My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1591: Chapter 1385: Trapped by Love

Zhang Ni actually knows what her father is truly thinking deep down. Over the years, although she has chosen to remain silent, she simply hopes to leave a way out for everyone, allowing each person to think carefully about how they should proceed and what actions they should take, so that decisions made for the sake of their own achievements do not cause sadness. Time and again, she has changed from who she used to be; as time has passed and family disputes have occurred again and again, she has slowly matured a lot. She realizes that to survive in this world, it is necessary for the family to live in harmony, and everyone needs to be united. If problems are only solved by force every time, then continuing to live here will only bring sadness and pain to her family.

Zhang Yichen will never understand what his son truly thinks inside, nor will he understand what his son feels in his heart. He only knows that as a father, he has fulfilled his responsibilities, having told his child everything that should be said. As for whether his son will choose to listen to his intentions in the end or not, it depends on whether he will choose to walk this path.

”Dad, deep down, you understand better than anyone, don’t you? You see things more clearly than anyone else, yet you choose to say nothing because you don’t want the relationships at home to worsen. Because of this, do you know that your current thoughts and actions bring different views to everyone in the family, making everyone feel conflicted because of what you do.

No one wants to live in pain forever; everyone wants to live happily and without harm. But hoping to live recklessly in this life—can it really be true? Can this truly become reality? Who can genuinely reach that state? Every time what everyone wants is just so painful, so sad, and no one thinks about what I should do, what do I gain from all this?

Back then, for trivial matters, I followed you all, and now I’ve realized just how absurd my actions were. Why did I cause disputes among you because of those things? Why make you feel that there is harm deep inside yourself?

I don’t know if what I’m doing is right or wrong. I just want everything to become different from before. I only want everyone in the family to live better and lead the life they most want, but why do I find that no matter what I do, I can’t get everyone in the family to live according to my wishes? Everything I do seems meaningless; should a decision really be made like that? Mom, why does it seem to you that I alone want to walk my own life path and explore the world on my own, that I want to travel the world through my own efforts, and yet you see it as just a joke, an empty phrase? You don’t treat what I say as real words at all.

What I’ve done is slowly reaching my desired goal, but in the end, I find that the outcome is the complete opposite of what I once wanted. I have no way to control it. It makes me feel too weak, unable to shape my best life. On the contrary, I’ve made my life a complete mess.”

”Child, let’s not talk about these things anymore. We father and son should get along harmoniously, shouldn’t we? Why argue over certain things again? The most important thing right now is to bring your grandparents back soon, to accompany your mom, so she can recover properly and live normally in the future. She shouldn’t be in this dazed state every day, sometimes losing her senses, sometimes coming back to clarity. Isn’t this also a form of pain for her deep down inside?

You know that your mom is a very proud person. Once she makes a decision, she won’t easily let anyone change it. But now, she can only lie here, trapped in a small space. If her mind were clear, do you think she would be happy? Would this be the life she most wanted? She would only see it as the greatest insult, thinking all of this is a burden she brought upon us, and she would consider herself a burden.”

”I don’t want to be entangled in these problems anymore. I hope you can go back and persuade Grandma and Grandpa to think clearly about what they genuinely want. If they continue to live without restraint like before, this home will never truly welcome them back sincerely. Their return would bring too many changes here, and these respites would always leave us caught off guard. I don’t want life to always continue this way. I hope they can really consider what they want most in this life and what they’ve turned us into with every decision they make.”

Zhang Zhentian stood there, listening to the dialogue between his son and grandson. He couldn’t believe that even now, they were considering what he, as an elder, had done all along, wondering how many people he had wronged over the years. But now, even though he has finally returned home, why does he keep hurting them in the same way again and again, casting away all their trust in him, letting all their efforts go to waste? All that he has done, what was it all for, hurting them like this? How could he possibly be fine deep down? How could he not feel any guilt?

Deep down, he is still in pain. However, faced with these problems, he does not know what choice to make. All he wants is to have everyone live happily, but the happy conclusion he wishes for never seems to come.

Deep down inside, he is in pain and conflict too. He wishes everyone to be happy, but his presence has made this originally harmonious family become as awkward as it is now.

No matter what, he just can’t figure out what he did wrong.