My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1580: Chapter 1374: Wings

As long as in that moment you encounter true love, don’t give up. Believe that true love will always stay by your side, and you will receive the love that your innermost heart desires the most.

Zhang Zhentian and Xia Jing will never know why they have never dared to face the consequences of their mistakes.

They both thought, having lived so long, that they would naturally accept the mistakes they’ve made. But unexpectedly, when faced with those errors, they were completely afraid.

Everyone experiences fear, and everyone is afraid of others knowing their mistakes. But correctly facing your mistakes is what a truly brave person should do, isn’t it? Yet why can’t we take responsibility for our own mistakes? Ultimately, it’s a fear of losing the other person completely. Even though both have each other in their hearts, they deny it out loud, trying to train themselves not to long for a life that doesn’t belong to them.

”Actually, we are both the same, there’s no right or wrong between us. We let go of unforgivable mistakes, and neither of us can face our errors correctly, not just you, even I am like this. I can’t face my mistakes correctly, so how could you? No one is a saint, and no one is without error. But the truly admirable thing is the courage to take responsibility for mistakes.

I know I’ll never have the chance to make such actions in this lifetime, but I sincerely hope if one day we can be together, don’t let it be like this!” Xia Jing said to Zhang Zhentian.

Maybe in the eyes of others, he thought his words were no big deal, but in his ex-husband’s eyes, these words gave him a glimmer of hope. He believes if he keeps trying, perhaps his wife will return to him. But will the result really be like that? Can shattered feelings truly be restored? Can a lost marriage ever be loving again? No one can give her a definitive answer, even when he made this decision himself, he felt like he was joking to himself, deceiving himself, let alone others.

”I don’t know what I need to do for you to choose to return to me. Perhaps in this life, we’ll never have another unforgettable chance. But when I see you cry, my heart still aches with you, even more than yours does. I’m afraid of seeing you cry because I can’t bear to see the woman I love the most shed tears. When we were together, I never provided you with a happy life, not even the things you wanted. This was a hurt to you and a failure for me to possess even the basic heart of responsibility as a man. This cowardice is what led us to this state. I’m truly afraid, afraid that one day we’ll truly stop contacting each other, and how much pain would my heart endure then? What I want is really not much. I just hope the person I love can accompany me a little more. This desire isn’t excessive, is it? But ultimately, I’ve personally shattered my marriage, driven away the person I loved the most, and turned the family that could have been happy for a lifetime into this fragmented mess.

To be honest, faced with such an outcome, no man would be free from heartache. Who doesn’t want a perfect life? Who doesn’t want to receive the care of their most beloved in life? But in my life, I’ve received too much of your love, and yet, perhaps that’s why the heavens are punishing me, ensuring I’ll never receive you again. Because I lost the person I love the most by my own doing, they abandoned me, the person who loved them the most. What right do I have to plead for forgiveness from the heavens? The mistakes you’ve made, you must bear the consequences for. Who would unwaveringly stand behind you to pay for your mistakes?

The human heart is mutual, and once hurt, can never return to its original state. Even if you give everything, you can’t regain the original state you once desired. Once it’s gone, it’s gone. I’ve seen all this as trivial, which allowed me to understand what heart-wrenching, soul-crushing pain really feels like. No one can experience that feeling, allowing me to personally stew in it. You struggle painfully in such feelings, as if you’re reaching out in the dark abyss and can’t see your own hand. I became afraid, afraid of my beloved leaving, afraid of those who love me leaving. I fear losing all that was once insignificant to me, thinking I could simply cut off feelings and move on, but in the end, I found that my heart had been filled by you all along, and there’s no way to go back to treating you emotionlessly as before.”

”Haha...

Don’t you think it’s meaningless to say this now? The way you once treated me is the way heaven repays you now. You made me sad and tearful, and now even God can’t bear it and naturally seeks justice for me. But I didn’t expect Heaven’s way of justice would be like this, not only hurting you but also hurting our father. If I had known this was the way justice would be served, I would have rather endured a lifetime of grievance than have heaven make a decision for me.

Actually, many times, you understand in your heart your actions, but you don’t know how to repay others. You’re unaware of the appropriate actions for the best outcome for both sides. But did you ever consider? When you’re thriving both in career and love, but the person beside you suddenly asks for a divorce, cruelly abandons you, and casts you into an abyss of despair, can your heart remain calm? Can you live your life so indifferently like before? Can you live a life that belongs to you quietly, without a care in the world? No one can live without longing from the heart!

Now with this result, neither of us can face each other, and don’t say I have no face to face you. You also have no face to face me. Since neither can face it, don’t keep entangling. Clinging bitterly only opens scabbed wounds and adds salt to it over and over again!”

The bravest thing of all is the feeling deep in one’s heart that they desire the most. All of this is not as simple as one imagines; everything is so difficult. Yet I have never given up.