My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2368: Chapter 2201: Years Gone By

The promises of a future as beautiful as a painting—was it all just dreams?

”Dad, Mom, have you really thought about it? The paths we’re on are increasingly distant, and we’ve gradually strayed from our true selves. We can’t clearly remember the kind of life we truly want anymore. I’m uncertain how long this kind of life will continue before it ends.

After waking up time and again, I discovered that everything was completely different from what I had imagined. In that moment, I felt heartbroken. Even though I had given my all, and believed my efforts were not in vain, that I was without guilt to myself, my parents, and my true heart. Yet the ultimate outcome betrayed me, everything went against my wishes, and my efforts didn’t yield the proportional results I hoped for.

Upon witnessing this conclusion repeatedly before me, while feeling utterly powerless, I knew all this pain could only linger deep within me, tormenting me again and again, yet I could do nothing. Who really knows my inner heartache and suffering at this moment? Who knows how torturous and miserable my life is right now? No one ever cared about what I felt inside. Everyone lives for their own interests, forgetting the life they once wished to offer others.

I never asked for anything; I just wanted the truest moments of happiness and joy in life. But what have I received in return? Absolutely nothing. All I’ve gotten is recurring painful memories that torment my soul and spirit over and over again.”

Xia Jing never imagined her son would say such things today. Borrowing his interest to donate her child, he never spoke to her in this manner. He never thought they would end up like this one day. In the past, he believed if he worked hard enough, things wouldn’t turn out this way. But why does everything turn out contrary to expectations as time goes on? Gradually, he’s lost his way, unsure of what he truly desires, continuing forward step-by-step, only to realize in the end everything has deviated from its course.

”Dad, Mom, I hope our relationship doesn’t one day become as difficult as today’s times. I just hope to live happily under these living conditions. Those carefree days are what I desire the most. If I one day drift further away, losing sight of my original path in Beijing, finding myself on a road that isn’t meant for me, I still hope you can offer me the perfect care.

I will never forget what those so-called actions turned into in the beginning. I just hope I can live a happier life, even if it’s just a little more happiness, I’d feel so much better. Yet in the end, I realize this isn’t what I want at all. I don’t understand why I’ve reached this point. I once thought about the life I wanted. I’ve walked step-by-step on a road I grudgingly faced, hoping to carve out a different path for myself. But in the end, what have I found? Absolutely nothing!

The way I’ve ended up now, all I ever wanted was for my life to be vibrant and splendid, even if it’s just a little bit, I’d feel much happier. But I’ve ultimately received nothing. I’ve lost too much. I remember someone once said not to focus on what you’ve lost but to appreciate what you have. But everything I’ve had, I’ve slowly lost it all. Everything I cherished has gradually become an illusion. You’ve never achieved what you truly desired.

Dad, Mom, if one day I become unrecognizable to you and you find it hard to believe I was the child you once loved the most, I hope you consider why I turned into this. To piece my life together step-by-step, to be how I am now, it hasn’t been easy for me. All I wanted was a colorful life. But in the end, I got nothing, reaching this point step-by-step. Who cared about my innermost thoughts, my toil and tears? Each step was harder than others’ paths, and my efforts exceeded everyone else’s, yet I gained nothing.

Time can change many things, time can transform people repeatedly. It can bring everyone happy days. But time didn’t heal my deepest wounds; instead, it leaves them in my memories, tormenting me over and over again. It endlessly reminds me of the so-called damages and pain I’ve suffered. I can’t erase them from existence or forget them.

I used to have na?ve ideals. Gradually, I became aware everything and every step I took was wrong. I often wish for a happier, easier path, even if it’s just a little easier—at least I wouldn’t be suffering the way I do, so utterly fatigued.”

Zhang Zhentian never imagined his child had such a fragile side. In his eyes, his child was always strong, full of life. The happiness was clear, yet how did things change? How did his path become so arduous step-by-step, leading him to make such irreversible decisions? Must his life follow this prescribed path of suffering, unable to alter it, plagued by others’ insults repeatedly? Must he suffer disruptions in his life perpetually?

All he wants is a simple hug, a simple act of care, a simple greeting. But he receives none of those. Sometimes, he’s scared to lose everything he supposedly has. Yet ultimately, what has he gained? Absolutely nothing. He’s lived too hard a life, his path stretches into the distance, deviating from his initial desires.

Perhaps he should have let go long ago—why are his eyes filled with tears?