My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1576: Chapter 1370: What Are You Afraid Of

No matter what kind of pain I have endured, I should know that the burden I bear should not be forcibly placed on others.

Now I see my wife, far from my side, seeing through the woman I love most, yet no matter what, I cannot bring her back to my side. At that moment, who can truly understand the deep pain within my heart?

If cruelty is a form of composure, I must not choose passivity. If this so-called poverty exists, it is merely because I dare not pursue my own dream.

In truth, ordinary people have their own ordinary troubles. Whether it’s called love or pain, it’s too generalized. The deep-seated pain in one’s heart is known only to oneself and only those who have experienced their torture and hurt can truly understand.

Old Master Zhang genuinely doesn’t know what words to use to talk about his son and daughter-in-law. Why is it that in their eyes, the family seems so easy to dismiss, and why is loving someone just so trivial? Is it really so difficult to offer even a small measure of true affection?

He feels that he has given too much over the years. He cannot believe that all he gets in return for his lifetime of effort is such a conclusion. He hopes everyone in the family can try to understand him. How does she forgive him? Just a bit of love for her makes him happy. But why, in the end, does he find that all of this is merely his fantasy, that he gains nothing no matter how much effort he puts in, and in the family’s eyes, he is forever insignificant? His son doesn’t regard him as a father, and everyone in the family wants to flee from him. Is he really that frightening? Reflecting on the many years he has given, every hardship should be understood by everyone.

”I don’t understand why despite the many efforts I put in, in your eyes it’s so insignificant. I have asked you countless times, yet in the end, what results have you given me? Who has ever cared about my inner pain? How difficult has each of my steps been, and who has considered my feelings? My efforts, everything I have given, I really don’t know what words to say to you. I only know that these years have been very painful, and every step I take feels like walking on thin ice. I have never regretted it; I only wish my family could stay by my side. I just hope everyone can give me the ending I desire most, even if just one deceitful word saying it’s for my sake, for loving me, would make me very happy indeed!

I have done too many bad things in my life. I can’t even distinguish which ones are right and which are wrong. As long as it’s what you want, I’ll do everything to give it to you. Yet I still want to give you everything because I love you. For this family, I can give up everything. You are my son; how could a father heartlessly shut you out over and over? I can’t do it. Can’t you give me the time a father needs to calmly think about how I should choose to love you, and how I should express all my feelings towards you?

Child, sometimes I ponder what all these actions were for. Don’t sacrifice everything for the sake of things without knowing why. You should think about what kind of life you truly want to live. Why dwell on unhappy reasons for some worthless matters? Everyone has their own path to walk. What we should do is make our lives richer and more colorful. Don’t face life sadly, doubting everything it presents throughout your lifetime.”

”Dad, do you know I’ve thought about what all my efforts count for? All I want is for every family member to understand me. But in the end, who really understood my feelings? Step by step I come to this day, and who stands from my perspective to consider these issues? I really don’t understand what I should do to truly receive your love. I’m so scared that I’ll never have the chance to see you again in this life. I’m so scared to be always outside, never able to come home. I’m frightened. I no longer want to experience such a life. This kind of life makes me lose confidence. All I want is a peaceful and stable life, but why is it so difficult? Is what I want really that hard to attain?

I truly wish time could flow backward; the day time rewinds will be the day I choose to give up everything to be by your side. I’ll never forget the tears that rolled down when I turned to leave. How much it pained me, do you know?

Dad, have you considered it? Although I am a child, I made a wrong choice back then, choosing to leave this family. Yet deep down, that’s not how I feel. I never thought of abandoning anyone in this family. I was forced back then, making that choice, step by step following the path I was forced upon, resulting in the situation now. I have no way to return; I have no path to turn back to. But I regret it; I truly regret it. I regret every decision I made. I regret all the efforts made with sadness. I only wish I could return to this family, to be by your side. I plead for your forgiveness time and time again, yet again, who stands in my shoes to forgive me even once?

You say I do all this just for Xing Xing’s sake, so that he might change his view on me as his father, but have you considered why I do this? Is it just because my son says those things to me? Despite everything I want out of life being so simple, all I want is to live a peaceful and uneventful life, not being disrupted by anyone, free from threats or influence, living the life I desire without changing my pace for anyone.

But now I realize everything has changed; I feel life holds no direction and I am lost. I wander bewildered in a dark forest, not knowing what methods to safely traverse this path. I only want to live by your side being the devoted son that I should be. I wish this home is always mine, free from disruptions and wrongs. Why can’t I achieve this? I am scared, I regret it, I don’t want to continue through life like this. All I want is a simple life, yet I ultimately obtain nothing.

Dad, I beg you. I plead with you now, let me peacefully stay by your side, don’t drive me away anymore. I won’t be angry with you, won’t have fits anymore, as long as you let me stay by your side. This shouldn’t be too difficult for you, right? I plead, help me a bit at the start of the meeting, don’t control me with such measures anymore. I plead. I can’t endure it anymore. I’m in pain, you know, this kind of life isn’t what I want. I implore you with all my heart, let me return to your side...”

Even without any audience, even if I am the first to be touched, I must believe that in the final moment, amidst the vast sea of people, I will still be able to find his figure!