My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1600: Chapter 1394: Fear of Pain

Zhang Zhentian lay on the hospital bed, seemingly unable to hear anything his wife said. He continued to be lost in his dreams, where he and his wife held hands. Those happy times made him reluctant to wake up no matter what, believing that as long as he was with her, he could forget all the worldly pain and sorrow.

Yet, again and again, he forgot why he did everything, why he ended up like this today. He forgot everything, but she never knew that her family could someday love her this much.

In his slumber, he turned his head towards her, unwilling to open his eyes because he feared that once opened, everything would fade away. He feared the disappearance of his dream, but she didn’t know that was his only goal, nor did he know that the woman he loved was sitting by his bedside, calling to him with love, unaware that his family was living in anxious anticipation due to his repeated resuscitations.

If he knew, maybe he would open his eyes to see these family members who suffer so much for his sake.

Xia Jing didn’t want to think about anything else now, nor did she want to consider her own physical feelings. She knew the only thing she needed to do was to call him, she needed to bring her husband out of his slumber. She needed him to explain to the whole world that he was not a bad person, and that everything hadn’t turned out this way because of her. She just wanted everyone to know that her heart wasn’t so bad, and that she was a kind woman who longed for her family’s trust. But why wouldn’t her husband wake up and let her bear such enormous pressure?

”Zhentian, haven’t you always hoped to continue living with me? If you wake up quickly, I promise I will never think of anything else again, I will never leave you. I will stay by your side obediently for the rest of my life, and never talk about leaving you again. But all I want is for you to wake up. Is it so difficult for you to wake up? Once again, you choose to leave me in endless pain, forgetting that I too need love, and that I need you to stay by my side.

Zhentian, can you really bear to let me endure all this pressure alone?

If you were awake, you wouldn’t want me to bear this kind of pressure.

Because I believe deep in your heart, you truly love me, not for any other reason. Yet, do you know? Seeing you lying here, I feel heartbroken. Only when I saw you lying beside me did I realize you occupy such an important place in my heart. For you, I wish it was me who bore all the pain!

I can’t bear to see you in such pain, seeing you live in pain doesn’t feel good for me either. But some things I can only choose to go one step wrong and then wrong after wrong. Only when everyone knows I was wrong and you were the only one right, did I realize I couldn’t leave you!

I used to think that no one in this world would be indispensable. No one couldn’t live without anyone. Yet now I find it’s not you who can’t live without me, but I who can’t live without you. My heart aches, seeing your sadness over and over, seeing your pain because of my actions over and over, how could I remain unmoved?

Zhentian, I beg you, please wake up, wake up and see what your most beloved woman has become now. Wake up and listen to what people outside are saying about the one you love most. Do you know? Hearing those rumors, I feel very hurt inside, yet I can only choose to endure because in the end, it’s all related to me.

If not for me, how could things have become like this, choosing over and over again, only to make myself more painful? I never thought that in the end, I would still be in your hands. I wanted to be a cold-hearted person, never being touched by your actions in this lifetime.

But I forgot, I am also a living person, and I’m a woman too. When being cherished by a man, I feel happiness, I feel I have found the best home in the world. But I harden myself, time and again turning into someone everyone despises, because I didn’t want everyone to look down on me. I wanted everyone to know that I could also rely on my own efforts to make it to the end.

Zhang Zhentian remained unresponsive.

Xia Jing saw that her husband showed no reaction, and she became a bit anxious. She was really worried, if the best time for waking up passed, would she truly never be able to awaken him?

Xia Jing kept calling at the bedside, until her mouth was dry. But she had to keep persisting, because she wanted to be the one who woke him, the only one.

Zhang Yichen saw from outside how his mother’s lips were already cracked, but he knew she was stubborn. She wouldn’t stop until she achieved her aim. If she couldn’t awaken his father, even if he tried to persuade her, she wouldn’t stand up because deep inside, she wanted her husband to wake up. She wanted her family to stay by her side. In her world, maybe none of her family supported her staying in this home, except her husband, who never left her. No matter what, she was willing to stay by his side. But why did fate have to make a joke out of her, only making her realize his importance after something happened?

If she had understood this crucial point earlier, would the outcome have been different? Would everything not be so passive? Would her family have been safe? Would her husband not have to endure all this torment from the machines while lying here?