My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1661: Chapter 1455: Embrace

Watching you force a smile, it feels like you’re suffering even more.

Zhang Zhentian knows very well in his heart that the emotional pain he has caused his son may never be erased in this lifetime.

As parents, who doesn’t understand in their hearts that their child may not know how their past choices have caused their child so much pain? In the end, the only thing they can do is pretend that none of it ever happened. Only by choosing to forget, maybe others can act as if it was all just a dream.

Why is it that in this lifetime, I always bring my child pain? Is it really that hard to let him live happily under my wing? What I want isn’t much; I just want my family, my loved ones, everyone to be happy and joyful. But why does every decision I make, every action I take, always end up being the opposite of what I imagined? Why can I never make my family truly happy?

Is it that nothing I do is ever right? Why can I never bring happiness to my loved ones? Is it because I’ve never done anything right in this lifetime? I only want my family to be happy, so why does everything I’ve done end in vain?

Why must the people I love leave me one after another? Is it just because I’ve made mistakes? Does one wrong action have to lead to a lifetime of resentment? Why can’t they forgive me, even just once? Maybe it’s because of repeated harm that everything has become so complex, making everyone not want to stay with me, making everyone want to leave and go far away. Perhaps it’s my actions that have caused everyone so much pain and suffering.

If heaven could really give me another chance, I would never do anything to make my family sad or upset. Everything I’ve done made everyone change so much, yet why have I never received retribution? If heaven is willing, willing to forgive me, then please give me a bolt of lightning, strike me down, let me leave this world forever, never opening my eyes again. When I do open them, all I feel is pain, no joy. The pain blinds my eyes, covers my entire heart, as pain spreads throughout.

When the pain in my heart spreads through my entire being, at that moment, I truly understand what I want. But by then, it’s really too late. I’ve already lost the person who loved me the most, I’ve lost my whole world, and I can only silently shed tears, with no way to turn back time, because all of this is the consequence of my actions. I can’t blame anyone else, perhaps heaven is truly fair. Because I hurt him, he really left and never came back.

”Perhaps, my child, you’ll never understand a certain kind of pain, the kind that comes from leaving the one you love the most, and that person, due to your mistakes, has given up on you forever. You’ve never experienced that kind of pain. Long before I met your father, do you understand? I had a particularly wonderful boyfriend.

The time with him was the happiest and most joyful of my life. He gave me a joy no one else could ever provide. He gave me all his love, layer by layer like peeling an onion until there was nothing left. Do you know how much his heart hurt?

I don’t know how to truly feel his pain; I only know he was truly desperate. He deleted all my contact information in despair. You have no idea how I got through those years, feeling like each day was a year. I missed him every moment, wanting him back by my side, but ultimately there was no way.

He left, and once he left, he would never return to my side. I knew clearly that I had completely and utterly lost him because of my actions that hurt him. Time and again I tried to reconnect, but he never responded, eventually changing all his contact information. At that moment, I realized how deep his despair was, and understood the immense harm I caused him. I deeply regret everything I did. If only I hadn’t acted impulsively, hadn’t made those heartless decisions. He loved me so much, willing to give me the whole world, until finally, he told me that I was in all his plans, yet even so, do you know how painful that is? It’s an unforgettable pain, etched into the bones. You think the pain we’ve caused you as parents is excruciating, branded into your bones, but do you know? The pain I caused him was a wound etched in his heart. When I discovered his contacts erased and every trace of our time together gone, I realized he was really in despair, and I know I will never have another chance to see him. The world is so vast, where should I even begin to search for him? I don’t even know his exact address, living each day blindly...”

Zhang Yichen listened to his mother’s words, a bit stunned. He never thought his mother had such a deep and unforgettable love. It turns out his mother was not cold-hearted; she just knew her actions had harmed that person and knew she could never go back to the way things were. Yet she still made decisions that repeatedly hurt her loved ones. Her heart wasn’t truly bad; she merely forgot how to respect and love others, living selfishly. Perhaps this was her way to avoid recalling past hurts; she forgot that in this world, the greatest thing is respect, mutual trust, and loyalty...

Love is like a fragile crystal of colored threads, held in the palms of two people, yet you accidentally shattered it all over the ground.