought from the Paradise Shopping Cart will get here in time?”

Zhao Rong nodded, his expression relaxed. ”Don’t worry. Forget twenty seconds. I think the sandalwood swords we need will be in our hands in just ten. I chose the fastest delivery option: the Delivery Cannon…”

Before Zhao Rong could finish, a rectangular package plummeted from the sky. The Crematorium Director, standing opposite them, looked up as the plastic-wrapped parcel fell. ”Damn it,” he muttered, bewildered. ”Who has nothing better to do than throw trash into my crematorium?”

Zhao Rong, however, looked at the package and quickly addressed his group. ”Those are the sandalwood swords I bought! Hurry, let’s open it up! Grab one each and prepare for battle!”

Hearing his command, the assistant, Lili, Yu Lan, Xuelian, and Wang Guihua rushed forward. Together with Zhao Rong, they tore open the package and retrieved the sandalwood swords from within. When each of the six of them was holding a sandalwood sword, the Crematorium Director was rendered speechless with shock.

He took a step back, staring at the six sandalwood swords in disbelief. ”Damn it, how is this possible? What shopping site did you use? A delivery this fast is beyond the technology of our time!”

Wielding his sandalwood sword, Zhao Rong explained, ”Well, since you told us your secret, I suppose it’s only fair we tell you ours. I did indeed buy this sword online. The thing is, I bought it from a shopping site that only immortals can use: the Paradise Shopping Cart.”

Hearing the name ”Paradise Shopping Cart,” the Crematorium Director looked utterly confused. ”What kind of site is that?”

Zhao Rong smiled. ”It’s a mobile app that ordinary people on Earth don’t know about. Only immortals can shop on it.”

”If only immortals can use it and humans can’t, then how can you shop on that app with your phone?” the Director asked skeptically.

Zhao Rong chuckled. ”I don’t know either. One day, I was just randomly searching on my phone when I came across a mobile app called the Paradise Shopping Cart. At the time, I even wondered if it was a subsidiary of some big tech giant, because I’d never seen it before. Out of curiosity, I downloaded it onto my phone. After I installed it, I discovered you could buy all sorts of magical things on it. And its delivery methods are just as bizarre—there’s no method of delivery they can’t do, only ones you can’t imagine.”

Hearing this, the Crematorium Director slapped himself twice. ”Damn it!” he said, filled with regret. ”Why didn’t you tell me you had such an incredible shopping app? If I’d known you could get your hands on zombie-killing weapons so quickly, I never would have told you that you needed sandalwood swords!”

Zhao Rong’s expression suddenly turned cold. ”And how could we have let you know that? If we had, we wouldn’t have been able to catch you by surprise and defeat you.” Turning to the five people behind him, he said, ”We have the weapons. Let’s eliminate these zombies.”

With that, Zhao Rong was the first to charge into the zombie horde, sandalwood sword in hand. With the Divine Artifact in his grasp, he felt an exhilarating rush as he slaughtered the zombies. The sandalwood sword was their ultimate bane; even a random swing that grazed a zombie would instantly reduce it to a pile of ash.

Seeing how devastatingly effective the swords were, the assistant, Lili, Yu Lan, Xuelian, and Wang Guihua didn’t hesitate for a moment. They charged into the fray. Wielding their own sandalwood swords, the six of them annihilated the entire horde of over a thousand zombies in less than three minutes.

In an instant, the once arrogant and seemingly invincible Crematorium Director was all alone. Zhao Rong and his group had turned the tables completely and now had him surrounded.

When the Crematorium Director saw he was surrounded, he raised his fists. ”Oh, right, I forgot to mention something. When I was younger, I trained in boxing in America alongside Tyson himself. I may be a bit old now, but my boxing skills are still top-notch. If you six dare to come any closer, I can take every single one of you down.” He warned Zhao Rong’s group to stay back, insisting they had no hope of defeating him.

But before the Director could finish his threat, Zhao Rong launched a flying kick that sent him to the ground, half-dead.

”Damn it,” Zhao Rong laughed. ”If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a poser like you.”

The kick had broken seven of the Director’s ribs. He lay on the ground, coughing up blood. ”I’ve run these streets for so many years,” he wheezed in agony. ”I can’t believe I’m going to fall at the hands of a few students.”

Zhao Rong stepped forward and punched the Director squarely on the nose, causing blood to gush out. ”We’re taking a piece of trash like you to the police station right now to face justice.” With that, Zhao Rong found a piece of wire on the ground and tied the man up.

When the Crematorium Director realized Zhao Rong was serious about taking him to the police station, he immediately got on his knees and began to beg. ”Please, sir, I beg you, let me go! If you hand me over, a man who’s committed as many crimes as I have will definitely get a life sentence!”

The assistant stepped forward and slapped the Crematorium Director across the face. ”For a menace to society like you, a life sentence is too light. I think the death penalty would suit you better.”

The Director turned his pleas back to Zhao Rong. ”Sir, if you don’t turn me in, I’m willing to give you this crematorium!”

Hearing the offer, Zhao Rong immediately scoffed. ”Why would I want your crematorium? Are you crazy? That’s just bad luck.”

”Sir, don’t underestimate my crematorium,” the Director insisted. ”Its registered capital and total assets are worth tens of millions.”

Zhao Rong was taken aback. ”Holy shit, I had no idea your crematorium was so valuable.”

Sensing a flicker of interest, the Director pressed on. ”Not only is it extremely valuable, but its annual revenue is at least several million!”

”Holy crap,” Zhao Rong said, amazed. ”A monopoly like this really is a hugely profitable business.”

”Since it’s so profitable, I’ll give it to you in exchange for my freedom. A fair trade, what do you say?” the Director said, pointing to a key in his pocket. He looked at the assistant standing beside Zhao Rong. ”You, sir, that’s the key to my safe. Take it, open the safe, and you’ll find a legal document inside. As soon as I put my thumbprint on it, this crematorium will belong to your leader, Zhao Rong, as his private property.”

Seeing the safe key, the assistant immediately bent down and picked it up. As he ran toward the building, he chuckled to himself.

This guy’s safe might even have a few gold bars inside. I’ll go open it, pocket them for myself, and then just give the legal document to Zhao Rong. I could make a fortune!

But when the assistant swung open the safe door with a grin, he froze. Inside, apart from the legal document, there was only a Spellbook. Disappointed, he grabbed both items and returned. He tossed the document in front of the Crematorium Director. ”Hurry up and put your thumbprint on it.”

Then, he handed the Spellbook to Zhao Rong.

As Zhao Rong placed the Spellbook into his Magic Ring, he said to the Director, ”Don’t you dare put your thumbprint on that. I don’t want your damn crematorium.”

But it was too late. The Crematorium Director had already pressed his thumb firmly onto the paper. He looked up at Zhao Rong and smiled. ”Sir, I’ve already consulted a lawyer. Once my thumbprint is on this document, this crematorium, worth tens of millions and generating millions a year, is all yours.”

Seeing the deed was done, Zhao Rong spun on his assistant. ”What have you done?! Our plan was to take this guy to the police station and see him brought to justice! Now that he’s given me the crematorium, what are we supposed to do?”

Before Zhao Rong could finish, the Crematorium Director suddenly coughed up a mouthful of blood. He collapsed to the ground, convulsing, and within moments, he was dead.

Zhao Rong stared in absolute shock at the Director’s inexplicably sudden death. Just then, a roster fell from the dead man’s clothes. It contained the names and photos of everyone scheduled for cremation in the coming week.

To Zhao Rong’s utter astonishment, the roster contained his own name and photo, as well as his assistant’s.